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To ask my parents for financial help

589 replies

concernedchild · 20/03/2024 08:47

I'm 24, I live at home (I know this will attract a lot of criticism but I cannot afford to move out).

I earn £1300 a month after tax etc.

After saving for professional exams (I have to pay for them, I get no help from work) I'm left with £650 per month. Of this I have to pay for uni, all my own expenses and travel to work, as well as other savings.

I'm left with about £75 at the end of each month. From this £75 I contribute what I can to the house but it's not a lot. I feel like a failure. If my friends ask to meet up I have to say no because I can't afford it.

Travel alone is £200 per month. I can't make it any cheaper. Uni is £100 per month. My expenses aren't extravagant - I'm paying for my uni course, my phone, Spotify etc., I'm not spending hundreds on my nails or getting sun beds or anything like that.

I want to approach my parents and ask for some help with the exams but I feel like a total failure for even having to ask. The plan when I moved in after uni was for me to save up and move out, but I had to move company and took a pay cut. I can't relocate my job (I'm on a training contract and I'm unlikely to get another one).

I feel like I'm sinking. I'm working for basically nothing, I can't afford to grab a coffee on my lunch break or even go out at the weekends. I'm trying my hardest to get by but it's having such an effect on me mentally that I feel like giving up and quitting my job all together to find something in a supermarket that's better paid.

Am I being unreasonable to ask them for help? I don't expect them to say yes, I'm expecting them to say no, but I feel like I'm at my wits end. I don't see a point in anything because I feel like I'm wasting my time working and not getting anywhere financially, I feel like I'm behind my peers and I just can't do it anymore

OP posts:
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Dogdilemma2000 · 20/03/2024 08:58

Why on earth do you consider yourself a failure when you’re studying for a lucrative career?

Take the long term view. You’re broke now - most students are. But you’ll be earning very good money when you’re qualified.

Can you get a student bank account with overdraft? Ask your parents if you can borrow some cash to help you focus on your exams. If you were my kid I’d do what I could to help you focus on your education, and I’m by no means well off.

Nevermind31 · 20/03/2024 08:57

Could you take out a loan for a longer period, one that means your repayments are less every month? 0% credit card (managed sensibly)?
this is for a limited period of time and once qualified, you should earn a decent amount

Floopani · 20/03/2024 08:57

I have young adult children and I would want them to tell me if they were struggling and if I could, I would help. It's obvious you're trying to better yourself and not spending all your money on fripperies. However, if you are putting money in savings at the same time, I would expect that to stop, you can't afford to save.

SapphOhNo · 20/03/2024 08:55

YANBU to ask for money but i'd expect them to want to know about your finances.

If you'll quality as a solicitor, can you not ask for the money from them as an interest free loan that you'll pay back once you qualify?

How are they financially?

Nevermind31 · 20/03/2024 08:55

How much longer is your course/ exams/ training contract?

concernedchild · 20/03/2024 08:55

Whaleandsnail6 · 20/03/2024 08:52

How long do you have left of uni and exams?

I think that if you already think your parents will say no, would it potentially make for an uncomfortable living situation in asking?

Uni is another 18 months I think? But my exams aren't that long

OP posts:
concernedchild · 20/03/2024 08:54

GreatGateauxsby · 20/03/2024 08:53

Your maths doesn't add up.

Uni fees come from pre tax salary

So you have £1300 take home.

Your additional qualifications are £650 every month? For how long?
are you actually paying monthly?
and how will it improve your earning potential?

I'll qualify as a solicitor

OP posts:
concernedchild · 20/03/2024 08:54

TigBitss · 20/03/2024 08:52

It's £7800 a year for your exams?

They're about £5000 - but I keep having unexpected expenses. My laptop broke, which I need for uni, I'll have to pay for hotels etc (the second set of exams are only in london, Cardiff, Birmingham and Manchester, and there's no guarantee that my first set of exams will be local because the system is messed up) so in total I'll need about that amount for travel to the exams, being in the city for the exams etc., but I don't want to ask my parents for the full amount

OP posts:
Whaleandsnail6 · 20/03/2024 08:53

Also, you say you are putting money into other savings? Could you hold off on that until your exams are done?

GreatGateauxsby · 20/03/2024 08:53

Your maths doesn't add up.

Uni fees come from pre tax salary

So you have £1300 take home.

Your additional qualifications are £650 every month? For how long?
are you actually paying monthly?
and how will it improve your earning potential?

concernedchild · 20/03/2024 08:52

Peekaboobo · 20/03/2024 08:51

YANBU to ask for financial help but if it would make youu feel like a failure then try to get that money for the exams by other means so that way you won't feel bad.

I don't have any other means. I've considered getting another job in my free time, but it would mean no studying (so I'd be paying for exams that I would fail because I have no time to study for them) and it's against my terms of employment. I've tried selling as much as I can on vinted etc., but it's not getting me very far

OP posts:
Whaleandsnail6 · 20/03/2024 08:52

How long do you have left of uni and exams?

I think that if you already think your parents will say no, would it potentially make for an uncomfortable living situation in asking?

TigBitss · 20/03/2024 08:52

It's £7800 a year for your exams?

Peekaboobo · 20/03/2024 08:51

YANBU to ask for financial help but if it would make youu feel like a failure then try to get that money for the exams by other means so that way you won't feel bad.

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