To not go to the hen do?

YANBU. Their attitudes are vile. How entitled is that bride. Like her hen do would be a priority for you to save for 🙄🙄🙄

However I think pulling out of the transport is really rude because, unless without you they can take less or smaller vehicles,

Have you read all of the OP's updates @stichguru? The driver wasn't just asking for petrol to be covered. She wanted to make a profit of over £50 out of the passengers (which I'm sure is illegal if you don't have a taxi licence)

Did you originally say you'd be going in the car with them? If so, that's what you should do. If the hen has added more costs, or you have less money, could you not back out of some of the things that haven't been booked yet, to keep the costs down? I get that it is costing more than you thought and your circumstances have changed, and pulling out of things that would be cheaper without you is fine. However I think pulling out of the transport is really rude because, unless without you they can take less or smaller vehicles, everyone else will have to subsidise your place. Even if your circumstances have changed, it's really rude to leave everyone else with a bigger bill than they thought.

Absolutely do not go. These are not your friends. Friends should make you feel included and valued. Drop them and don't go !

I just wanted to add. If the driver doesn't like you for some reason, often there's not much you can do about one person disliking you, apart from to avoid them.

Years ago in my 20s, I made some new friends, then I met 'the driver', a woman who was a friend of all of them but not a close friend, she shared a house with one guy who was a millionaire but we all went out clubbing together. From the first night she met me she was as bitchy as hell to me and the friend who introduced us and thought we'd get on. So I had to do stuff like go to her birthday meal, go out clubbing and she'd be there (but not all the time thank god) and then she had to invite me to her wedding because everyone else would wonder why she hadn't invited me. Even there, she vetoed what I wore and was generally unpleasant to me. I got my own back though when she was back from her Aussie other wedding. Not going to say what happened but suffice to say her motives and marriage were seen very differently by some of her so called friends and I made sure she knew about it by telling her face to face (she got upset), and then after that, I didn't really see them much or I did, but I'd grown out of them. I don't think she or the others realised that yes, I've got limits and she pushed them. I have no idea if the 'driver' (this woman, I won't called her a 'friend' changed - she had a baby not long after and I'm sure I saw her then but then they moved to Australia. All I can say is she was one of the nastiest pieces of work I've ever come across, went on to study psychology and said something classic about me needing it to our mutual friend. What I'm trying to say, is sometimes if someone dislikes you for whatever reason, it's usually jealousy, with this woman I think it was that but she'd never admit to it. But I could never change her perception of me and had to put up with her glowering at me/being bitchy to me behind my back. And luckily as I saw her but not that much I could avoid her nastiness. So maybe this woman has done you a favour, you do not need people liker her/them in your life.

Your life have changed recently a lot, less money, a baby and the responsibility of be a new mother. Yiu are tight with money and trying to squirrel away a few tenners because you don't have it. They sound like they are going to go feral in the hens do.
I wouldn't go, money aside, they look like they are in a different orbit than you right now.

You don't have to pay the money. You don't have to have anything more to do with this, or these unpleasant bullies. You're free! No need to apologise - they're nothing to you now. Just a short, crystal clear message:

Hi all, I'm no longer coming to the hen do or the wedding. Best wishes for the future, Bride. I'll leave the group now and you won't hear from me again.

Then leave. No explanations, no hanging on for a reaction, no apology.

If anyone contacts you, say 'I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm no longer attending the hen do or wedding so won't be in touch any further'. Then block.

After your updates just bin them off. You don't need people like this in your life. Maybe when the bride calms down and she's less bridezilla (that is a thing), you can see if you can repair the friendship if you like with her, but the rest of them could get to fuck if I were you re them.

I'd drop her faster than a sack of shit

With friends like those who needs enemies?

I wouldn't bother going OP. They are not nice people, and more likely than not already talk about you a great deal behind your back. I'd cut contact with the lot (including the bride).

Just say your not going, that's a really unfair situation they are putting you in and can't value friendship too much. Obviously just be prepared for it to ruin your friendship with the hen and any others you may know.

Babies are expensive and maternity pay is crap unless your work top up statutory so look after your best interests and if you back out/get uninvited to the wedding that will save you the money of a dress, present, travel etc too lol

Sounds to me like even if you do go now, there’s going to be an bit of an atmosphere, which won’t be nice for you or the bride.

They sound horrible! I wouldn’t be going and frankly wouldn’t care if didn’t see the bride or her mates again!

They all sound like awful people, tell them to fuck off and never speak to them again.

Life is too short to surround yourself with “friends” like that!

Hope you’re ok. Congrats on the new baby 🥰

Save your money and go for a spa day. Alone, or certainly not with these bitches.

Hell no!

Pull out, just pull out.

THey're not your friends.

To be honest I don’t think they really want you there
i went to a hen a few months ago and my friends were really considerate

Ah no, OP, they sound v immature and not friends who have a positive influence on you and make you happy. I couldn't go along with their expectations for the hen do or the dinner party - do you think you have the same values as them? If not I would remove yourself from the friendship group.

This = don't go.

It will get worse, not better.

£25 is taking the absolute piss. Don’t go, you won’t have any fun with this bunch of bitches. Do not give any money for things that have been booked either.

These people sound awful.

’sorry bride, unfortunately Im not going to be able to come to the hen do after all.’

Absolutely don’t go to the hen do! Very childish reaction from those in the group chat.
I’d see how the bride is with you before pulling out of attending the wedding though.

Theres always someone trying to profit from everyone else, as I’ve seen a few times over the years in hen do group chats!

Don’t bother going all you will hear at the do is the chat … life goes on yours changed children are expensive this they will learn but this toxicity will haunt you and you don’t need it

This is awful.

I couldn't go to a friend's hen party weekend years ago because the cost just got out of hand. Even when I tried reducing the cost like you driving myself there and only staying one night I was still expected to pay the same. It's easy to spend someone else's money. I got a hard time for it because none of them understood that I didn't have the money even though they knew my financial situation.

I remember clearly how someone I didn't know very well absolutely understood and yet my friends didn't.

When I organised a friend's hen party I made a point of not expecting people to fund it. I bought a silly present and people bought the hen a drink.

Tell them once and for all. You cannot afford it and you are not going

She says clearly in her post that the costs have changed since she agreed to go. With things like this people need to be completely transparent about the costs from the outset so people can decide if it's in their budget or not. The fact that the change have now made it out of OP's budget is on them and it is shameful they are embarrassing her.

You are right that she doesn't sound close to them, not surprised, they sound like absolute dicks.