To dislike men who seek out foreign brides

That's a fair point. The OP was referring to old men shopping for very young women and i do agree that's very creepy and abusive.

There are plenty of posters in this thread, however, that clearly consider any man that travels to Thailand looking for a relationship to be no better than a UN Peace Keeper trading baby food for tricks.

I'm trying to explain that these relationships (not involving creepy old guys and very young women), that might seem completely one-sided in terms of looks and power, might actually be more like marriages of equals when other factors are taken into account.

I think in some cases it works, some cases it's really obvious exploitation and in some it's not clear who is actually exploiting who.

There are examples I know.

Very shy guy, sheltered life, all male boarding school, really struggled to eve talk to women. Decent guy, always treated her well and she eventually feel for him genuinely. She always liked him but didn't love him at the outset. They are happy.

Another guy- very similar, also happy

Third guy, absolute creep, she eventually left him but he tells everyone she bled him dry. More power to her if she did.

Fourth guy, decent, lacks confidence. Still together. She is the boss and possibly abusive. He will never leave her.

Fifth is the weirdest story I know & half it could just be rumour. A very normal, although not overly bright, guy I was in school with metMarried, had kids. Things turned nasty when she wanted a divorce & demanded half the farm, which she was entitled too. He protested. Somewhere along the way, it turns out she had filmed herself & his father also having sexual relations. Lots of blackmail. Eventually, they paid her off. She returned home, left two kids with him. His father had a stroke and heartache since, now in a home. Son is a lot poorer now. This was about ten years ago as far as I know she has never been heard from since. Have wondered if she actually returned home or if they harmed her.

No major age gaps in any of these, typically 8-10 years.

This isn't about whether these men should 'make do' with inferior uk women when they could 'meet' better ones from abroad though, is it? It's about whether they should impose themselves sexually on vulnerable young women in exchange for material benefits the woman needs. You keep trying to shift the parameters of the discussion to include ever smaller age gaps, sought after men who simply find women from abroad 'better', young men meeting women from abroad organically etc, when these are clearly not the people the OP is referring to. You're defending one thing with reference to something entirely different.

Since when is "nice" the only quality anyone looks for in a partner? These men make no effort, get offended when British women would rather stay single, then go looking for a woman who can't stay single. It's gross.

They don’t have to date dull men at all. This tangent started because someone claimed that Really nice guys don't struggle to attract partners in the UK.

Now ,now don't be a bully.

Why do you think a man should limit himself to the same when he can go to Thailand and meet somebody 'better'?

And why exactly do you think a woman should date a dull man? Just because he's "available"?

Quite a few women i know used to date the 'cool guys' in their twenties (DJs, dealers, etc).

Then the music stopped and they were left single in their thirties.

There were definitely still some nice guys available, some of whom were quite rich, but they just weren't interested - too short, too dull, etc.

It's definitely a thing, no matter how much you might deny it.

Oh sorry, I should've said love. Funny how they're only capable of loving young, attractive women. Must be a coincidence.

Well, I assume my wife is one, but maybe someone 3D printed her.

Anyway, I don’t see why what I said was so controversial. There are plenty of threads on here from women who seem nice, with lots to offer, but can’t find a partner. So why would that not be true for men?

Your assumption is that the men just want sex. There's easier and cheaper access to sex in Thailand than marriage, visa sponsorship, additional plane tickets home, etc. Amsterdam is also a lot closer and cheaper, if that's all the man wants.

Now we're comparing things to buying organs or abusing women in exchange for aid. 🙄

I think there’s a tendency to find exciting drama more attractive than the safe and mundane among both sexes. Look at how many women on here will try to portray themselves as the perfect partner (called the pick-me dance on here). It never works.

It’s not universal, obviously, and people who have been hurt by bad boy/girl types might seek out safer partners, but I think there is some truth in the trope.

Have you actually met a real life woman?

That's your assumption. I'm not western. I actually understand more about this than you do from various points of view.

What if instead of sex they wanted a liver or a kidney? Would that be ok?

What if instead of abroad they trawled homeless encampments for a wife?

How low can we go ?

Yep. Another one is “treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen”.

Young women might but women do grow out of that. Women don't always want the exciting bad boy.

The problem is older men wanting younger women rather than date their own age

The end of that sentence is the type of attitude that I DO find undateable.

Any more incel quotes?

Really nice guys don't struggle to attract partners in the UK.

Many will. Shyness, lack of opportunity to meet women, women (especially young women) wanting exciting bad boy partners rather than safe nice guys.

I'm talking about the reality of it.

You're looking at it through a prism of western dating standards.

Have you considered that the women themselves might also be realistic about their marriage prospects in their home countries? If they've only received a basic education, come from a poorer family and are from a lower social class, they might only be a ’3’ or '4' on the local marriage market.

Your 'disgusting' man that's 'unrealistic' about his prospects, could be 'unattainable' in another country.

That doesn't mean that it is exploitation or abusive.

@ThisOldThang the only men I consider undateable are mysoginists (and other isms) and abusers.

The vast majority of men that do this ( I do accept there's exceptions to the rule and the odd one might fall outside of this) are two categories:

1. Average men that do not want average women, they want young and hot. They think they deserve young and hot. They're likely to dismiss, humiliate, reject and laugh at the average woman.

1. Controlling,mysoginistic, abusive men that not only do they want young and hot but malleable, 50's /surrendered housewife there to serve their every wish and whim.

This is who you are defending, this is on behalf of whom you are offended. Bullies themselves. The double standards are fucking staggering.

Bloke buys himself young and hot because he thinks he's better than "that" but that's just looking for love. Women point out the discrepancy and they're bullies. Give me a fucking break.

Honedtly you are describing the exaxt scenario we are talking about, from the perspective of the men we are talking about. You just have realised it yet.

...choose to marry a fat, bald 60-year-old man...

Well on that theme, there are plenty of threads on here where fat women are told they "look fabulous, hun!" and "of course you can be fat and still very attractive to men!".

Perhaps these awful men are fed, and absorb, the same bullshit, too?

I've repeatedly said I'm not taking about the creepy old men that go seeking young brides/maids/sex toys.

I'm referring to men that haven't, for whatever reason, found a partner in the UK and decide to try their luck further afield.

This is where I think some people on this thread just don't understand the dynamic. Some men that you consider to be undateable are actually highly desirable in the Far East. Men that have been dismissed their entire lives for being ugly/boring/geeks can be considered '7+' men and maybe even higher when you factor in income/assets/prospects.

Is it so strange for a Thai woman that's a '9' (by our standards) to end up with a western guy that she considers to be an '8'?

There also isn't the same freedom for women to remain single into their forties in these countries, so there will be a natural trend for a western man to end up with a younger woman - e.g. 40 year old guy with a 30 year old woman. There simply aren't as many older women that remain unmarred.

They don't look like the average UK man who is married to an attractive UK woman in her 20s though, do they? Because those women tend to be partnered with young attractive men. So there clearly is a lack of interest in them from their target demographic.
Divorce rates do tend to be lower when women are vulnerable because the same things that drive them to partner with these men in the first place serve to keep them there.
As for the apparant high regard UK men are held in abroad, I couldn't disagree more. Unfortunately in many other countries their reputation is appalling.