To expect partner to help with paying for food shops?

He should be paying half the food bill. DH and I take it in turns to do and hence pay for the weekly shop and whoever does the shops responsible for meal planning. We don’t have a joint bank account.

Of course he should pay for food & part of cleaning stuff, loo roll.
Dies he think The Magic Tesco fairy gifts it direct to your fridge?
He saves £1200 a month & you are broke.
Nope Nada Niet.
Tell him it changes or he's history

This.

I voted YANBU, but really. This guy is a drain.

....but questioning if he's right that he shouldn't need to pay for food.

Why on earth are you questioning this?

What world does he live in that food just appears for free?

Does he think you just load up your trolley in the supermarket and walk out without paying?

@Lunluna09 if you're giving him money throughout the month it's more than your breakdown

What is he spending his money in op? I'm also a but confused as to why he thinks he's paying his fair share when he's clearly not. Have you sat down with him and gone through the costs?

Why are you questioning if he should pay for his food? Does he survive on fresh air or does he eat food daily like the rest of us? Is he a dependent child? Then why the hell would YOU pay for it???
The car is more up for debate as to what is a fair split but if he uses it he should contribute towards it.

If he rented elsewhere he would have to buy food & toiletries. Why wouldn't he pay whilst living with you?

Seriously, dump him. To even think he shouldn't contribute to food, never mind fuel costs for running him around, shows how selfish he is.

Your car is costing a lot. Can you trade it for a cheaper monthly payment?

(just to save you money, still kick him out)

OK
So he is paying just under half the house related bills.
He could contribute more to the car related costs as he benefits from that.
And yes he should be paying for around half the groceries including basic toiletries.
As a minimum he needs to pay a third of the petrol and groceries.
If he can't afford that what is he spending his money on?

What on earth does he spend it on in the first week?

Add up all of your joint spends for an average month (including food/ groceries).

Subtract costs relating to your child, and the cost of your car (but as he also benefits from the car, you should keep back a percentage of fuel and wear and tear for him to contribute).

Split what is left down the middle - he should be paying half.

I have a feeling it will be more than £600.

I would take the approach here where you tell him living together isn’t working for you anymore and he needs to get his own place again. See if he sticks around when you aren’t paying all his bills.

Oh my god leave I have wasted my adult life with someone like this and I am looking for a way to leave 😞

Why are you doing this?

If it’s your place then you pay the mortgage / rent but he needs to pay half of the bills and half of the food. Next time he wants a lift just say you haven’t got enough petrol and can’t afford anymore. If he wants you to swing by the petrol station and he tops up your tank then that’s fine but other wise you cant.

FGS why are you asking? You know the answer already don't you?

This is not a good relationship. Don't plan a future with someone this terrible with money.

Honestly you will be much better off on your own. He has told you you need to cut down on things. That's right, turns out he is an expensive luxury you can't afford. Get rid.

Yes he should be paying more, you're supposed to be a partnership. You should both sit down and look at your bills and spending each month and see what's fair. It's also not really fair of him to say it's your car when you're using it to drive him around and for family outings, just because he doesn't drive it doesn't mean he doesn't pay for anything car related! It's the family car really so he should be contributing.
DH and me also earn about the same, we put equal amounts into the joint account to cover bills including food shopping. We both have our own cars so pay for them separately but mine is more of our main family car so if we take it on a long trip or holiday he'll pay for fuel

What's the point of him?

You need to factor in the food shops average say 125 per week and add that to the bills, rent/mortgage, gas & electric, tv package, broadband, petrol, car payment, tax for car and insurance etc and then split it 50/50.

If he wants to be chauffered around he needs to help pay for the costs for the car.

However, I would be tempted to turf him out and let him see if he can rent a room with all mod cons, food, washing etc etc for £600 per month.

Just out of interest what is he doing with £1300 that he needs to borrow from you after a week of just being paid !!!!

So he's living all in for £600 per month including sex?

How did you get into this situation? I don’t understand the split of the bills in the first place - is £500 a car loan so you each pay £600 for rent, council tax, utilities? The food should be split maybe 60:40 if you make allowances for your child, how did he ever get away with not contributing to the very first food shop??Either the car is yours alone and he pays you for lifts, or it’s a family vehicle and the costs are split. He is a) taking the absolute piss and b) terrible with money and with £1.3k left after bills still sponging off you. Get rid.

Yet another woman putting a free-loading leech in front of her own child.
Why are you doing this? Is it better to be in a relationship - no matter how shit -than it is to be single?

If you kick him out you’ll get a 25% discount on your council tax. Then say you spend £300 a month on his food and toiletries, decrease on the amount of petrol used and the money you lend him, slight decrease on bills. I think if you add these up you’ll offset the £600 he pays towards the bills and you’ll be able to cope better without him.