To expect partner to help with paying for food shops?

He gambles, drinks, or uses, maybe all three.

Stop providing for him your husband partner not his mother. Work out food costs and make him pay his share, same with fuel etc. I personally think he should be contributing about £400 more a month in total as that's the minimum he is costing. If he doesn't do it get rid of him

You actually are unreasonable to put up with this shit from him. What does he actually bring to the relationship?

@Lunluna09 you're being a bit vague as well 😆

So how much extra does he borrow each month and does he pay it back? Some posters here have had things like this happen and don't want it for anyone else.

Yes of course he should pay towards food.

YANBU.

You make it clear that you are finding money tight as you pay more towards bills than him plus are covering all the car expenses and food bills. Tell him he needs to pay for food and don't drive him places unless he contributes to fuel. If he is still short of money in spite of the fact he is not paying towards food and fuel where is his money going?

Next time he quibbles about you not having enough money remind him he is not paying his fair share.

Why does the freeloading twat think he doesn't have to pay for the food he eats?
Get rid it won't get any better.

Food bill is part of the house hold bills. So if they are say £500 a month then he needs to be giving you an extra £250 a month

You haven't said what he's spending his remaining money on. It sounds ominous to me that he can spend that much in a week, is it drugs? He's living his best life while you worry about where every penny is coming from. He won't change, I know from experience. Get rid, you won't look back.

Why does he eat food that he doesn't pay for? Or have use of a car he doesn't pay for?
Surely that's a situation you're allowing - can't fathom why though

This....as I definitely couldn't yuk

Don't 'lend' him money again when it's gone within one week.

Does he have any debt?

At least.... God I cannot spell 🙄

Give yourself a shake OP.
Of course he should be paying for his share of food and ALL of his own toiletries etc.
If he was a decent man and not a freeloading cocklodger he'd give something towards the car expenses too as he's benefitting from the use.
Honestly - wake up.

youll need to cut down on things' with no offer to help out even one week a month with doing a food shop

Quite simply I would cut down on any lifts for him, or any shopping for him 🤷‍♀️

Surely it should be he pays the equivalent of 1/3 of the rent, food and utilities (inclusive of toilretries if thats how you shop and petrol. Then 1/2 of the council tax.

What is he spending the rest of his wage on?

What are you doing with this man? He's a freeloader. You are spending money on him that you could be spending on your daughter!

Just get rid ffs!

He can buy his essentials or food he eats which you don't like. He should be paying atheist 800/850

He has you exactly where he wants you, together with your purse and your bed. Honestly can you not see this?

Of course it is not easy to kick him out, but you can start by broaching the subject tonight with your list of outgoings and a demand for a credit transfer of £X from the end of this month forward. His reaction will tell you everything you need to know.

I get the feeling that he might be gambling or using.

Just for absolute clarity. These situations never change. The men never improve, they just become more and more entrenched and feckless. If they start to earn more, they just waste more money. When they see you being a mug they just become happy to take more.

If you don’t want to kick him into touch for you, do it for your kid- what kind of example are you setting for them. Show them that it isn’t right to settle in a relationship, that you deserve better.

FFS why on earth are you even needing to ask?

Why wouldn't he be paying for the food he puts in his mouth?

Give me strength. How many more threads like this will we be reading.

How can people be so foolish.

3 choices
1 - tell him his wages need to go into your account and you give him "pocket money' back.
2 - he gives more than the current £600 that he does.
3 - he leaves.

I don't think an adult man should pay 1/3 and a woman and child 2/3 of the food shop. It should be 50/50 as he has higher caloric demands, and within that he should have no say in what is purchased as he isn't the one schlepping to the shops and meal planning. If he wants lots of chicken for example, he pays for that himself.

He should get a car or taxi. Stop giving him lifts, or he needs to pay all the petrol, at 15p per mile? plus 25p per mile car wear and tear cost, and 25p mile driving time cost, if you give him a lift anywhere. That's the new going rate.
Stop buying him things.
Stop saying gifts are from both of you, unless he contributes equally to them.

Keep a note pad with a running total and make sure he pays you at the start of the month

If you don't want to ditch him, make sure he knows he needs to be clear about finances with you. Examine his clear score, and his accounts, and find out exactly why he is such a fuck up with money, and work out exactly what you are dealing with here. A secret addiction for example.

Why does he think you should be paying for his food and toiletries? Stop it.

Stop driving him everywhere.

If you stay with a man that's so bad with money, you, and your child, will never have anything because you will always be funding him.

OP, do you see that he is a cock lodger?

Sound like you have a man child, the more you do for them the less they take responsibility for themselves.