Partner turned off (My) wifi and upset my Son - AIBU

@ladykale this man is not a step parent, he has clearly been moved in after less than ten months of dating, which is appalling, and no discipline is needed. The kid was ill, it was egg and toast, no big deal, and he was having contact with his father.

This is a young lad that is missing his dad, as dad moved away to provide care for a ill grandfather. I think messaging and sharing game time with his dad is understandable. I don't think this is the time to be all "rules are rules", some understanding and comfort are needed here, not his mother's boyfriend going all silverback gorilla. This lad is probably a bit scared about the changes in his life, dad has moved away and grandfather is unwell I think it's understandable that he's not himself and upset.

@Whatevershallidowithmylife I bet he wasn't trying to contact his dad at that exact point - like many kids his age, he just couldn't be bothered to come to the dining table!!

This particular man sounds like a waste of time truthfully and can women STOP MOVING MEN IN AFTER 10 MONTHS!!! Ridiculous,

But the above point applies about poor boundaries and discipline I see due to weak parenting frankly...

How is it in your kids best interests to have some bloke you've been dating for a few months moved in to their home?
Do better. No need to inflict this specimen on them again.

LOL, you got shown up so now you're trying to say you meant something different. You know leave doesn't necessarily mean physically leave the house and that's not what you were originally trying to say anyway.

Have a different opinion.

This is why kids are so poorly disciplined these days & it was a proportionate response to a child refusing to come to the dining table.

When I was a child we weren't forced to eat, but you would come to join the family at the dining table out of respect for the effort that had gone into making the meal and also that was the only family time of the day.

In this scenario what is the appropriate discipline method?

So many badly behaved children but with separated parents and a step parent who isn't allowed to discipline them, and then a primary care giver (often mum) who lets the kids do what they want and panders to them!

Hope he enjoys living with his Mummy forever.
please don’t entertain letting him back in to your lives.

Which is also contact with his dad.

You’re telling the OP to leave and get out. If you’d actually read the post properly you would be aware that it’s her house. No need to get rude and defensive

Raise the bar for yourself and your children! 10 months in I would only be thinking of introducing to kids, never mind tolerating this attitude- he would be an ex by now!

tell the pair of them to jog on an LTB. Your poor son :(

Yes I have. Man unilaterally decides to punish a child who's not his own, overrides the mother, and claims it's his house and he's in charge.

I lived with an abusive stepfather and it started just like this.

FO with your 'good grief.'

Well done choosing your son over this man. Your relationship with your son and his well being will always be better for it, even if he doesn’t remember this episode. As others have said, this is the tip of the iceberg and only the beginning of this man’s controlling behaviour. He also let his truly let his colours show when he referred to your family home (from your mother no less!!) as HIS house!

Well done. You should feel proud of yourself for how you handled this.

Not necessarily and not his problem anyway

I think the fact you’ve had a call from his mother (🙄) would mean they have a very strong relationship. That in itself can cause problems if she feels she is part of your relationship. Worse still if her son shares that view.

I’m assuming he’s living with her. (If he’s not - even more weird she ringing to give you un-solicited advice and leaping to her adult son’s defence!)

If he/she starts getting nasty with you you can always throw in something along the lines of - when you need advice on how to raise your kids by a childless (however old) who still lives with his mother you’ll let them know.

What has probably happened is he’s mentioned your kids and told her it annoys him when x, y and z - she’s put in her ‘input’ and told him to assert his authority so he’s had the added pressure or his mother dictating how he acts towards your kids. The one thing of course they’re forgetting is they are your kids and it is your house.

Yeesh can you imagine him always involving his mum in arguments and life decisions? She’d probably become a permanent fixture in spirit if not in presence- he may expect her to move in as she gets older and IT’S HIS HOUSE TOO! 😱😱😱😱 yeah think on that if you’re wavering OP. As someone else said you’re so lucky he’s done this relatively early on! Never let him or his mum darken your door or phone line again!

He’s horrible, don’t put up with it.

Sorry but I would have died laughing then pulled myself together whilst ushering him out of my life in a bemused fashion. Bless.

Partner's Mum saying that I should teach my children respect.

I would be inclined to ask why she never taught her son respect, Who goes into someone else's home and berates someone else's children? How is that respectful? You have dodged a giant bullet there OP, imagine how much worse he would be if he lived in your home, or god forbid how he would treat your children if you have a child together?

What a controlling dick. I feel very sorry for your children and I hope you've made the right decision of apologising to them for having brought that idiot into their lives

Out he goes and out he stays.

And in the future, don't move men in when you barely know them. For one thing, you're a magnet for cocklodger types anyway because you own your own home. They fall in love fast, get their feet under the table, contribute very little and then start laying down the law.
And secondly, it's your children's home and they shouldn't be having to share it with someone they don't know. There's no need for a "partner" of 10 months or even 2 or 3 years to be moving in to your children's home and causing instability. You can have a fulfilling relationship with someone without that. And if, over several years, it goes well and he turns out to be a decent bloke and the children get on well with him, you could consider living together.
Not with this asshole though - definitely not with him, ever!

Have you actually read any of the post? Good grief

Under my roof???
OP get rid of him NOW.

I have not read the full thread but hopefully this man will be out of your life. I would worry how he would behave around my children if I wasn’t there. Children should in my opinion always come first. He doesn’t get to dictate. Your house, your rules. Tell his mother to do one too. They have shown you who they are, now get rid pronto!

He was playing the game with his dad wasn’t he? It makes no difference, that man is a nobody to the child and has as much right to dictate to him as I have.

He and his mother are wearing massive red flags around them and should be permanently kicked to the kerb.