Partner turned off (My) wifi and upset my Son - AIBU

He demands respect?

This is your chance to pack any belongings of his that you find in your house, pack them in a bin bag, and throw them out on the pavement.

Change your locks and tell him you're dumping him, and his stuff is outside. Then block him.

He's done you the huge favour of showing you exactly who he is.

Don't try talking yourself into keeping this relationship going.

Put your kids first or your relationship with them will be damaged forever. It's hard being alone but please don't move someone in so fast again. Your children's home needs to be their safe place. And I say this as a single mum.

You aren't being put in the middle. You are a mother. It is your responsibility to raise and protect your children. This includes not bringing other adults into their lives who could do them harm. Physically or emotionally. After only 10 months, this man should never have felt close or comfortable enough to attempt to parent your children. You need to put better boundaries in place from the start.

@candragonsbepurple you sound like a lovely mum. You put your son first. Now keep doing that and make that nasty piece of work your ex partner.
you do realise this isn’t just a bad decision on his part or a difference in how kids should behave.
he actively did this to hurt your son. I can promise you this is sheer nasty behaviour and he doesn’t like your son and this episode will be repeated in another form and it will escalate.

The arrogance of a man who hasn’t been with you for a year, in your house that you own, ranting about ‘under his roof’. In the bin with him.

Your house , your children, your rules. I can’t believe you came on here to ask .

God, who knew 1 post could reveal so much wrong with 1 person. I counted at least 5 separate reasons for binning him.

Mothers have so much power over who is allowed to have power over their children. He does not sound like potential stepdad material. I'd be rethinking whether he is worth the hassle. Imagine it really was his home and he had more power over you and your kids - honestly I think that might be a bit of a nightmare.

His mum said what?no lady-YOU are not at the middle of things.
make it the end.
your kids your house. the END

His mother should teach her son about respect. You did the right thing here. He caused unneeded stress and upset to your son who was doing something you'd agreed to. And then your partner threw a tantrum.

This is how it starts, the control over you and your children and if you’d accepted it it would have just carried on. He doesn’t live with you, it’s yours and your children’s home and you’ve not been with him long how dare he?! Please keep him as your EX for your children’s sake

I see his point from his point of view. BUT they are your children not his. If he can't manage that, then it isn't going to work you.

I agree "under my roof" is a dangerous path to start going down for all of you. Its on the Power and Control wheel for a reason.

He sounds really unpleasant. Sounds like you've had a lucky escape, finding out what a knobhead he is before you got more involved with him.

I am now wondering.....

are there cultural issues here?

He is a MAN and therefore wherever he is, he assumes he is in charge. And his mother is giving you shit and you feel that you need to appease her....

Are you from a culture where telling a man to get fucking bent, and telling his mother to mind her own fucking business and not yours, is not ok?

HIS roof but he doesn’t even live there?. Get rid of him, he’s a dick!.

Get rid of this bellend, stop bringing men around your children after only 5 mins and do some work on your self esteem.

10 months in, dont live together and he took it upon himself to do that in your home?

How fucking DARE he?!

The fact that you havent blocked him and his fucking mother is utterly shocking. You are not "stuck" anywhere. Tell them both to fuck off.

And dont let anyone near your kids or your home in such a short time again.

And on my third thread of the day I'm asking why the fuck your partner has met your kids when you've not even known him a year!

He's a bullying twat, he can get to fuck. Bullet dodged OP, hope his Mum is being informed that he is now an ex.

How is he, after 10 months of dating, considering your house to be’under his roof’ 😂😢🤔.

You would only be unreasonable if you let him back. This is a one and your done kinda offence, surely.

OP please please don't let this man back in.

It sounds like you and your ex coparent effectively and maintain a good relationship, based on the fact you were willing to move closer and the fact he put consistency for your son above all that.

This is really positive. Having loving parents who are on the same page (even if not together) is such a strong protective factor for so many issues.

Then playing games together sounds lovely. I do the same with my siblings. We play while chatting. It's nice because they're doing an activity they enjoy together while catching up. It's likely, especially as he goes into teenage years, that your son will use these opportunities to speak with his dad about difficult or embarrassing topics (in the same way some find being in the car is less pressured). I'd really push to continue this. It's easy, simple, quality time that can be done from anywhere.

It's so good they have that and I'm so upset thinking of your son believing his dad stopped it.

I'm glad you kicked your boyfriend out but I'm concerned that you're posting on here and therefore perhaps having doubts. I really am not one to shout "LTB" but this new man is treating your son appallingly.

Under his roof? It's quite literally your roof, for a start. But also it's your child and your parenting. All parenting issues are between you and the child's dad. He is completely overstepping by going against what you have decided and thinking it's appropriate to punish your son against your wishes.

Frankly, if the way you parent does not align with his expectations then his only choice is to leave. He does not get to overrule you.

How dare he? I'm actually horrified that he already feels comfortable enough to do this and it is 100% going to get worse (trust me).

As this gets worse your relationship with your son will worsen. Protect him from this man. There is nothing good down this road and your son needs his mum to protect him from people like this.

Do not let this man back in your lives in any way. Show your son that you will always have his back and never let a boyfriend treat him that way. Show him, through your actions, what is acceptable and unacceptable in a relationship.

He is at such an important age. There is plenty of time in future for you to find a new relationship. Your son sounds like he has a really good family situation at the moment and a strong relationship with each of his parents.

Please don't throw it away for a man who you have known for such a short time who removes your sons access to his own father against your explicit wishes in your own home.

lol "his roof." Tell him nice try!

Ha ha his mum is worried she'll be stuck with him if you don't take him back - block her, block him,and start thinking about what you want, not the wants and needs of other men who were or want to be in your life, controlling you.

Your DC come first!

He went home in a huff and now I'm being put in the middle by partner's Mum saying that I should teach my children respect.

I hope you pointed out clearly to her that this is a bit rich coming from her seeing she clearly hasn't taught her son any respect.