Partner turned off (My) wifi and upset my Son - AIBU

Just date non-live-in boyfriends. You don't need a boyfriend to move in with your children. And certainly not one who thinks it's okay to shut off the wifi when your child is engaged with dad. It's your house. Your children. Your rules.

Not well enough to eat, but well enough to play video games? Children need boundaries, and if you are not going to enforce them, then you are raising two more men just like your (ex) partner.

Not well enough to eat, but well enough to play video games? Children need boundaries, and if you are not going to enforce them, then you are raising two more men just like your (ex) partner.

He’s a cock

Really don't think OP is coming back.

Imagine what would happen if he gets his feet under the table for good and then decides you disrespect him!
I bet after the three years of legal cohabitation he wouldn’t think twice about kicking you out of “his” house if you disrespected him!

He’s already proven he wouldn’t call it “ours” let alone “yours”!

I’m going to play devils advocate big time here and say the chances of you loosing yourself (your and your kid’s relationship with their father and potentially all friends and self worth), and ultimately your home to a controlling relationship stand pretty high risk with this dipstick in my view.
He sounds very dangerous (and I mean dangerous) already from one incident based purely on his behaviour in that moment from your description.

Ultimately love is actions not words, doesn’t sound very loving behaviour, if he wants your children to respect you he should show them how by role-modelling this himself.

You deserve love and the time it takes to find that. Most importantly strengthen your support group, if you need any more proof this guys a wrong-en, then you could (for one month unbeknownst to him) make sure he only comes round coinciding with various friends visits instigated by you and see if he starts planting seeds of doubt in your mind about those friends. Have fun with it, mix it up, straight after they leave talk positively about how great each friend is and their beautiful traits, then sit back and see if he responds positively or negatively about “how you feel” for them.

Make sure he doesn’t disrespect you, your parenting and your right to be an individual with your own life, friends, finances, home and support group.

If he’s a good person you won’t have lost anything and hopefully will have helped him create a warm and a supporting atmosphere for your friends to feel welcome in when he’s around.

But very importantly-
If you’re not ready to make a quick, clean getaway (which for me I must say the warning signs support running a mile!) then maybe you could try hitting the “reset” button a little on your relationship…
I suspect he might visibly bulk at the idea of a reset at a point where he thinks he has the keys to your kingdom and children,
could be go back to “best behaviour” and only ever bring out the best in you - if he thinks he controls your kingdom already?

Good luck, and please don’t give him power over your children. You are the only mother they will ever have, god forbid you let someone controlling disrupt that.

Just saying........
If he is your partner and not just your boyfriend, then he should have SOME say in the house rules. If you are going to disagree with him, best not in front of the children - they will pick up and play on it.

But you do need, (if it is not over that is, and for any future relationships) about how respect works both ways, but that his voice does have to be listened to.
He may well have been brought up that mealtimes are family times, and he was a little jealous that DS chose to talk to your EX rather than being part of the family meal?
Did you communicate that you were allowing bending of the rules and why? If not, it would seem that DS was being disrespectful to you, which may have prompted his action? (Not sure that being unwell means playing more games?)

Seems like you were not really into letting him in to your family - MY wifi?

My partner is childless. I have two children (A son who is eleven and a daughter who is seven)

My ex husband moved to take care of his Dad six months ago but before that we had been divorced two years. Exes Dad has cancer and he's alone (Ex is an only child and his Mum died way before I met him) I'd have moved myself and my children to be nearer to ex so they could see each other but Ex was completely adamant they stay where they are for school and their friends.

One of the ways my children communicate with their Dad is through video games. I dont know how it works but they talk to each other while they play. They do this every sunday for a few hours before tea time. Sunday just gone my son wasn't well but really wanted to play games with his dad. I said that was okay and I'd save him some dinner (I made him some eggs and soldiers)

My partner cut the wifi when my son didn't come to the table. His reasoning was my son was being disobedient but I'd told him three times that DS wasn't feeling a hundred percent and I don't force my kids to eat big meals when they are unwell. My son was understandably distraught thinking his Dad had ended the game without saying goodbye and my partner kicked off.

He started ranting and raving how under HIS roof my son should have more respect. I reminded partner that we live in 2024, not 1924 and the house I owned was mine that my Mother left to me.

I ended up kicking my partner out - He went home in a huff and now I'm being put in the middle by partner's Mum saying that I should teach my children respect.

AIBU in thinking it's not my partner's place to parent my children - he's not a live-in boyfriend, we've been together ten months and that his Mum should keep her nose out