To dislike men who seek out foreign brides

I hardly think it's me who views them as merchandise.

So if it’s a website within the U.K., it’s for dating women but if it’s a website outside the U.K., it is shopping for a woman. You disgust me in how you view foreign women as merchandise. I thought that sort of viewpoint regarding foreign women died out with the slave trade.

There was a lovely website linked earlier in the thread, you can shop around for a bride of any age, from any country. But sure, no proof. None at all.

Well, everyone who marries does so intentionally otherwise it is a forced marriage. You have no proof that any men intend to marry only a foreign woman.

I wasn’t taken advantage of. Yes some women are taken advantage of by abusive men, but with 3 British women being killed by their British man every week, I don’t think you have the high ground here to claim that it’s men marrying foreign women that are the problem.

Have I ever said "all men who marry foreign wives do this"? Have I ever said that? This is a thread about men who intentionally do it. It's not about anyone else. Don't project.

Where is your proof that all men who marry foreign wives do this? There isn’t any. This discussion is about the men and women who marry where the man happens to be from a richer country than the woman’s country. That includes me.

You don’t want to hear my voice as one of those women IRL because it doesn’t suit your imaginative, dystopian narrative.

So you're fine with a man only recognizing poverty when he wishes to take advantage of young women? Really?
If I did have a checklist, #1 absolutely would be "does not exploit impoverished women". I don't think that should be controversial.

What does that have to do with finding a life partner? Do you have some sort of checklist that a man must meet in order to get your approval to marry a foreign woman?

-Does he give donations to UNICEF

what else?

Do these men care about poverty in other countries when there's not a pretty young woman in it for them?

It is not bullying to reject male affection.

In most cases she is making that choice. You haven’t been paying attention to the poverty rates, the hundreds dying every week due to lack of access to healthcare, or the fact that working class women have extremely limited opportunities.

@ahugga

Council rent ? They have to have a certain income before their bride can come here as they have to prove they can support her and yes lots of men do build houses abroad plus a uk state pension goes far in far eastern countries. Most of these old man also gave private pensions too plus a property

I would be interested to see these statistics. They aren’t rare in my family, nor my husband’s.

I think your entitlement is off the charts. You think you can dictate who is desirable and who they can match with.

Somebody else posted that they thought a lot of the animosity was due to these men 'cheating the system' and circumventing 'the rules'.

I think they might have a point.

Yes. Until they sort out their personality and entitlement issues, they can stay single.

A working class woman from the uk isn’t making a choice between a life of poverty, with no access to health care, or opportunities though is she ? She’s making a lifestyle decision to marry a man with greater wealth. I would judge a western woman that decided to pursue a rich bloke, instead of the many other opportunities available to her.
A woman from a poor country is making the least worst decision, not at all comparable and not what this thread is about.

"We don't want these men with nothing to offer thanks."

So we insist our rejects must live lives without love, companionship and sex.

The school bullies have returned to the thread.

Funny how all these men can find "love" only with attractive, young women.

Even funnier how some of them (from South America for example) are only 18/19.

Funny how we talk about choices on one hand and on the other describe abysmal conditions. Is that real choice?

Funny how these men are described as "decent, respectful " non mysoginistic men.

It's fucking hilarious really.

My former MIL was from an Asian country and met and older English man who live bombed her. They got married quickly and had three kids in quick succession. In that period of time he became more controlling and insisted they move to the UK- without her teen sons.

Looking in, I'm sure people saw a mutually agreeable situation. However, one they were in the uk he had become all-out abusive. She was completely isolated and put up with it for her kids' sake. Until the day she walked in on him doing something to their 6 week old baby.

She walked straight out with all the kids loaded in one pushchair and managed to get help. She ended up building a life for herself.

It transpired that he was part of a network of paedophiles with an interest in Asian children.

My ex MIL happens to be a very strong, amazing woman. I don't know what the average woman in her position would have done.

Did your DH travel the world with the sole intention of buying access to you? No? Then we're not talking about you. Stop making the discussion about things it is not about.

Women don't seem to mind marrying older men.

In most cases, they do.

Large age gaps are statistically quite rare. Most women marry men within about 5 years of their own age. A man will usually need to have something special, often but not always money, to attract a much younger wife. That is why, as I said above, you don't see lots of young Norwegian or Swiss women marrying much older foreign men.

Possessive? I was using "our" (notice the quotation marks) to be concise. We don't want these men with nothing to offer thanks.

I was using hyperbole to illustrate a point. Inadvertently summoned the patron Saint of pensioners. I will learn eventually.

I agree. It's as if people can't possibly believe that these poor, meek downtrodden little Asian women could possibly have any agency over their own futures and make decisions for themselves. It is xenophobic, insulting and patronising. Yet when the table as turned, as in your situation, no-one makes any of the same assumptions about you, or your motivations.