To expect partner to help with paying for food shops?

How old is he? 16? Surely a fully functioning adult man can work out that he’s paying less than a student would pay for mouldy room in a shared house of 7 in a dodgy part of town? And that before you get to bills and food. A man who loved you would want the best for you. He’d want to live a life with you where you were happy, secure, and were an equal, not one where you were struggling because you had to feed him and drive him everywhere and made sure he didn’t smell. I bet you do all the cooking, cleaning (with the products you pay for), and shag him too. And then you have to bail him out on top of all that?

What does he bring to your life that makes him worth all that?

£600 a month all in? I'll move in with you!

I'd get rid of him. Once again every morsel of food or gallon of petrol he uses is less for your DC.

If you don't get rid of him make it really uncomfortable. I can't feed you I'm cutting back like you said. I can't give you a lift I'm cutting back like you said. I can't buy your deodorant ... You can't have a shower ... You can't use the washer ...

Bet he'll leave then!

You don’t need to ask. You know you are being a complete fool.

You're only struggling because you're subsidising him! Why doesn't he think he should contribute to the food and petrol costs? You're allowing him to take money away from your child.

Your partner is taking the piss and you are enabling him

None of these things are symptoms of ADHD. I've reported this hateful, incorrect and ignorant post.

He's had it all his own way so far, now it's time to prioritise yourself and your DC. If he doesn't want to fit in properly like a genuine partner should, then it's time for him to go.

He's taking the piss.
The thing is, even when you tell him you won't be he's mummy anymore, you will be left with the knowledge that he would be willing to let you live like this while he has £1300 a month for himself if only he could still get away with it.
I would never watch someone I love struggle whilst feeding me.

In what way is he subsiding op?

He pays next to nothing for his accommodation once his share of utility, council tax, toiletries, petrol, wear and tear on her car and food etc is deducted. Plus op is considerably worse off as she has to pay full council tax and may even have lost some benefits.

Op is either break even with him being there or as I suspect, even be worse off due to him living there, plus all of the additional labour including taxiing him around.

A child does not cost a lot extra, definitely not 1/3 of the food bill. If anything, a man will eat a similar amount to a woman plus younger child combined. A bedroom from a 1 to 2 bed not be 1/3 more.

I also would not be calling him a step parent. A step parent is engaged and wants what is best for their partner and partner’s child.

Are you seeing my ex? He was a sponging cunt too.

Make yours an ex, you deserve it.

Haha, "cut down on things", sure. Cut down on driving him around, cut down on his toiletries, the food he likes...

Yes you can. Just click on yanbu and it changes. There is 1 day 22 hours to change your vote.

Why exactly does he think he doesn't need to pay to feed himself or his personal hygiene stuff. What ridiculous reason does he give for that not being his responsibility??

What did you sign up for?
A partner or another child?

So OP, are you kicking the useless piece of shit out!???? Or is this just one of those waste of space threads where the OP just rolls over again and continues to be a doormat to a complete and utter arsehole of a "man"?

Balls I clicked AIBU by accident and can't change my vote. YANBU!!!

It's not a "gift" if you're charging it at a specific rate...

You can gift someone up to £3k with no questions asked.

and then pay tax on those "earnings" as they are no longer a household contribution 🙄

I have been in a similar situation, paying for practically everything whilst partner is terrible with money. He wasn’t doing it intentionally, I just don’t think he realised how much of a difference there was between how each of us were spending money.
What worked for me was to first create a list of every expense and how much they were costing each month. Food shop, each separate bill, petrol, insurance etc etc. I then pointed out to him which of these expenses I was paying, and which he was paying. A million times before this id mentioned how I was spending more than him and it wasn’t fair, I but I think putting it down like this is front of him actually made it sink in. Now we have a joint account that we both put the same amount in per month for the food shop, and we each pay our individual expenses like phone bills from our own accounts. Probably seems a bit of a faff but it works for us. I also pointed out to him what he was sending silly amounts of money on (he used to spend over £100 a month on monster energy drinks!!) and now he bulk buys them at the beginning of the month and if he runs out he runs out. See if you can find compromises like that where he still gets his luxuries but there’s some element of sacrificing/money saving

Charge him Uber rates for lifts and Deliveroo rates for food and cooking (since I'm guessing you also do the cooking). Paid in advance.

Conversely, OP would be paying pretty much the same to be a single parent, as rent etc wouldn't be cheaper. I guess OP might receive some benefits, so taxpayers would be paying rather than DP.

Not from me she wouldn't.

He's already subsidising DC via a bigger property than a couple would need, and higher bills. Is it too much to ask that DC father actually chips in too, or are step-parents held to a higher standard than actual parents?

Sorry, just saw that update. So he is already paying half of the household bills (excluding car expenses). He sounds like he's already paying more than his fair share there, as he's effectively paying towards your DC costs too - do you not receive any maintenance or benefits for DC? If you're looking for a financially fair household costs split, he should probably be paying 1/3 of the household bills, so around £400, then towards car and food costs too - the £200 would be seen as that portion, but I guess a little more would make that equitable. If car costs are £600 (outrageously high, but your choice) then his share would be £200, and then 1/3 of the food bill too - maybe another £100/£150?

The government certainly thinks it is up to a new partner to subsidise a child, which is why single parents get benefits stopped when a partner moves in (if they claim them).