To expect partner to help with paying for food shops?

Why does he think he shouldn't pay for his food? If he moved out your council tax would be less and so would the food bill. Granted not a huge reduction but his costs if he moved out would be vastly more

He's a cheeky beggar if you ask me!

Unless whilst he's living there he doesn't eat or drink anything or use any facilities then he should be contributing to food and other standard purchases.
As PP have said, work out ALL the expenses on a monthly basis, deduct the basic car costs, halve the remainder (or if you feel generous, split the food/toiletries costs into thirds, and he pays one third).
If he was living on his own he'd have to be paying for those things. So he shouldn't be getting them for free whilst living with you.

You’re only being unreasonable to ask he ‘helps’ with the food shop. It’s not helping, he’s an adult.

I would find this all so unattractive. Work out the food + bills and that’s his half. If he wants you to drive him about then he should also contribute to that.

Personally… I couldn’t be with someone who acted like my child.

Just dump this man, you are wasting so much time.

i think he has some signs of ADHD

He has a lot of signs of being a cocklodger. Arguing that he shouldn't have to pay more, telling OP that SHE should cut down are very different to a simple being a bit shit with money.

Tell him you want a grand a month from next month or you'll have to live separately.

Why does he think his food should be provided for free??

When you ask him to pay for his own food and essentials and contribute something to the petrol for the car he rides about in, he replies -

'you'll need to cut down on things'

FFS. I can just hear the lecturing, patronising tone in which that phrase was uttered. How dare he. I note he didn't say "We need to cut down" ... Only you. He does* not see that he plays any part in trying to economise. Providing food and a roof over his head is all your problem.

That is not a partnership. It is not sharing. That is a situation where you will have to constantly campaign for fairness and equality. Why should you have to go through this stress, just to have a fair division of bills between two wage earning adults in the same household?

Of course he's "terrible with money". He has found a perfect safety net.

It's the reason why you didn't have spare cash to pay for your tyre repairs for the car he gets free lifts in and he doesn't see it should come at any cost to him. and all the little pay day loans you have to give him because he's broke and you have managed your money more sensibly.

And also its not fair to your child and your future self ( you sound careful with money and would be happier if you could build up savings for emergencies)

*edited to say does not

Cut down? Pfft what a c**k. Best way to do that is get rid of him but if you really think this man child is worth it stop lending him money, don’t buy him any toiletries or extras. Tell him you can’t take him in the car put less petrol in if you can if he wants lifts he’ll have to give you the money and buy less when shopping just think of you and your DD. personally I think he’s a waste of space and you deserve better but that’s just me.

Wow only £600 a month, tell him rent somewhere else privately and see how it gets on with finding somewhere for £600 a month. You’re being taken for a ride.

Its interesting you call him your "partner". He really isn't partnering with you at all is he? He might as well be your lodger with that attitude. It's your decision as to whether you put up with shit like that.

"what's for dinner?"

Nothing for you. I tried to buy you something with the money you gave me for food but there was nothing for free I'm afraid.

What a fucking loser he is. Expecting you to pay for all the food shopping despite earning roughly the same. If I were you, I'd be saying I've paid all the food shopping for the last year (or two?!) now it's your turn... Or you know, GET OUT!

What does he actually bring to the table then?£600 on the rent is a start but what about everything else like council tax, TV licence etc. He needs to pull his finger out of his arse and help out more

Public transport for all journeys that include your partner. He pays for his items in the supermarket. He puts them
in his own basket or trolley. He pays more/half towards the shopping. If not stop going to the supermarket for him. Get food for you and your child only. The bills and costs of your home have to be paid equally by him.

Haven't read any replies because I don't need to. Who's picking your bags up?

I've brought it up to him and it's very much 'youll need to cut down on things'

Well quite. So you cut down on hs toiletries, his food, his lifts, his 'loans' and anything else you pay for that benefits him.

Or I'll tell you what, never mind all the this and that, just cut him out. Get rid. If he gets half as cushy a life as he has with you for £600 a month I'll eat the entire stock from John Lewis's hat department.

Do you really need to ask 🤷🏻‍♀️

You could split the food bill into thirds if you want to be super fair and you pay 2/3 for you and your child - he pays the other third.

If he won't do that at the very minimum then you need to get him to move out. I bet all your bills would significantly reduce as soon as he wasn't there.

If you are driving him around in the car more than once a week or so then he should also be paying towards petrol and wear and tear costs. Petrol at the very minimum.

He should also be paying his fair share for outings and treats etc. Why are you covering all of those?

op says she takes him to work. I took that to mean every day.

I really hope OP realises this sooner rather than later. He's stealing from her child too.

Why are you buying his deodorant etc. is that because he thinks you should pay for some reason or because he's disorganized and doesn't buy stuff like that for himself when it runs out?

Oh God I hate threads like this, he thinks he can pay £600 and have his entire rent, bills and food covered?? He is totally taking the piss and is financially abusing you, which he will be 100% aware of.

Seems like the most sensible solution.

I'd be more concerned as to where his money is going if he is broke after a week, and borrowing from OP. Awful money management is not a good look at all. And a whinging miser would close up my nether regions like a clam anyway.

Substance abuse of some sort and/or gambling is my guess.