to give my kids so many lifts for this reason?

My friend is in her 50s. Her dad picks her up from nights out and I just think it's the loveliest thing ever. I remember opening up to my parents on the car as a teen, and being helped and looked after but in a grown up way just lovely. You keep doing you! Fabulous mum

That's incredibly beautiful. You're a wonderful mum. Don't ever forget that.

YANBU and I think your DH sounds a bit mean.

FWIW my youngest is now 31,and will never drive, but he lives about 40 miles from me, in a well transport-connected area. He has always been very happy taking himself all over the place by bus and train and has travelled the length and breadth of the country. If he gets a couple of trains and then walks a miles or two, he can be with us in about two hours. Regardless of this, whenever he visits, I almost always drive over to pick him up and then drop him home again. There's something lovely about the two of us tucked away in the car, playing random music and chatting about all the private stuff that might be in our heads. It's like a little confessional, it's a safe place.
If it works for you, don't stop it!

It’s more of a pain in the arse when they’re old enough to go out drinking!! DS1 (now 24) used to phone me at 3,4,5 in the morning to go and pick him and his mates up. He usually had no fecking idea where he was either!
He called me one morning at daft oclock
to be picked up. I asked him where he was. He didn’t know! Asked him what he could see? A roundabout!! I’m like the FBI, I found him every time.
It was annoying at the time but his best mate passed away 3 years ago and I’ll never forget all the laughs taking them to and picking them up from nights out.

@NerdWhoEatsMedlar "Plus they get to decide when to stop the interaction, tell you to bog off home."

Men did in the car too. I'm their mother, not a prison guard!

Car journeys are fantastic opportunities to have conversations with teens. I know a social worker who recommends it. They are more likely to talk as you are not face to face. Keep doing it, sounds like you are doing a great job. Tell your DH it's not forever!

Keep doing what you’re doing 😀. My 16 year old is a pain in the arse, wanting lifts all the time. But like you, we have our best chats in the car.
At 14 he had very poor mental health (suicide risk assessment poor) and would wake me in the night if he was struggling. I’ve spent many a night driving round while he poured his heart out.

Yanbu. Make the most of it while you can.

Ds now drives himself everywhere but I’ve managed to engineer him giving me a lift once or twice a week so I still get my little chats. I’ll miss our time when he goes off to uni.

Aww no, I think it's sweet.

I'm in my thirties and my Dad still offers to give me a lift to things like a job interview,school appointment (of which there are many for my kids)..even kids birthday parties which I dread as I have major anxiety and don't speak the local language well but make sure my kids never miss out.

I'm divorced,but he still offered when I was married.

It's just you being a kind parent and keeping 'in touch' with your child.

My kids do the same while walking which is why I make them walk to and from school daily. It would be easier for me to drive for my own health but then I'd never hear about their day

@Allfur

'Anti mumsnet?' - lots of families don't own cars, and yet still manage to bring up emotionally balanced kids

On a thread about giving teens a lift V not giving teens a lift I think it would be safe for you to assume we are talking about those with cars.

I am in no way suggesting people need a car to raise emotionally balanced kids.

Honestly the lengths people will go to on here to be offended is hilarious.

'Anti mumsnet?' - lots of families don't own cars, and yet still manage to bring up emotionally balanced kids

i do this too and also to know they are home safe

I’m hoping to do this when mine are older. My parents never gave me lifts when I was a teen as they wanted to have a glass of wine and it was embarrassing how many lifts I got from my friends’ parents that were never reciprocated

I used to walk to school, but on Saturday and Sunday, my Dad drove me to work and picked me up. He would pick me up whenever I needed it. He died last year and during those last few years, I ferried him around. Lovely memories, I miss him every day.

Drive your kids and never feel any regrets x

I always gave mine lifts. It's a very anti mumsnet thing to do as we should be teaching them independence apparently. I didn't do it particularly for the chats as we talked anyway but I'm a nice person and I wanted to model kind behaviour to them. They have grown up to be wonderful adults, fully independent despite me driving them places as teens.

The issue here is that your DH seems to be telling you shouldn't drive them, and you want to. Keep doing it.

It's one of the reasons I don't carpool to school.. sometimes the mornings are tricky and I have no idea what worries are going round in DD's head so it's better to allow her a safe transition space so she can pull herself together on the way to school and have a hug goodbye in the car park if she needs one.

DS does a lot of sport and has to take the train, DH goes out of his way and stays late at work so DS can be back in the fold earlier even if that means being in the car.. it has a noticeable positive impact on his mood and energy levels.

I see it as part of my parenting job to
take them to places; all the activities they do (sport, Scouts, etc) are good for them and I don’t want them to be discouraged from doing it. They get the bus to and from school, but we take them everywhere else. They are, however, independent enough that if we are busy they can get the bus if needed. My parents took me everywhere when I was a teenager.

I had 2 teens (now in their twenties) the car is a great place for them to open up. I have always given mine loads of lifts.

I go for in the middle. Bus to and from school. Mix of telling them to use the bus/train and giving lifts. As thinks it's important they learn some self sufficiency and planning to get to places without depending on a lift

This :)

I did this with mine. I've never regretted it.

Do you always make everything about you?