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AIBU?

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Original poster

Partner turned off (My) wifi and upset my Son - AIBU

543 replies

candragonsbepurple · 21/03/2024 20:58

My partner is childless. I have two children (A son who is eleven and a daughter who is seven)

My ex husband moved to take care of his Dad six months ago but before that we had been divorced two years. Exes Dad has cancer and he's alone (Ex is an only child and his Mum died way before I met him) I'd have moved myself and my children to be nearer to ex so they could see each other but Ex was completely adamant they stay where they are for school and their friends.

One of the ways my children communicate with their Dad is through video games. I dont know how it works but they talk to each other while they play. They do this every sunday for a few hours before tea time. Sunday just gone my son wasn't well but really wanted to play games with his dad. I said that was okay and I'd save him some dinner (I made him some eggs and soldiers)

My partner cut the wifi when my son didn't come to the table. His reasoning was my son was being disobedient but I'd told him three times that DS wasn't feeling a hundred percent and I don't force my kids to eat big meals when they are unwell. My son was understandably distraught thinking his Dad had ended the game without saying goodbye and my partner kicked off.

He started ranting and raving how under HIS roof my son should have more respect. I reminded partner that we live in 2024, not 1924 and the house I owned was mine that my Mother left to me.

I ended up kicking my partner out - He went home in a huff and now I'm being put in the middle by partner's Mum saying that I should teach my children respect.

AIBU in thinking it's not my partner's place to parent my children - he's not a live-in boyfriend, we've been together ten months and that his Mum should keep her nose out

OP posts:
Ageisjustanumb3r · 21/03/2024 23:01

Not read replies but u asking if concerning .

TrainedByCatsToBeScathing · 21/03/2024 22:58

full set of red bunting with this one.

ignoring you
disciplining bullying your son
ranting when he’s called out on something
laying claim to your property
interfering with your children’s relationship with their father
getting his mum involved

LTB

WandaWonder · 21/03/2024 22:56

You are the one in control of who you have in your childs life (yes like the ex but this is from the OP viewpoint) make better choices

muggart · 21/03/2024 22:56

This is so weird I'd go as far as to say it doesn't add up. Was your son rude to him and perhaps you didn't hear? Did he think he was doing you a favour by forcing your kid to stop gaming?

The 'under my roof' comment is so cringey, I would struggle to forget that.

GRex · 21/03/2024 22:53

You've just seen the thin end of the wedge with his desire to discipline your children and be master over you in your own home. Pack any of his stuff, dump it outside his mum's and never let him back in.

Grimchmas · 21/03/2024 22:50

Good on you for kicking your partner out and a great big fuck you to his mother, of who's business this is nothing!

BreakingAndBroke · 21/03/2024 22:48

"Under my roof" is a very odd thing to say when you are in somebody else's house!

I think you were right to call him out on it and get him to leave and calm down.

None of it has anything to do with his mum, and arguably your child was being far less disrespectful than hers!

LakeTiticaca · 21/03/2024 22:46

Do not allow this prick back anywhere near your children. This is the start. It will escalate. He's a walking red flag

PlumbersWifey · 21/03/2024 22:46

Woah you need to get rid of him!! Nasty man. As a mum, how can you contemplate being with someone who upsets your son?

StSwithinsDay · 21/03/2024 22:45

*Sid077 · Today 21:59

You did exactly the right thing. Ignore his mother, like who gets their Mam involved in their relationship of 10 months 🙄. You dodged a bullet with this one, throw him back.*

The op has involved her own children who are 11 and 7 in her relationship of 10 months. That's worse imo.

Mombie · 21/03/2024 22:43

He has overstepped so far, something tells me that he was trying to make a point to DS dad. How dare he interfere with their communication like that?
Do u really need him or his mum adding unnecessary stress to your children’s life? Tell them both to piss off.

Noseybookworm · 21/03/2024 22:42

candragonsbepurple · 21/03/2024 20:58

My partner is childless. I have two children (A son who is eleven and a daughter who is seven)

My ex husband moved to take care of his Dad six months ago but before that we had been divorced two years. Exes Dad has cancer and he's alone (Ex is an only child and his Mum died way before I met him) I'd have moved myself and my children to be nearer to ex so they could see each other but Ex was completely adamant they stay where they are for school and their friends.

One of the ways my children communicate with their Dad is through video games. I dont know how it works but they talk to each other while they play. They do this every sunday for a few hours before tea time. Sunday just gone my son wasn't well but really wanted to play games with his dad. I said that was okay and I'd save him some dinner (I made him some eggs and soldiers)

My partner cut the wifi when my son didn't come to the table. His reasoning was my son was being disobedient but I'd told him three times that DS wasn't feeling a hundred percent and I don't force my kids to eat big meals when they are unwell. My son was understandably distraught thinking his Dad had ended the game without saying goodbye and my partner kicked off.

He started ranting and raving how under HIS roof my son should have more respect. I reminded partner that we live in 2024, not 1924 and the house I owned was mine that my Mother left to me.

I ended up kicking my partner out - He went home in a huff and now I'm being put in the middle by partner's Mum saying that I should teach my children respect.

AIBU in thinking it's not my partner's place to parent my children - he's not a live-in boyfriend, we've been together ten months and that his Mum should keep her nose out

Why was your partner ranting about how your son should behave under his roof when it's your house and he doesn't even live there?

Angelsrose · 21/03/2024 22:42

I'm so pleased to read that the op acted decisively to protect her children. Well done and don't let your partner back. Who on earth does he think he is???

JPGR · 21/03/2024 22:41

FannyFifer · 21/03/2024 21:02

Never ever choose a man over the wellbeing of your children.
Make that the end of your relationship & thank your lucky stars you don't have children with him.

This. Please put your children first. This man is a bully.

Purplepeoniesdroppingpetals · 21/03/2024 22:38

He is a treat isn’t he?! Leave him kicked out.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 21/03/2024 22:31

Noicant · 21/03/2024 21:06

Also this is why you shouldn’t be having men around your children. Sorry OP, I’m not putting the boot in here but he shouldn’t be anywhere near your kids at ten months.

Agreed, he should never have been given the opportunity to behave like this

Topseyt123 · 21/03/2024 22:29

What a wanker!! Who the fuck does he think he is trying to claim YOUR house as being under HIS roof! Twat!!

Don't let him come back. And block both him and his ridiculous mummy. The apple clearly hasn't fallen far from the tree there.

Picklestop · 21/03/2024 22:28

Well I was going to say, your partner is entitled to have some house rules in his own home. But then I read the bit about not living together and ten months, why on earth are you calling him a partner! Hopefully he is an ex boyfriend now.

MiltonNorthern · 21/03/2024 22:14

You have to ask????
Who the fuck does this prick think he is, and why are you talking to his stupid enabling mother?

FirstTime867 · 21/03/2024 22:13

How the fuck did he decide it was HIS house? What a lover. Dump him. NOW.

At least he showed you what an arsehole he is now, rather than after you moved him in.

Soubriquet · 21/03/2024 22:12

Good on you for sticking up for your son. Your hopefully ex partner seems to think whatever you own is his. I bet it will go if you ever choose to get married as what’s yours is his and what’s his is his

Herdinggoats · 21/03/2024 22:11

I think you need to read a little more into what his mum is saying. I don’t think she thinks he is right, I think she is shitting herself that if you don’t take him back he’s going to end up living with her.

I’d guess she’s trying to make you second guess yourself so she doesn’t end up with the prick living with her.

StripeyDeckchair · 21/03/2024 22:11

I would ditch him for interfering in how i parent my children & affecting their relationship with their Dad.

i would get the major ick from an adult man involving their mum in a disagreement with their partner & ditch them for that too. Immature

KitKatChunki · 21/03/2024 22:10

No, your kids, your house, your wifi.
He needs to respect they were here before him and consult you before doing any rash "parenting".
Had this from an ex myself when he kept saying I didn't make a stand with him against my kid - point is I shouldn't have to. Stop making everything divisive and being childish and start talking rather than being a dick. It's so obvious when they've not got kids they think parenting is just being nasty and having a power trip. Usually makes them look more childish than the actual child.

hellsBells246 · 21/03/2024 22:06

Ten months??? Yet he and his mum are sticking their noses in about how you parent IN YOUR HOUSE???

Nah. He's a cheeky cock. Dump him - and his mum.