To expect partner to help with paying for food shops?

Cut back on him. Seriously, don’t buy his essentials, don’t drive him without gas money, etc etc

Quite simply he pays for what he gets benefits from, so as it stands he can live, shower, use the bins but if he doesn’t contribute to the car he gets no use from it and he isn’t permitted to eat as he hasn’t paid. End of. He should ne contributing to the car if you drive him round!

@Lunluna09 The bills specifically for the house excluding the car are around £1250 a month and my car, car tax, insurance etc make up the remainder, which is why I'm happy with his £600 contribution towards the bills but questioning if hes right that he shouldn't need to pay for food.

He's only right about not needing to pay for food if he isn't eating. Does he cook/clean/do anything useful? He sounds like a waste of oxygen space.

stop having him. job done

What a great deal he’s got going! Where can I find a fool like you!?!?!?!?

I wish you would tell him no more lifts until he puts petrol in the car.
Does he not step into the supermarket?
Tell him the car repairs have wiped you out and he will have to pay for his own meals going forward.
It is horrible how he is using you @Lunluna09

That view won’t go down well on here

Is the tenancy in both your names?

Stop buying his stuff in the shop.

Stop running him around in your car.

You are being treated like a mug.

Do not let your child have to endure any more of this in the future.

Leave your partner asap.

He is not a keeper he is a throwback.

YABU for entertaining this shit.

This is why on the other thread I mentioned that the OP should stay by herself and not move the man into her home.

It always starts with:

• I cannot afford to pay xyz.
• I’m only a third of the household, so should only pay for myself, not you and your child, blah blah blah

Yup, YABU!

stop subsidizing him! My mother was in the same boat- her DP moved in our place, he was working but barely contributed. I was old enough to see what was happening and still resent her for lowering our (already low) standard of living for a man. Think what example you’re giving to your child.

@Msanthrop1st

Because she's paying for her and her child vs him paying for him, so I would guess she'd pay more than half so I used thirds as an example?

It isn't clear what you pay for the car and he doesn't. Do you pay for the finance on the car and the MOT and petrol and he cuts in 50% on the insurance? Road tax?

It sounds like that may be where the money goes, as well as the food. He can go food shopping every other week and fill the car with petrol while he's there.

Alternatively, you can look at your bank statements over three months, highlight or write out every shared expenditure, add them up and bill him for the shortfall.

My very romantic family alternate doing the expenditure spreadsheets.

You’re with a cock lodger who’s bleeding you dry, time to boot his arse to the curb. You shouldn’t be paying for either his toiletries or food (which should be included in the household bills).

How old is your child? Because unless they are a male teen I very much doubt they are consuming a third of the food, or even you are. My experience with adult men is that they eat a great deal more than women or children.
How long have you been subsidising him for? I would demand he now returns the favour and pays for the groceries for the next however many months until you are even. Then after that they can be halved between you. And if he wants use of the car then he needs to fill the tank every so often.
But honestly do you want your life to be policing a piss taker? Better off showing him door.

Hi OP, I know this is an old thread however just wondering how you are?

Why should she pay 2/3?

Your child is having LESS because you are subsidising a grown man - why oh why are you doing that?

Of course he should pay for food. Every pound you subsidise him is a pound less available for your DC.

Re the PCP you might not be in negative equity so it might be worth investigating that further (for your own sake, not so you have more money to fund your P). We have two cars on PCP and both are in positive equity at the moment because 2nd hand car prices are so high.

you are not his mum

ditch this idiot pronto

Why on Earth is he not paying for his food?
Or his toiletries.
That would seem to me to be absolutely unreasonable for you to be covering those costs.
The fact he doesn't see that is worrying.

So even if he does contribute his own share for this id still have a concern about his overall attitude.

Tell him to keep his paws off your food and he can buy his own. Plus all his essentials.

I mean, clearly he should pay more and I’m a believer in paying in proportion to earnings, which he’s not doing

i do note that a previous thread where a woman moved in with a man who had children was pretty firm that he should pay more due to his kids…

Why would he think you should feed him?

You're not his mum.

How is this man a partner to you?

He sounds like a particularly lazy teen.

Boot him out.

Of course he should pay for his part of expenses, including food and part of all of the expenses of owning a car, as he benefits from it also. You've got a cocklodger on your hands, OP.

He absolutely should contribute towards food/groceries/toiletries & he should also be making a contribution to petrol costs if he is directly benefiting from the car (e.g. if you are driving him to / from work).