To dislike men who seek out foreign brides

These type of 'relationships' in a way sort of show the most extreme end of things. Women from every single walk of life can experience coercion and abusive treatment in relationships with men whom they're otherwise equal to in all other ways be it background, career etc. Many women who choose to pursue or enter these types outwardly transactional relationships do so out of huge necessity, of course they wouldn't look twice at Dave from accounts in any other context. But as is almost always the case people are looking at the symptoms of a wider issue. Sometimes when women talk about how they couldn't imagine being away from their dc for a night or two thus won't attend a wedding or whatever, I'm reminded of pretty much most 1st gen African mothers who quite literally left everything they knew to be their lives including their young kids to fly to a different continent to take up work in very unforgiving industries.
That's not to say it should be a race to the bottom but I think some people for reasons not of their own making aren't able to view things through any lens which doesn't fit a certain worldview.

I agree it is exploitative as for the women it is often their only route out of poverty and to help their family.
Having to have sex with someone when you really don’t want to is utterly soul destroying and a little bit of you dies.
Not exactly the same but I always look at Trump’s wife and wonder is the wealth worth sharing a bed with such a monstrosity. I also wonder if she would be too scared to leave if she wanted to.

"Whilst I don’t necessarily think it’s something to celebrate, is it that different to how relationships work generally? Men trade on their money and women trade on their looks. That’s why old broke men don’t date 25 year olds, but old rich men do.."

100% this. Lots of marriages are mutually transactional. And you do sometimes get rich older women marrying hot , poor young men

East asian women aren’t as passive as people believe, I’ve known quite a few Phillipino women who can absolutely hold their own. It is probably a business arrangement but life is downright HARD for many people out there, you don’t strive and come out soft. I totally judge those men tbh but understand where the women are coming from.

Right. Let's object to the language a woman uses to discuss the exploitation of women. Because that's the important thing to object to.

OK, yes, 'ugly' isn't a word I'd typically use to describe another person. However, given the behaviour we're discussing, men exploiting disadvantaged women, men who'd stoop to take advantage of women wanting to flee war zones in order to bag themselves an young attractive bride - then tbh, using an objectionable term to describe them is of negligible importance in the context of the discussion, and ok by me. Jumping on to people for using the word ugly (or for saying league) is a diversion from the issue at hand, because here we are discussing women's choice of language rather than discussing women's exploitation.

As to whether the physical appearance of the men who do this is relevant, I think it is, as is their age. Older less physically attractive men have fewer options for the women who will consider them than young attractive men. The men we are talking about on this thread in their arrogance, believe they are entitled to young beautiful woman and care nothing for whether that's recoprocated. When they cant attract one conventionally they use unethical means.

As much as we don't like the idea, wealth and beauty have always been bartering factors in relationships. And for those whose wealth may not seem like much in their home country, in a poorer country it seems more. It can be unpleasant to think about, but it is a fact.

One can only hope that both partners in an agreement benefit. I'm afraid many young women taken out of their home environment, or country, are at a disadvantage if the agreement goes sour.

Is it really much different if it happened on British soil ? I have come across quite a few young , beautiful women married to ugly , nerd looking men in the UK! Surely we marry people based on conditions which make us happy or meet our needs? No ones forcing those women to marry such men! They have a choice and choose to do so ! What an arbitrary post !

This, and the league thing also is gross

Whilst I don’t necessarily think it’s something to celebrate, is it that different to how relationships work generally? Men trade on their money and women trade on their looks. That’s why old broke men don’t date 25 year olds, but old rich men do.

I know two of these- one Russian, one Thai. Both husbands died leaving their much younger wives in the UK. Both women had come to the UK with a young daughter. One had got British citizenship (at a cost!) for her and the daughter and inherited the house from the husband who had no will. She is on a low income and now struggling financially.

The other was married to a Brit but not a British citizen herself and had to go back to her country of origin with her now mid teens child who had been in British schools for years. Very sad situations. Both couples “met” online after previous divorces. The husbands are happy to have a beautiful wife who cleans and cooks and looks after him. The wife wants a better life for her child.

Yes this!

I remember watching that program 90 day fiancé. There was a couple on there called Mike and Aziza. I felt terribly sorry for Aziza. It didn’t seem like she wanted to be with him at all. You can watch some clips on YouTube and you’ll see what I mean

You've disagreed with those words being objectionable. I can't come to any other conclusion. Tell me in your own words, then, why you think its okay and relevant. Ugly isn't a word that fits for the only person I know, and seen recently, whose done this kind of thing .. and yet its still grim

I don't understand why you feel the need to explain to me what the op and others where trying to say.
I understand clearly.
I objected to the term league, it's boorish and incel like!

It's completely relevant!!!

Because it's very very rarely great looking guys looking for Thai brides.

YANBU. It's essentially a form of prostitution.

I agree completely and never more so since moving to the Middle East and seeing it play out in real life.
The number of (usually) white western men taking full advantage of the younger Thai and Filipino women living out here who struggle to make a living.
Yes you can argue that they are giving the women a better standard of living but for how long? Till the men get bored and the next young attractive woman comes along and the first one is left in the wayside.
It is crass and disgusting but the men will tell you how they are "different" to the stereotype.
Nope, you are the very reason the stereotype exists!!

Why would I think those things when you, not I, just sad there and made them up? I said nothing of the sort and you won't find a shred of evidence in anything I've written to suggest I think only ugly men take advantage of women or that I think its 'acceptable' to take advantage of attractive women. Not a shred. If you want to engage with me and debate my posts then please do me the courtesy of limiting that to the opinions I have offered rather than inventing new ones to attribute to me.

Yeah - it does seem mutually beneficial to me.

In the developed country I'm from I pursued education, got a good career to set up my future family. If I was from one of these countries and had little prospects I'd happily marry an "ugly" Colin from abroad to better my family and prospects.

The OP was referring to women of these nationalities she had seen in a documentary about old British men wanting to marry them, and has factually stated the women were attractive. If you find something demeaning towards women of these nationalities in that, then you will need to be more explicit. Because your post I responded to didn't mention that at all, it seemed you were just taking exception to the the OP saying the women were out of the men's league.

I understood exactly what the op was saying.
The description and characterisation by the op of Russian, Ukrainian and Thai women is a disgusting trope.

Of course there are women out of these usually seedy creepy men's league. How do you not admit that?

I'm with you OP.

Eh? Maybe its because its not true? You think men only take advantage of women if they are ugly and/or all ugly men take advantage of women? It's also somehow suggesting that there's a relationship between a woman's physical appearance and how acceptable it is to take advantage of them

Plenty of men, widely considered to be attractive, do exactly that and women's right to not be exploited is not connected to her physical appearance

I know 2 older men with mail order brides.The men are not rich at all,very unattractive,no prospect of anyone here wanting them but they still got some poor desperate women to marry them,presumably for a better life than they had and a passport.It is definitely exploitation.