To not go to the hen do?

due to the costs of the hen do increasing substantially after you agreed to it you will be withdrawing.

I think this ^^ is the best response. The clus is in the words "due to the costs of the hen do increasing substantially after you agreed to it"

I wouldn't sat anything in the WA group - I'd block the grabby driver bitch, leave the group then message bridezilla saying that due to the costs of the hen do increasing substantially after you agreed to it you will be withdrawing.

I agree. All those saying to 'respond politely'... fuck that!!
Regardless of whether OP has a thing for being late, real friends do NOT speak to each other like this.
OP, I'd be pulling out and telling them exactly why.

Oh OP, I’m so sorry that you have had this experience. Having a baby is so incredibly expensive and I don’t think you realise quite how much so until you have one! I certainly didn’t!

The cost of weddings and stag/hens is one of my bugbears. When we got married neither of us had one and we asked our friends not to give us gifts. We wanted them to be with us and didn’t want to make any barriers!

WhatsApp so often allows people to say things without understanding how others feel. I would suggest organising a coffee and chatting it through with your friend.

I don’t mean to excuse anything that has been written, but lots of people find organising events stressful. They’re just not used to it. That makes them behave out of character.

Fucking hell, @tiredandtesting123! They don’t deserve to be at your lovely wee baby’s christening. Don’t go to the hen, don’t go to the wedding, don’t go anywhere near those fuckers ever again. You deserve much better.

I agree. Just drop out. She sounds vile.

This!

Oh my goodness OP, I've only just read this and my goodness, get away with your head held high.

You've tried to the right thing but the costs have spiralled and it'll end up costing even more when you're there. When you have a baby, of course your priorities change, and most people will understand why you need to back out. With 20-odd people it's hardly like you're letting the bride down. Back out, wish them a brilliant time, and don't look back.

A mantra for me this year is to prioritise those who prioritise you, and this group of madams are not likely to give two hoots about your feelings. RUN!

I wouldn’t go at all but make sure you leave the group of block then as they sound like straight away they’ll be awful to you.

You’re allowed to make your own choices and I can’t believe they think think they can make you stay the night in a hotel and travel how they want you to when you could get a lift for free!

People really don’t get it when money is tight. Don’t waste your money on this event!

Wow, with friends like that, who needs enemies!? If that's what they're like on the group chat, God knows what they'll be like on the actual hen do!
I'd definitely bail out of this one.

Just to get this straight - the bride has put herself in with the 2 other girls and you with her cousin? Why didn’t she put herself with the cousin? She’s as bad as the driver

definitely pull out!

Op don't go, this isn't how friends treat each other. The frozen desert thing would have been my last straw, I can't believe people can be so horrible.

I hope by now you have left the group and are feeling better to not ever have to deal with these women again!

Surely you will have to pay your share of the hotel as you agreed to that

Sound like a pack of bitches I’d be staying well away from. Amen 🙄

Definitely don't go. You will have an awful time and spend money you can't afford. I'd just say

"Sorry guys I'm going to have to back out as it's a bit out of my price range and Ive my baby to think of. Hope you all have an amazing time, it sounds fantastic so I'm sure you will"

Then leave the group. Don't talk to anyone other than bride and if she gets nasty block her.

That’s beyond super cheeky and I can’t believe everyone else is agreeing to that! £25 would (and does) last me a week to do 12 miles to and from work (about 50 minutes total commute) so 125 miles at least! So that’s £100 total for fuel for 45 min each way journey? That’s at least 3 weeks worth of fuel for me to do daily commute (as above about 125 miles a week) plus any local trips at weekends with the kids.

If you still want to go I’d say, no sorry I’m making my own way. They can’t enforce their plans on you, a grown adult!

Otherwise I’d say, sorry, I can’t budget for a price that keeps increasing. I had the money for the initial cost but can’t afford all these extras so I can’t come anymore. Especially as the cost of living is much higher now and you have a child now too.

Have you told her you're not going, OP?

Don't apologise. State why you are leaving. Then leave.

but do not say sorry

This

They don't doing like friends to me . Their response to your concerns was shitty to say the least .
Explain you cannot attend , block and remove . Find better friends

Wow @tiredandtesting123 even if you could have saved and all that, the whole tone is ‘junior school playground bullies’. It’s horrible! I wouldn’t even speak to someone I don’t like in that way. To be honest, I’d probably say something like ‘Some of the comments on here are very hurtful and not how friends talk to each other. I will transfer the cost of XXX but have decided I will no longer attend. Wishing you the best and hope everything goes well’.

Then drop the money round/transfer it/send a screenshot and leave the group.

It might be a fair chunk of money but honestly, at least you won’t have to spend any time with them, being miserable. They sound bloody awful.

It sounds like OP was basically "forced" to agree to the hotel. She wanted to just go for the DAY and get picked up and taken home to her baby.

In fact, it sounds like she is easily forced to agree to things and is finally getting a backbone.

The bride and her group can find another sucker attendee to take her place, since they all sound so delightful (about as delightful as a root canal with no lidocaine).

I got the idea that it's the bride/hen organizer who "decided" OP should spend the night and gave her a "roomie".

Write this on your "chat group":

"After reviewing my budget and seeing how I don't really have money to spare for frivolous purposes, I am bowing out of the hen do. It's gotten more and more expensive, and it just does not make sense for me to go."

Then, just let the bride know you will not be making the wedding and remove the chat group from your WhatsApp. They sound selfish, grabby and rigid.

Apart from anything, you're not looking forward to it and it's expensive, so don't go. That's the wonderful thing about being an adult woman, you decide what you do and what you don't do.
Don't explain too much either. "Sorry I'm no longer able to make it, it's not working out for me to attend. I've paid for xyz so nobody should be out of pocket. Have a great time!"