To not go to the hen do?

"my plan was to get dropped off and picked up as it's cheaper (and I've never been away from baby overnight)..." so why would you need a Hotel Room, with or without Random cousin - if you're not staying overnight?

You should just drive yourself. Too expensive to pay someone else. Although I would not get DH or Dad to drive you (unless you don't drive). Just drive yourself.

I'm in agreement with all of the previous.. No way can you call ''the driver" a friend. Any friends worth their salt would respect and understand your situation and would be getting together to help you out. Oh and honestly a proper hen do doesn't cost that much. Around 20 of us chipped in for a friend's joint 50th and hen party last year, a buffet, few bottles of plonk and a couple of rather nice huge beefy butlers for an hour all for slightly over £500.. Is your "friend" hiring The Ritz? lol ..Seriously all the girls here are so right. I'd personally follow their advice and sack them all off. Your true friends will always find a way back to you if they're of any worth at all...Frankly put, they don't sound like friends at all! (Hope this helps) :)

They all sound a bit fed up with you. I wonder what their side of the story is. You should probably not go.

I think you're past attending the hen do or wedding! YANBU. I like @Shodan 's idea.

It sounds like this friendship has come to the end. You've got a baby now, so naturally your priorities have changed. But this, on top of what appears to be your friend's ongoing annoyance at your lateness and general negativity, means you're not really very compatible. She wants easy friends and an easy life. Your chaos spoils that for it. Just let her go. She's not a good friend.

Then maybe that should be discussed?

Hen Dos are supposed to be fun, not a bitchfest

Yeah, that's ludicrous pricing but is she staying sober to drive the others or driving back the morning after once sobered up? Maybe that she's seeing this as her dues for missing out on the drinks and fun.

They sound a bit bitchy tbf but we only have one side of the sorry. If you're always late and she thought she'd sorted that issue, but now you're complicating the matter with unnecessary drama at the last minute I can see why she might be a little short with you. But most likely they're just being bitchy.

That sounds so tedious. I wouldn't want to spend an hour in their company (ever again).

"The petrol thing is a bit wild" - a BIT wild??

£25 x 4 = £100 for 45 mins drive if she has a car load?

Unless it is a stretch limousine that tight-wad hen is driving, then it is more than a "bit wild". It is scamming people who are too wimpy to say No.

Just read your updates.
Yep. They are bitches.

She doesn’t sound like a friend.
It all sounds very mean-girls-esque.
I would definitely back out. Plan a lovely weekend with your little one instead ❤️

Wow. It’s clear exactly which group member you are too!

Nah I'd just pull out of the whole thing

100% this!!!

Perfect response!

@RampantIvy I've read it all.
I just think OP comes across as completely unreliable and they are fed up.
The petrol thing is a bit wild but I just feel there's more to the entire situation

Either you haven't bothered reading the OP's updates or you are one of the hens.

Glad you have decided not to go. You would have been miserable anyway and worried about money. I hate hen dos that last days. The last one I went on there were six of us, the bride just wanted us all to get together and have a few drinks to celebrate. We did a few things as a surprise for her but it didn’t break the bank and we had a wonderful evening.

This!

This is not a court mandated prison sentence ‘This thing has gotten more expensive every month and some of us are on mat leave, I can’t save what I don’t have. My Dh will be driving me down and back.’
and if they are bitches about it
’no one in their right mind would be going away with people who talk about me and to me like that. I’m sorry about your hens <bride> but getting married doesn’t have to mean your friends get treated like shit. I won’t be able to come to the hens. I hope you all have fun.’

Eugh a bridezilla with a gang of bitchy minions. Definitely pull out of it before the requests for more money for matching pyjamas start.

You're not from Staffordshire are you? Haha I know a girl that sounds exactly like the driver. She would do things and arrange things that came across nice but in reality she was a bully. I kept it to myself as I thought everyone liked her. I found out years later everyone felt the same. She would say things but then act innocent when pulled up on it. Remove yourself from these mean girls and enjoy your baby ❤️

Don't let folk speak to you like that. Even though they might have a point in that you have had nine months to save there is still no reason for their bullying and rudeness. Don't go. You've made an effort to compromise and they said no. Tell them to piss off.

How ridiculous to expect people to do all those activities in the current financial climate. Even just one of them would be pricy enough. Tell the bitchy Bridezilla you're not going and spend the money on yourself and your baby