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AIBU?

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Original poster

Partner turned off (My) wifi and upset my Son - AIBU

543 replies

candragonsbepurple · 21/03/2024 20:58

My partner is childless. I have two children (A son who is eleven and a daughter who is seven)

My ex husband moved to take care of his Dad six months ago but before that we had been divorced two years. Exes Dad has cancer and he's alone (Ex is an only child and his Mum died way before I met him) I'd have moved myself and my children to be nearer to ex so they could see each other but Ex was completely adamant they stay where they are for school and their friends.

One of the ways my children communicate with their Dad is through video games. I dont know how it works but they talk to each other while they play. They do this every sunday for a few hours before tea time. Sunday just gone my son wasn't well but really wanted to play games with his dad. I said that was okay and I'd save him some dinner (I made him some eggs and soldiers)

My partner cut the wifi when my son didn't come to the table. His reasoning was my son was being disobedient but I'd told him three times that DS wasn't feeling a hundred percent and I don't force my kids to eat big meals when they are unwell. My son was understandably distraught thinking his Dad had ended the game without saying goodbye and my partner kicked off.

He started ranting and raving how under HIS roof my son should have more respect. I reminded partner that we live in 2024, not 1924 and the house I owned was mine that my Mother left to me.

I ended up kicking my partner out - He went home in a huff and now I'm being put in the middle by partner's Mum saying that I should teach my children respect.

AIBU in thinking it's not my partner's place to parent my children - he's not a live-in boyfriend, we've been together ten months and that his Mum should keep her nose out

OP posts:
Elvis1956 · 21/03/2024 21:29

As a man I thought no he's right. Your son should come to the table to eat as a family...then I 're read it that his dad's ill. You're all close.

So I rethink....it's doesn't matter that your kids don't come to your table....they are your kids and if you are ok, then your partner should be ok

CountFucula · 21/03/2024 21:28

Do they own Bates Motel?

Azandme · 21/03/2024 21:26

He just showed you exactly who he is - a controlling, arrogant, arsehole of a man who wants to rule YOUR house and punish YOUR children, and who involves his mum to bring you in line.

Are you going to let him?

Aquamarine1029 · 21/03/2024 21:24

Tell him and his mother to fuck off all the way to the far side. It would be negligent to allow this abusive man to stay in your life. I'd be blocking him immediately.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 21/03/2024 21:23

' HIS roof ' !!!

that says it ALL

seeing as how it's YOUR house !!!

do not let him ever come back, he will persuade you to marry him, then when you get divorced he will take half YOUR house !!!

Itsonlymashadow · 21/03/2024 21:23

And why the fuck are you entertaining his mother at all. She can only put you in the middle if you choose to be.

He is a dick. She has no right to comment on your son. Tell her fuck off as well.

ToWhitToWhoo · 21/03/2024 21:23

Get rid of him! Either he is a nasty authoritarian full stop, or he's jealous of your ex and taking it out on your kids. Or most likely both.

And what does his MUM have to do with it?

Itsonlymashadow · 21/03/2024 21:22

Well he tripped himself up didn’t he.

Was expecting himself to get his feet under YOUR table and that to be his house as well. He really did view it as his house, because his intention was to make it his house.

nothing makes a toaster fall in love in quicker than somewhere to live and assets he thinks he can get his hands on.

Pallisers · 21/03/2024 21:21

Natty13 · 21/03/2024 21:06

"Please don't tell me how to parent Linda, I have spent 10 months with the result of yours and let me tell you, he needs a lot of work"

omg I love this.

Dump him OP. He is flexing his muscles (HIS house indeed!). If you had let him off with this, then he'd know he is in pole position and would be acting the big boss in your house and with your children.

In fairness to his mother, she has a strong vested interest in having him in someone else's house and not hers.

KreedKafer · 21/03/2024 21:21

He’s an abusive cunt and his mother needs to fuck off. Do not let this awful man back into your life.

Anameisaname · 21/03/2024 21:20

Your house. Your rules. Your child.

He doesn't live there and he has no right to do it. End of

WarshipRocinante · 21/03/2024 21:20

He’s not your partner. He is your boyfriend. And he shouldn’t be hanging around your kids yet.
He should also be an ex-bf by now. Stop putting your kids through dealing with shitty men. Next time, keep them separate for longer until you actually know the guy.

EVHead · 21/03/2024 21:20

What an absolute wanker. Under my roof indeed!!!

Him and his mummy can fuck off.

benjoin · 21/03/2024 21:19

Natty13 · 21/03/2024 21:06

"Please don't tell me how to parent Linda, I have spent 10 months with the result of yours and let me tell you, he needs a lot of work"

BUUUUURRNN

Hatty65 · 21/03/2024 21:18

Natty13 · 21/03/2024 21:06

"Please don't tell me how to parent Linda, I have spent 10 months with the result of yours and let me tell you, he needs a lot of work"

OMG send this! It's brilliant.

LemonySnickets · 21/03/2024 21:18

Natty13 · 21/03/2024 21:06

"Please don't tell me how to parent Linda, I have spent 10 months with the result of yours and let me tell you, he needs a lot of work"

😂 Brilliant! I'd be sending this!

Tahinii · 21/03/2024 21:18

Natty13 · 21/03/2024 21:06

"Please don't tell me how to parent Linda, I have spent 10 months with the result of yours and let me tell you, he needs a lot of work"

This is excellent and definitely good to keep note of for the future!

Bubblegummies · 21/03/2024 21:17

Natty13 · 21/03/2024 21:06

"Please don't tell me how to parent Linda, I have spent 10 months with the result of yours and let me tell you, he needs a lot of work"

This ^

good riddance. Well done for kicking him out

User1979289 · 21/03/2024 21:15

Natty13 · 21/03/2024 21:06

"Please don't tell me how to parent Linda, I have spent 10 months with the result of yours and let me tell you, he needs a lot of work"

That is so fucking great 😂

JassyRadlett · 21/03/2024 21:15

He went crying to his Mummy because he thought you were nasty to him?

Yeah, I couldn't share a bed with that again, ever, even without the massive boundary-smashing and the tantrum and how he wants to be able to treat your kids.

Stuckinthemiddle7890 · 21/03/2024 21:14

candragonsbepurple · 21/03/2024 20:58

My partner is childless. I have two children (A son who is eleven and a daughter who is seven)

My ex husband moved to take care of his Dad six months ago but before that we had been divorced two years. Exes Dad has cancer and he's alone (Ex is an only child and his Mum died way before I met him) I'd have moved myself and my children to be nearer to ex so they could see each other but Ex was completely adamant they stay where they are for school and their friends.

One of the ways my children communicate with their Dad is through video games. I dont know how it works but they talk to each other while they play. They do this every sunday for a few hours before tea time. Sunday just gone my son wasn't well but really wanted to play games with his dad. I said that was okay and I'd save him some dinner (I made him some eggs and soldiers)

My partner cut the wifi when my son didn't come to the table. His reasoning was my son was being disobedient but I'd told him three times that DS wasn't feeling a hundred percent and I don't force my kids to eat big meals when they are unwell. My son was understandably distraught thinking his Dad had ended the game without saying goodbye and my partner kicked off.

He started ranting and raving how under HIS roof my son should have more respect. I reminded partner that we live in 2024, not 1924 and the house I owned was mine that my Mother left to me.

I ended up kicking my partner out - He went home in a huff and now I'm being put in the middle by partner's Mum saying that I should teach my children respect.

AIBU in thinking it's not my partner's place to parent my children - he's not a live-in boyfriend, we've been together ten months and that his Mum should keep her nose out

Op youre not in the middle... youre where your son is.. and your son did nothing wrong and any attack on him is an attack on you. You protect your children at all costs. Firstly (not that it matters) but your son wasn't being disobedient. You told him he could play games , he was spending time with his father in addition to this. Even if your partner was mad.. what the hell has it got to do with his mother ?? What a nasty nasty woman she sounds! Op please see the red flags and you really don't need mumset to tell you this. get rid now before he moves in or you have kids together and then you will really struggle to get him out your house if you wanted at a later date. Your son is your priority not a man! Don't accept mild apologies or it wony happen again. Ppl like this don't change. They just say the minimum to get past it all and then slowly the poor behaviour comes thru again.

TheChippendenSpook · 21/03/2024 21:13

Your poor son! I hope you've got rid of the dickhesd for good.

MissUltraViolet · 21/03/2024 21:13

Yuck, keep him out.

Only thing you did wrong is wait too long. You should have kicked him out at the dinner table when he turned YOUR wifi off in YOUR home and tried to dictate his rules to YOUR child even after you explained what was happening.

Easipeelerie · 21/03/2024 21:13

Natty13 · 21/03/2024 21:06

"Please don't tell me how to parent Linda, I have spent 10 months with the result of yours and let me tell you, he needs a lot of work"

Brilliant. You have to send this.

femfemlicious · 21/03/2024 21:12

Natty13 · 21/03/2024 21:06

"Please don't tell me how to parent Linda, I have spent 10 months with the result of yours and let me tell you, he needs a lot of work"

😯?. Is this the partner?