To ask my parents for financial help

@concernedchild if you can, get some assertiveness training & some CBT techniques & some centering/stress-release practice worked in over the next 18 months as well if you can!

The mountain you built out of this molehill is not good for your health or your attitude towards the exams.

You will have to ask for pay rises & take loans for other things in future...self-belief is key to knowing you have the ability to pay back in future. Investing wisely in your future career is worth doing.

Give yourself the head space to do WELL in your exams and to know what you're worth & not sell yourself short to employers in future either!

Sounds like your Dad is a decent guy. Maybe have some more grown up conversations about financial planning & how to bolster your confidence so you don't end up languishing in a dead end practice working yourself to the bone for basically minimum wage in future...

CBT. You're NOT sinking, you wouldn't be better at a supermarket, you got what you needed for less than the prep you'd put into it - once you stumped up the confidence to ask. Work on the confidence more so you don't leave it until you feeling like you're in a dead end before asking next time - whatever next time is (not money from your parents, your next tough situation to confront!). Having the confidence to tackle these things early will reduce your stress by the bucketload so you can perform better in EVERYTHING you take on.

Practice confidence!

Good luck

I hope you told your parents how much you tortured yourself over this... Sounds like you need to talk through why you feel like this when they can easily help and are happy to do so? Do they even now understand just how strapped for cash you are? Maybe show them this conversation?

This was me 12 years ago, albeit I wasn’t living at home. I had nothing at the end of the month. I was living in a horrible room in a shared flat, hand to mouth every week and had to resort to doing medical studies at my uni - usually sitting in an MRI scanner for an hour while doing different puzzles - to be able to afford my weekly shop. I had to skip socialising, nights out, uni end of term ball, etc. I too felt like a failure especially as other friends had it to easy and would get help from parents. My parents wouldn’t support me. But I always remembered what it was I was working towards and that things would eventually get better, and they did. Yes it’s tough now but try to keep your eyes focused on where you’re going, not where you are. If you need help, ask. One day, when you’re a successful solicitor, you can repay them - with interest. Don’t suffer in silence and don’t beat yourself up. You have self pride and a strong work ethic; that will take you far and you’ll look back on this time with pride in how you got through it. I’m sure your parents are proud of you.

I can see this has been resolved now but I just wanted to say - please whatever you do, get that professional qualification. There is a world of difference between a “profession” and a “job”, and once you have qualified no one can ever take that away from you. If you give up now you are likely to regret it in later life. Good luck and all the best

I can understand your phone as a. Expenditure but can never understand why anyone who is struggling in any shape pays for Spotify, you can have a free account and don't even fit that much form paying barring a few adverts and the ability to shuffle music. That's £130 a year as it is. Total waste. Even if my parents could afford dot od refuse to ask put of pride. You don't have to go out on weekends or go to concerts to enjoy yourself find a free hobby one you can afford. It's a short term situation until you are qualified so cut back accept the sacrifices you have to make and get on with it. Why put this on your parents. Sound like they are finding your lifestyle enough as it is.

and

Read the whole thread, or at least the OPs comments, and you will see all of those questions answered, and the conclusion to this issue!

What exams only cost £5000?

and
hqve you looked at all benefits you’re entitled to?

and
have you put your situation to work (especially if they’ll benefit form your exams/qualification) and actually negotiated for a pay rise ? Women particularly are bad at negotiating- pull the information together and a business case for the rise based on what you bring/will bring to the company. The worst that can happen, even if it’s not pay awardmtimemcisnformthem to say no, and at least then they’ll have realised you’re not happy with the pay.

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can your parents even afford this? They’ll have spent a lot of their own money paying you through university, they’re still subsidising your living expenses…are you going to leave the, short for pensions etc. you have rest of your life at high paying job (well it better bloody well be at £5k a pop for just exams!) to grow your salary and wealth. They’re likely to be in 50s I assume and needing to seriously be shovelling loads into pensions now. Their wages won’t go up as fast of yours form now on, and they’ll also be trying to actually live a life they’ve worked so hard for having got you “off their hands”. Most parents will want to help , but it will come at a cost, more than hte money itself, for them and their own futures.

and

I bloody hope this post grad training and exam is worth it financially - if it isn’t, STOP wasting m9ney chasing a dream and start working seriously to a job where you can support yourself as an independent adult.

I've just read your thread and am so pleased your parents offered to help you!

You're doing so well to work so hard and they must be extremely proud of you. Good luck with your exams, in a couple of years they will feel like a distant memory

Please talk to your parents and explain your position. Only you know whether they are a) in a position to and b) are likely to help you out. I have helped my three children out in different ways; one lived at home rent free until she got a good job, I paid another daughter’s masters course fees and helped out the boy on a constant drip arrangement 🤣 But.. I do know that I would have hated them not to have been able to talk to me about it. They didn’t ask, I offered the suggestions when we talked it through. Their dad had done a runner and contributed nothing.

Through my work, I’ve known scores of people who have done the LPC and all were self-funded, none of them fools.

Skimmed over the responses but such harshness in some.

They are your parents. Absolutely ask them for money if you need it. I'd be giving it to you without batting an eyelid if you were my daughter.

If you can't ask your parents for help when you need it who else should be relying on? You're family. They are your parents.

They may say no but if they did (and because you mention they have hundreds of thousands in the bank) it's them I'd be judging, not you. Very mean of them and you have every right to be upset.

We’ve financially helped one of our sons through Uni, he’s going on to do a PhD (all being well) and we’ll help him if needed too.
it’s been tough financially for our family, he’s studied hard, done well and hopefully at some point in the future he’ll get a job that he loves and it pays well 🤞
Our other son went down the apprenticeship route, ended up with a job, he still lives at home , saving for his next step
I would speak to your parents, not sure many parents would want to see their child stressed, hoping it all works out for you.

Proud of you. You’ve got this!

My daughter is at uni and I’m helping her through. Im not minted but what’s mine is theirs.

so pleased you spoke to your parents. Best of luck with the exams.

They are your parents. Please speak to them and I'm sure you could reach some kind of a solution to your issues. I'm sure they'd rather you talk to them than develop low mental health due to this.

Sending you a big hug! I self-financed uni,
paid housekeeping to my parents and received zero financial help. I’ve been exactly where you are and it’s really difficult. Please ask your parents for help: you won’t know the answer if you don’t! Please PLEASE don’t quit your course. I know you probably feel like you’re missing out on your twenties (that’s how I felt) but it will be so worth it when you’re in your thirties and you have a solid income from a career you love. And when you’re in your forties, and you perhaps have a family of your own, you’ll be so grateful for this lesson in resilience when you experience moments of financial hardship. Hang in there! It will all be worth it in the end. x

By the time you are 26 this will all be over. But at least talk with your parents about this.

I’m so pleased for you x

Why don't people RTFT, or at least the OP's posts?

If l was your parent l would definately help you out. I wouldn't like your mental health being affected to lack of funds. Please ask, the worst they can say is no, if they do not want to help, please, l ask you reassess, you employment. I understand you may say, it isn't that easy, but health has always got to be the top priority. I hope you get what you are hoping for, l really do .

This is exactly the time you sit down with your mum and dad. They love you more than any other person on the planet. Request a meeting to discuss your budget planning. Get all your paperwork and bills in order. Ask their advice. But why are you not eligible for a loan for your exams or uni? Uni should be able to offer financial advice? Why are your ongoing exams so expensive?

Not unreasonable to ask... I felt a bit crappie asking my dad for.money for a house deposit recently (didn't know brother had had a handout during lockdown...).

I have to be honest, though: some of the wording in your original post makes me concerned for you... Dont take this the wrong way, but have you considered speaking to the Dr re counselling? Feeling like a failure... sinking... don't see a point in anything... I just can't do it anymore. Take care of yourself, friend

If you were my daughter I’d gladly help you out with a small allowance. You’re working very hard towards your goals and you live modestly. I would want you to have a little bit of fun/down time layered in. Have a heart to heart with your parents. Good luck to you.

There's nothing wrong with asking for help. Stay strong and keep it up for another 18 months and you should see a big pay increase? And you won't be forking out the money for the uni fees.

You're great! Keep going and get your degree and your qualifications- once you have them they can never be taken away from you. Keep your end in mind and you'll be fab! Just keep going! :)