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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to leave London

89 replies

CactusMactus · 20/03/2024 13:56

Just that really?
Would I be so unreasonable to want to leave London even though DP's office is central London?
I WFH.
School aged kids... have no idea where we would go!

OP posts:
Pinkdelight3 · 20/03/2024 14:16

Okay so all those are good reasons and your kids are still young so uprooting them from schools is not such an issue. Might be tricky getting them both places in the same primary as each other esp if it's good/over-subscribed, but once that's sorted you can have a more straightforward shift to secondary. So yeah YANBU, and now's a good time to check out those other threads and start looking into home counties that suit your DH commute and all of that. Hitchen is always the starter for 10 on here for these discussions, but all depends on budget, whether you want to go north/south/east/west and so on.

Herdingcatz · 20/03/2024 14:14

Sevenoaks is half hour commute into central. Tonbridge is 40 minutes It would be a more expensive commute for him- but offset by better value property. There are some good fast stations outside of London which wouldn’t impact on his commute time

Original poster
CactusMactus · 20/03/2024 14:11

Motivators:
Mortgaged up to the eyes - would be good to have a bit of extra cash.
I wfh so can be anywhere.
Kids years 3 & 5 so I'm worrying about secondary. They may not get into the decent secondary.
House still needs loads of work and we can't afford to do it. Kitchen depresses me!
Would be nice to have more space in case my parents get old and need to live with us...

OP posts:
FrenchandSaunders · 20/03/2024 14:09

why do you want to move and do your DCs/DH?

Dewdilly · 20/03/2024 14:09

Why do you want to? You say because you can’t afford London any more? Do you mean housing or something else?

whyismysoupcold · 20/03/2024 14:08

I'm a born and bred Londoner. You'd never have been able to take me out of London... until I had kids. I grew up in south-west London but now I live within a 1hr commute of Liverpool Street. Our 5-bed house cost less than the 1-bedroom flat I was going to buy just before I had kids (thank god I didn't).

I love how quiet it is, and how nursery is literally half the price of the nursery I was trying to get my children into when we did live in London. I mean, it's not perfect out here, but damn, I don't think I'd want to go back unless I lived in a really nice area.

Original poster
CactusMactus · 20/03/2024 14:07

Zone 3 - quite suburban. Good primary.. secondary are mixed bag.
DP's office is Zone 1. Half an hour commute.

OP posts:
Pinkdelight3 · 20/03/2024 14:06

CactusMactus · 20/03/2024 14:04

I feel a bit daft tbh - I have only ever lived in London and my parents are still here but I am terrified if I move out I can never afford to come back...
But equally we really can't afford London anymore.

Why now? Apart from the cost, it seems a bit extreme when your kids are in school here and your DH works here, your family's here, you've not lived elsewhere and you don't know where else to go. I mean, you should absolutely start to investigate the possibilities - and there are tons of threads on here with good suggestions and debate by people wanting to move out - but it's worth drilling down into all the motivators making you want to move first, and seeing if a total change makes sense or maybe just a move to a cheaper area.

idontlikealdi · 20/03/2024 14:06

What do you mean by London, are you in central or suburbs?

Original poster
CactusMactus · 20/03/2024 14:04

Meadowfinch · 20/03/2024 14:02

Everyone is different. I studied in London and worked there for another 6 years. I hated it - noisy, dirty, dangerous, crowded, unfriendly, expensive - so I left as soon as my career was established. And I would never raise a child there.

But some people love it.

You need to go with your own instincts.

Where did you go?

OP posts:
Original poster
CactusMactus · 20/03/2024 14:04

I feel a bit daft tbh - I have only ever lived in London and my parents are still here but I am terrified if I move out I can never afford to come back...
But equally we really can't afford London anymore.

OP posts:
beguilingeyes · 20/03/2024 14:04

I'm only leaving in a box, but if you've got young kids I can understand.

Meadowfinch · 20/03/2024 14:02

Everyone is different. I studied in London and worked there for another 6 years. I hated it - noisy, dirty, dangerous, crowded, unfriendly, expensive - so I left as soon as my career was established. And I would never raise a child there.

But some people love it.

You need to go with your own instincts.

BreakingAndBroke · 20/03/2024 14:00

Yes, leave London. DH can ask about hybrid working.

Look along the train lines to wherever his office is. Places like Harlow, Cheshunt, Stevenage, St Albans etc. seem far out, but there are fast trains that get you into London in 20-30 minutes and you get a lot more bang for your buck with houses.