To ask him to leave ?

He sounds like a spoiled brat. Would you be ok on your own without him though financially?

Me too!

Yanbu - the costs will work out you may be entitled to benefits too.

Well done for being brave you will be much happier now - he reminds me a lot of my ex - only his feelings are important and he treated his 'need' to have fun and relax much more than my needs to sleep during pregnancy

I have ADHD and a child that needs frequent medical appointments. I've never missed one or been late. Nor have my kids ever been late for school. He's treating you very badly, you deserve better.

Disinvited you and stayed out to 6am.

Is he on the gear?

He's going to get as shock when he finds out you & DS need to be housed and he can't dictate he keeps the house and buys you out

Get legal advice.
Don't move out.
He can leave.
Can you find a law firm who offer 1st hour advice for free try
or citizen's advice?
The courts will not see the parent homeless.

I’m shocked he said you couldn’t go out with him. That’s really controlling. Maybe he can go and stay with one of the people who ‘build him up’.

Not being mean to you, but he's a total loser.

It's not helping, it's parenting.

YANBU in kicking him out.

YABU in thinking he gets to keep the house. It's part of the asset pot, including pensions, savings, expensive cars etc. Go speak to a solicitor to find out where you stand, even if you don't go through with it.

YABU in excusing his behaviour as ADHD. I don't see any of that in your examples, only a nasty, manipulative, selfish man.

ADHD isn’t your problem.

The problem is your “D”H is a self absorbed prick.

He sounds like a complete waste of oxygen. Go it alone and your life will be much easier.

Sounds as though he has a lot of growing up to do. Follow through and make him go. He can stay gone and do his growing up somewhere else as you already have one child to look after.

What a prince! He'd happily throw his wife and child out of the house and keep it to himself! A judge might see otherwise. You may not be able to buy him out but he will be obliged to contribute towards his child's upbringing (since he can't be bothered to do any actual parenting).

Ask yourself "what is the point of him?" (popular MN question).
You can also ask him this!

You'd be better off as a single parent as you could just get on with the parenting undisturbed by a useless twat messing you around.

Your tone was harsh? Good. Probably not harsh enough, he sounds thoroughly useless.

You're going to discuss where he stays, I'd suggest the place he stayed until 6am on Sunday morning would be a good start. Get all your financial information in hand and make an appointment with a solicitor, don't agree anything with him regarding future arrangements until you've got all the information at hand about where you stand.

The ADHD is a red herring. He sounds like a useless shit OP.

YANBU at all!!
My DH used to use his epilepsy as an excuse for being a lazy fucker!! Lying in bed because he needed his sleep.
I felt like a single parent and kicked him out!
It was just the wake up call he needed. I eventually let him come home and I can hand in heart tell you he changed overnight. We’ve been married now for 25 years and he absolutely pulls his weight now.
You may not get the outcome I did but either way he needs to go!

@Lmox whose house is it? does he work if he can sleep till lunchtime on a weekday? are you on maternity leave? is he happy to see your child without a roof over its head???

He can have ADHD AND be a selfish, useless asshole.

He's a selfish useless asshole.

I'd get rid of him, too.

It's not right to not let one another have a sleep in, tiredness takes its toll so you both should be getting one, fairly.

Dear god in heaven what an utter prick. My hubs is on the spectrum and has suffered from depression but even at his lowest he would never have done anything like that when DD was young. As PP have said, he's not only weaponising his ADHD to stop you asking for help, but actively punishing you when you push back.

Get to a solicitor, asap. Find out your rights. He cannot make you leave a home and actively make his child helpless, and I'd pay to see the reaction of a judge when he tried to justify it 'buuuut I have ADHD. I neeeeed my bed. She makes me get out of it to look after my child and isn't happy when I stay out on the piss all night, yr h'nour' probably accompanied by some guff about this also being why he shouldn't pay child maintenance.

Seriously, stick to your guns. Here's a hug to get you through the evening.

It sounds as though he wants to live the life of a single Jack-the-lad - so let him - but not without your fair share of equity from the house, child support, pension pot etc!

I hope your tone was harsh OP. I hope it was very harsh indeed.

So controlling and cruel of him to leave you out of the night out.

Completely understand why you're done.