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AIBU?

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Original poster

Partner turned off (My) wifi and upset my Son - AIBU

543 replies

candragonsbepurple · 21/03/2024 20:58

My partner is childless. I have two children (A son who is eleven and a daughter who is seven)

My ex husband moved to take care of his Dad six months ago but before that we had been divorced two years. Exes Dad has cancer and he's alone (Ex is an only child and his Mum died way before I met him) I'd have moved myself and my children to be nearer to ex so they could see each other but Ex was completely adamant they stay where they are for school and their friends.

One of the ways my children communicate with their Dad is through video games. I dont know how it works but they talk to each other while they play. They do this every sunday for a few hours before tea time. Sunday just gone my son wasn't well but really wanted to play games with his dad. I said that was okay and I'd save him some dinner (I made him some eggs and soldiers)

My partner cut the wifi when my son didn't come to the table. His reasoning was my son was being disobedient but I'd told him three times that DS wasn't feeling a hundred percent and I don't force my kids to eat big meals when they are unwell. My son was understandably distraught thinking his Dad had ended the game without saying goodbye and my partner kicked off.

He started ranting and raving how under HIS roof my son should have more respect. I reminded partner that we live in 2024, not 1924 and the house I owned was mine that my Mother left to me.

I ended up kicking my partner out - He went home in a huff and now I'm being put in the middle by partner's Mum saying that I should teach my children respect.

AIBU in thinking it's not my partner's place to parent my children - he's not a live-in boyfriend, we've been together ten months and that his Mum should keep her nose out

OP posts:
whyismysoupcold · 22/03/2024 11:35

Natty13 · 21/03/2024 21:06

"Please don't tell me how to parent Linda, I have spent 10 months with the result of yours and let me tell you, he needs a lot of work"

I think this is the most perfect response I have ever read on a MN thread 😂

I'm so glad you kicked him out, OP. I hope he's not coming back!

DramaLlamaBangBang · 22/03/2024 11:31

Noicant · 21/03/2024 21:04

HIS house is it? Just get rid, he’s a waste of space. His mum just doesn’t want him back, her son sounds like an utter loser and she’s either a) trying to foist him off on you b) trying to make sure he’s taken care of the way she would. Honestly never ever let him back in.

Especially when it's not even his house! What a cheek! He's trying to get his feet under your table!

ArrrMeHearties · 22/03/2024 11:30

He's a dick and you did the right thing with kicking him out. You had an understanding with your ds and he's tried to be billy big balls and it's not worked and he's took the huff

TeaGinandFags · 22/03/2024 11:29

So, he wants to go all old fadhioned on you?

Your ex husband is obviously there for his children so he can explain mzno a mano to your STBX why he and his mum need to keep their distance on a permenant basis.

Show both the boyfriend and his mum the requisite amount of respect by telling her to mind her own and him that under your roof he minds his ps and qs.

He should also never darken your doorstep again. He's already claimed your house as his so he will not stop until he controls all that you have, including yourself. Bin him.

Xenia · 22/03/2024 11:27

He sounds awful and it is one reason I never moved any man into my house after my divorce and never will. My house. My money. my children. My decisions.

swimsong · 22/03/2024 11:25

Zodfa · 22/03/2024 09:41

He's overstepped the bounds of his authority but I can see where he's coming from. One should be inclined to suspect that an 11-year-old who is too poorly to join the family for dinner but well enough to play social videogames may be trying it on.

What 'authority' do you think he should have?

The boy was spending quality time with his dad, not just playing social video games ffs.

Are you the mum?

ToWhitToWhoo · 22/03/2024 11:25

PS: The bloody cheek of his mum telling you that you should teach your son respect, when she failed so spectacularly in teaching HER son respect

DottieMoon · 22/03/2024 11:25

Obeast · 22/03/2024 11:10

@DottieMoon what 'dh'? This is a very new boyfriend.

Meant to put DP

sausagepastapot · 22/03/2024 11:24

The dickhead partner sounds like an absolute cock. Red flag red flag red flag.

Brefugee · 22/03/2024 11:24

pity OP hasn't been back.
I ended up kicking my partner out - He went home in a huff and now I'm being put in the middle by partner's Mum saying that I should teach my children respect.

roffle - I'd be telling partner's mum (because she made contact, it goes for his dad too) that she did a poor job of teaching her son respect in another person's house. And leave it at that.

swimsong · 22/03/2024 11:20

Toothbrushh · 21/03/2024 20:59

He’s a cock

He's a cock
He's a cock lodger
Cock cock ... cock lodger

(To the tune of Rock Lobster by the B52s)

Sedgwick · 22/03/2024 11:16

What a horrible man and the cheek of his mum!

@candragonsbepurple your mother left you that house, this gives you and your children security, do not disrespect this by being with such a horrible man.

Please end it with him. It’s a no brainier.

KT1112 · 22/03/2024 11:12

Toothbrushh · 21/03/2024 20:59

He’s a cock

yeah this is the only comment needed really. he is out of line and well done you for sending him packing. your children will remember you had their back

Obeast · 22/03/2024 11:10

@DottieMoon what 'dh'? This is a very new boyfriend.

Fixerupper77 · 22/03/2024 11:06

My mum moved my stepdad in quite quickly and he also did similar power grabbing shit. He used to bang on about turning the PC off AT THE WALL. So one day I turned it off at the wall as well as every other switch in the room.
When I came down he had taken the computer and hidden it.
A grown arse man playing power games with a child.

It was the first indicator of many and my relationship with my mum became SO damaged and took years to repair as an adult at her never ever putting us before her boyfriend.

Vive42 · 22/03/2024 11:04

cheesedome · 21/03/2024 21:05

Wtf is his mum getting involved for?! Pair of wankers

She wants shot of him as well!

it’s obvious!!

DottieMoon · 22/03/2024 11:01

You have 100% done the right thing! So glad you have let this man control and dictate how your children under your roof, well done. Your child did nothing wrong, you Dh sounds like a controlling bully.

WTF is his mum doing getting involved? Sounds like you have dodged a bullet.

SheepAndSword · 22/03/2024 11:01

Blimey, bloke and his mum really think they've got their feet under the table

cleanasawhistle · 22/03/2024 10:56

So after 10 months your boyfriend and his mummy think they have the right to tell you how to raise your kids

Another take on this.....my stepfather controlled every phone call and contact with my dad

CutthroatDruTheViolent · 22/03/2024 10:56

He sounds horrible and you're right.

Britpop123 · 22/03/2024 10:55

During lockdown my kids had to isolate with their mum for a few months. We did online gaming every night as a way to stay connected. It must be horrible for both your son and his dad to be apart and that connection, social activity, and chat is really valuable to them both.

mine still refer fondly to those games and sessions.

your current partner is an arse

Lifesd · 22/03/2024 10:51

Thank god you did kick him out! Tell his mother to fuck off and prioritise your kids - disgrace of a man.

Obeast · 22/03/2024 10:50

@ladykale it says his in the OP that the new boyfriend cutting off OPs WiFi meant the child was upset thinking his father had left without saying goodbye. Did you not read the OP? You've written a lot of incorrect stuff.

MaloneMeadow · 22/03/2024 10:46

jengachampion · 22/03/2024 10:38

LOL, you got shown up so now you're trying to say you meant something different. You know leave doesn't necessarily mean physically leave the house and that's not what you were originally trying to say anyway.

Show quote history

How do you know what I was trying to say when I literally just asked if you’d read the thread properly? I’m not the one getting defensive and making childish assumptions, you are.

RickyGervaislovesdogs · 22/03/2024 10:43

Saymyname28 · 21/03/2024 21:02

Fuck me . Sounds like you've had a lucky escape only wasting 10 months on this nob. Using "under my roof" is a dick move. Especially when it's not even his house 😂

It’s actually comical isn’t it. “My roof”. 😆

You did the right thing OP and thank GOD! your partner doesn’t own the home eh?

Respect is important, but the child was unwell and I wouldn’t force a child to eat food if sick either. I’d encourage them and ask if there’s anything they fancy, but leave them to it. Leave them quiet and let them recover. If your child was busy playing with their dad, that’s for you and the dad to monitor. Billy big balls needs to keep his snout out.