Grey area of group holiday finances

We do group holidays every year and have been for nearly 20 years now.
People do come and go or sometimes have had to cancel through illness but everyone pays the same amount irrespective of how long they stay.

Occasionally we have been able to organise for someone different to take an empty room for one night and they give some money to the person that could stay the full amount of time but that’s an arrangement between them.

I wouldn’t necessarily suggest this just in case they chose someone you don’t know but you could ask around yourself or ask the other couple staying for the full time if they know someone who wants a one night stay.

If not, then it’s unfair I think to pay in bits and pieces, the room is there for them for the period of the let if they want it.

I'm unsure why you would dictate how long, where, when and expense without consultation. If they don't want to go then that's fine.

TBH they sound skint if they share a meal when they go out etc.

Sounds like you were being more than fair tbh. I bet they'd have hung round most of the day Sunday too so get the benefit and only paying 2 nights.

Sorry I've maybe misunderstood do you mean you told them it would be for 3 nights?

I’m really skinny at the moment but I wouldn’t dream of doing this to friends! But I’ve learned that I never book anything until I have everyone’s money in advance. You just can’t depend on people!

Have you heard from the other couple yet? They might feel a bit stuck in the middle.

I know but surely agreeing how many nights is pretty fundamental?

@Stormyweathr regarding the paying for DCs when splitting villa costs, you see it on here all the time. Some people genuinely believe that DCs shouldn't count or should pay half what an adult does, which is frankly bizarre as the rental cost is not influenced by age of occupants.When we have split holidays it's always been about number of rooms used regardless of age of occupant.

Somewhat unrelated to OP but allows her to open the wine 🍷.

I would do a cheery thumbs and say, ‘No worries, I’m sure we’ll catch up [at event] anyway’.

And then step right back. You’ve broken no bridges, and you’ve left the door open on friendship. They’ll no doubt come crawling back on a day or two when they can’t find any accommodation and then you can say, ‘Sorry, Mildred and Gilbert have taken it’.

I don't get the Maths logic on this. Surely its 6 people x 3 nights so £42 per share ?

If you end up paying way more than everyone else make it very clear you get the best room!

I would divide the total price by numbers of nights - in total there are 14 sleeps (6 people for 2 nights then 2 people for 1 night). £688/14 is just under £50 each per night. So your offer of £100 is completely fair

Exactly they thought nothing of it though and just assumed I would be ok with me paying for all the kids as well

mine physically couldn’t come due to the dates and them already being away with their dad

I would go back to them all and say you have given the situation some thought and there has obviously ben some miscommunications. In hindsight you would have all been better booking into a hotel so everyone pays fairly for the nights they are able to come. The current costings are not fair and you can't sublet the room out to someone else for the 1 night it isn't being used. Explain you don't want to create any ill feeling but think it best we cancel the holiday. Then hopefully you can find some friends to fill the empty rooms and have a holiday with them. ALternativel suck up the whole cost and have a lot of space justt he two of you! On principle I would not be subsidising others holidays. I had a similar experience several years ago with a group of women all wanting to arrange a group 3 nights away for milestone birthdays. Slowly but surely we get messages of, sorry can't commit to all 3 nights, I'll just grab some floor space (and not pay). Or I can come for 2 nights so will pay for just 2 , expecting others to subsidise them. When I suggested a hotel where people could pay for the nights they wanted/needed, that didn't go down well with the freeloaders. I just wished them all a great holiday together, but the terms didn't really work for me as it wasn't fair so wouldn't join them. Low and behold the trip never happened.
Cam't stand tight freeloader people.

Originally it was no children. This was close family btw, they discussed babysitters etc without me (as I didn’t need a babysitter for mine) they then decided they would all bring the children instead to save the hassle of organising childcare, some of the children were grown up as well ages varied from 2-21 but even the grown children the organisers decided wouldn’t be paying and they just gave me a price, once I found out all the kids were going I just declined. I was livid though

they probably didn’t think anything of it as every single one of them had kids and even the ones with grown kids then said oh well my grown kids can come if we are splitting the cost

OP the couple have said they aren’t going, I’d leave it at that.

It reads as though you have booked this and then offered the idea "who wants to come along". I wouldn't do this again no idea what's best going forward!