Page 5 | Grey area of group holiday finances

Jadebanditchillipepper · 19/03/2024 23:29

TBH, I think you've dodged a bullet there. They sound insufferably tight and would probably be penny pinching over everything all weekend - down to taking half a tin of beans/a quarter of a bottle of wine from the fridge when they leave.

You have been more than fair and I think you should invite someone else. If they can't find anywhere cheaper (sounds like they won't) and you have filled their space, then that's their tough luck

friendlycat · 19/03/2024 23:12

Think it’s the best thing that they aren’t coming. The quibbles over the money that was completely fair wasn’t going to end in a happy break away. They would have carried on quibbling over other things.

MsMcGonagall · 19/03/2024 23:07

You did the right thing not to cave OP. We were once the couple who booked the big accommodation for a family and friends holiday - various combinations and comings and goings - with everyone else being able to be precise and no more about their share, DH and I ended up paying about double what we should if WE had been precise about our share. Because no-one else was helping to share out the extra costs. The burden of being the one who was responsible and booked the place! And you have booked reasonably priced accommodation in a situation where its the last available accommodation. I hope you can successfully invite friends instead.

MzHz · 19/03/2024 22:56

Is there a 3 night minimum on the rental, if so, your original figures are more than fair in that they offer a discount

slippedonabanana · 19/03/2024 22:45

Are you sure the 'tight' couple were going to stay until Sunday evening? You said it was 'needed' for Sunday during the day. That would mean it wasn't a simple case of 2 nights for them.

PyongyangKipperbang · 19/03/2024 22:44

CJsGoldfish · 19/03/2024 20:38

Hopefully everyone reading this is learning from my experience
I'd never choose, book and pay for a holiday without checking with others first. And then TELLING them the plans and cost. Who does that?

You needed to go somewhere so you chose and booked the accomodation because you had to go there anyway. Then you have tried to subsidise the trip that YOU are taking
If you have all discussed it as a group and thought it would be nice to arrange a joint trip together I'd honestly be pissed that someone thought they'd just go ahead and take control of the joint trip. That's how it's gotta look to them. I doubt it's all about the money. This has to be completely not what they all had in mind when talking about how nice it would be to go to wherever you are going. No one else got any say in when and how and where. Can you not see that you having other plans but wanting some of your costs covered so you've invited others isn't really the fun trip away you all talked about 🤷‍♀️

Well you might be right if that was what happened but it isnt.

The OP, and the two sets of friends are all going to a "thing". They struggled to find accomodation and when something came up, OP booked it. At this point she fully accepted that they may have to suck up the whole cost and was happy with that. However.....it was opened up to the group "We have booked this place, it has room for all of us so if you want to stay it will cost £X per person, up to you, let me know". One lot of friends said "yes thats great" the in laws decided to haggle, instead of what they could and should have done, which was say "No thats more than we want to pay, but thanks". At this point th eOP would have paid the balance or offered it to someone else.

The issue here isnt OP booking it, it isnt the cost, it isnt about how many nights people are staying. Its about the fact that a facility was offered that would cost £X per person for the weekend and was a "Yes please/No thank you" situation that got turned into a haggling situation by cheeky fuckers.

Add into the fact that the cheeky fuckers will still expect to use the place as a base on the Sunday, even though if they had paid for 2 nights in a hotel they would be expected to vacate by 10 am, and not pay any extra for it and is extreme stingy bastard CF behaviour.

Suspect that the OP is a people pleaser thats why she has tied herself in knots over this, and why the in law in communicating with her and not her husband (their direct sibling), because they know she will more likely give in than he will. He has done the right thing by saying "decide by tomorrow or the invitation is rescinded", which actually is more than I would have done.

Original poster

Lalalalala555 · 19/03/2024 22:40

Update: for anyone following along wondering the outcome.
Couple with the quibble have said they are not coming (after a double check and explaining the maths ect).

Thanks for the moral support.
Think what we offered was more than fair, and even if they dont see it that way and act offended. At least i can feel confident after this thread, feeling we were fair with what was offered. Thank you! Has been so helpful. Thank so much to everyone who took time to weigh in and offer perspectives and advice.

:)

OP posts:

Original poster

Lalalalala555 · 19/03/2024 22:35

Itsanothermanicmonday · 19/03/2024 22:32

Haven’t read all the updates but I think a 1/3 split for the weekend is the only fair thing to do regardless how many days/nights everyone is choosing to stay. Your original offer sounds very generous.

Have you all paid to go to a concert or festival or something and can you either cancel the cottage and or cancel the tickets to the event?

If you have offered to pay extra I am also wondering if this is maybe because you have bagged the biggest/fanciest main bedroom in the property? We had one NY break away one couple booked it and said it was X amount per couple. They had booked it and we accepted the price and agreed to go and stay without seeing the room. We were the tallest/biggest people going and had a tiny double room, no outlook and use of a shared bathroom with two other rooms (another couple and a single male friend). The couple organising it paid the same as us. Yet bagged the biggest room, had a private ensuite, fabulous view and a massive superking bed.

No, we actually said we would take two single rooms. The other couples could have the king and double.
Tried to be nice there too.
Because i know we booked it without consultation. Ie trying to make it less of a compromise for others if they wanted to come.

OP posts:

Itsanothermanicmonday · 19/03/2024 22:32

Haven’t read all the updates but I think a 1/3 split for the weekend is the only fair thing to do regardless how many days/nights everyone is choosing to stay. Your original offer sounds very generous.

Have you all paid to go to a concert or festival or something and can you either cancel the cottage and or cancel the tickets to the event?

If you have offered to pay extra I am also wondering if this is maybe because you have bagged the biggest/fanciest main bedroom in the property? We had one NY break away one couple booked it and said it was X amount per couple. They had booked it and we accepted the price and agreed to go and stay without seeing the room. We were the tallest/biggest people going and had a tiny double room, no outlook and use of a shared bathroom with two other rooms (another couple and a single male friend). The couple organising it paid the same as us. Yet bagged the biggest room, had a private ensuite, fabulous view and a massive superking bed.

SauronsArsehole · 19/03/2024 22:21

Stormyweathr · 19/03/2024 16:15

I was in a similar situation where I was invited to a group booking family holiday and was told a set price for a room for me and my partner. I agreed this price however I then found out that the entire group was bringing their children and that the children were going free!! So this was a big big cottage that slept 30 and some couples had 3 children each, it worked out there was 5 rooms that the children would have in total. I was not taking any children with me therefore I then politely declined (it caused a few arguments as I had said yes before knowing this) and I did feel really annoyed and that they were trying to take advantage of me

this is a bit different and I can see their point but also why should you have to foot the bill.

I’ve had this happen too.

my family is 1 adult, 1 child. So I’d only ever need one room, 2 meals, 2 tickets etc.

others families have 2 adults and 2 to 3 kids.

they all thought it appropriate to split via family meaning I’d subsidise all of them.

Italiangreyhound · 19/03/2024 22:17

your friends sound rather unfair, they must know them leaving early will mean you pay more.

I would n't fall out over I but I probably wouldn't go on holiday with them again.

Plus next time I'd get the full amount from each person before booking it.

WorriedMumofTeen16 · 19/03/2024 22:12

rookiemere · 19/03/2024 16:28

I don't get the Maths logic on this. Surely its 6 people x 3 nights so £42 per share ?

Show quote history

OP said the other 2 couples decided not to stay the Sunday night, only Fri and Sat

AliAtHome · 19/03/2024 21:49

Changingplace · 19/03/2024 09:56

They also will benefit from not having to check out at 10am on the Sunday, which would be the case should the cottage have been booked fri and sat only

So they get to hang around on Sunday having a leisurely day before they head off, meaning whether or not they stay the Sunday night they’ve still made use of the fact you’ve paid for that night.

I’d say the price is fixed per couple unless you cancel the Sunday night and all leave 10am Sunday morning.

Although, really you should’ve got complete agreement with everyone before booking, what would you have done if they’d all said no after you’d booked?

Agree with most of this. They are being cheap wanting a discount and expecting you to pick up the slack. It’s not like you can benefit from the room they have used for two nights - and highly unlikely they will have vacated the property by 10am - in which case they go into the third night’s cost.

FinallyHere · 19/03/2024 21:22

I agree with @stichguru but put a slightly different spin on it. You voided and paid because you couldn't find any other options.

You offered the other couples the option, thinking that it would be useful to them and they would contribute to the cost to you.

Win:win

The family couple tried to drive an even harder bargain.

In that situation, I would always turn them down and pay the full cost myself. I absolutely choose not to spend time with people who are so focused on a bargain, to the exclusion of all else.

Firm but fair.

stichguru · 19/03/2024 21:14

You paid for the cottage BEFORE the other couples confirmed. You would NOT have booked that cottage before the other couples confirmed, if you really didn't want or couldn't afford to stay 3 nights in it by yourselves. Given that you did book it first charge other people for what they want to use. You were happy paying X (the full amount for all 3 nights), any less than X you have to pay is a happy bonus, not a necessity. If you'd cared about the money, you would have have to get the other couples confirmed before you booked, or book a smaller place. NO GRAY AREAS!

SuncreamAndIceCream · 19/03/2024 21:04

I think the fact they are not going to come is the best result you can get OP

They sound really cheeky and tight, they know full well how cottage rental works and were going to try to get a cheap deal at you and your DP expense

You know full well it would be a weekend of tiresome quibbling about bills, expenses and costs.

Draw a line under it and invite some friends instead.

AND TAKE THE NICEST ROOM!!! You organised it and are paying the most so it's yours.

IReallyStillCantBeBothered · 19/03/2024 20:51

Lalalalala555 · 19/03/2024 20:36

Thats a phrase to use thanks.

Show quote history

You’ve spent 4 pages responding to posts about this, they have pulled out so leave it at that and go on with your trip. If you can find someone else fine if not it’s what it is.

As you said you don’t want to set the precedent or subsidizing them and as others have said they will probably penny pinch all weekend.

Emotionalsupportviper · 19/03/2024 20:51

Lemonade84 · 19/03/2024 09:47

I think that if you book a holiday for the weekend, the price stands whether you stay for 1, 2 or 3 nights. It's up to them to leave early but they need to pay the total share.

I agree - after all, as you say, they will effectively be getting the best part of an extra day even if they decide not to stay the night.

Whereareallthemillionaires · 19/03/2024 20:50

ok so I’m going to calculate this out on an hourly basis for a bit of fun

Assuming access allowed from 3pm ( some places allow 2 some 4 so I’ve gone mid way ).

Day 1. 3pm Friday to 3pm Saturday = 24 hours
Day 2. 3pm Saturday to 3pm Sunday = 24 hours
Day 3. 3pm Sunday to 10am Monday = 19hours

£740 / 67 hours = £11:05/hour = £265:07/day of 24 hrs

Day 1. All of you there so £265:07/ 3 couples = £88:36/couple

Day 2. All of you there so £265:07/3couples = £88:36/ couple

Day 3. Part a) All of you there from 3pm to 8pm so
5hrs x £11:05/hr = £55:25 / 3 couples = £ 18:42/couple
( Assuming you won’t be chucking people out and they could feasibly stay till 8pm and still get to work the next day )

Day 3. Part b) 8pm to 10am so
14hrs x £11:05/hr = £154:70 / whoever stays

So ignoring the contentious Day3 Part b) for now

The rest of the time can be the same cost to everyone based on hours at the holiday let

All couples therefore pay

Day 1 + Day 2 + Day 3 part a) = £ 88:36 + £88:36 + £18:42 = £195:14 / couple

Day 3 part b) of £154:70 is divided by how many couples stay so just you OP or you and the other couple

Couple 1 pays
£195:14 and leaves Sunday eve

Couple 2 pays
£195:14 and leaves Sunday eve or if they stay for the full let £272:49

OP pays
£272:49 if couple 2 stay on for the full let
£349:84 if you get the last night on your own .

(I’ve rounded up each time so this comes to £740:12)

Remember OP you get to keep all the food in the fridge too
Ensure anyone leaving early tidies their rooms and helps with the kitchen before they leave
( I’m assuming you plan to tidy before you leave )

So that was fun😳

I still think it’s unfair on you OP. It’s not like you can sleep in all the rooms so why should you have to pay.
Or maybe if ( you bring some extra sheets ) you and your dh could try out all the rooms on that last night 😉

I think I deserve a gin now

ABitBright · 19/03/2024 20:42

If they change their minds and accept then ask them to transfer the money immediately.

CJsGoldfish · 19/03/2024 20:38

Hopefully everyone reading this is learning from my experience
I'd never choose, book and pay for a holiday without checking with others first. And then TELLING them the plans and cost. Who does that?

You needed to go somewhere so you chose and booked the accomodation because you had to go there anyway. Then you have tried to subsidise the trip that YOU are taking
If you have all discussed it as a group and thought it would be nice to arrange a joint trip together I'd honestly be pissed that someone thought they'd just go ahead and take control of the joint trip. That's how it's gotta look to them. I doubt it's all about the money. This has to be completely not what they all had in mind when talking about how nice it would be to go to wherever you are going. No one else got any say in when and how and where. Can you not see that you having other plans but wanting some of your costs covered so you've invited others isn't really the fun trip away you all talked about 🤷‍♀️

Original poster

Lalalalala555 · 19/03/2024 20:36

telestrations · 19/03/2024 20:09

The cottage doesn't cost any less if they stay a third or not, you told them this price and they said yes. I'd reply "sorry the cottage doesn't offer a discount for under occupancy"

If they can't accept this they'll be penny pinching the whole trip and you might all end wishing they weren't there even if it meant paying more

Edited

Thats a phrase to use thanks.

OP posts:

Original poster

Lalalalala555 · 19/03/2024 20:35

IShouldNotBeSurprised · 19/03/2024 20:00

@Cottagecheeseisnotcheese I don't think they should let the other couple stay for the 80 pounds per person even if they don't fill the other room. I doubt room price is the only thing they will haggle on. What about a trip to the shop for a few bits or drinks for the weekend? What if they stay until 7 pm, or last minute decide they will sleep over anyway as it's too late to make the drive home? I wouldn't offer it as a gift for a birthday or Christmas, either. If offered as a gift, then will OP have to pick up the cost of everything for them?

Any extra paid for weekend extras will feel like much more if they compromise on the price and don't want to do so. I'd be much more relaxed not having to think about any of that, even if it cost me more money.

Yes. I being able to be relaxed is important. And at peace.
They said no thanks as we said no to 80pp they wanted.
And said theyd find somewhere else.
I know that the local area is totally booked up - hence why we booked something fast rather than a group discussion and decision time.
And also knew this was a financial dice roll in terms of if other people would want to join.

Following advice on here OH has given them til tomorrow to decide if they want to stay for 100pp.
As although they already said no to that, I don't know if they'd want to change their mind after thinking about it. We've explained the maths. I am fairly certain that they will struggle to find somewhere else for the same price or less unless they camp (dont have anything against camping). And also they may change their mind on wanting to miss out on a group trip for 20pp.
But we see.

Either way OH and I are at peace with it being something they can choose to accept or not.

OP posts:

ABitBright · 19/03/2024 20:34

YANBU

Kissmystarfish · 19/03/2024 20:12

Lalalalala555 · 19/03/2024 09:35

Hey.
Looking to see what is considered 'fair' from external perspective.

Ive gota holiday cottage booked for three nights. Fr Sa Su.
Invited friends (two couples).
It sleeps 6.
So theres me and my partner, and then two other couples invited.

We posted in a group chat saying how much it would be each if they wanted to come.
We have done it so that its a set amount, as the cost of the cottage is fixed as booked already and non refundable.

We said it would be 110 each for them.
For my partner and i we decided we would pay a bit more (124).

After posting in the group, one of the other couples want to pay less as they dont want to stay the third night.
They want to pay 2/3 of the cost of 1/6 of the total (if that makes sense).

Its tricky for what is fair. As if they pay 80 instead each, then it means its 200+ each for my partner and I.

Its this wanting to pay for how much someone will be present at the property vs there is already a fixed cost.

Obviously it benefits them to pay less. And us if they pay more.

I don't feel its entirely fair that we would have to pay 3* the amount they pay, for choosing to stay an extra night.
They also will benefit from not having to check out at 10am on the Sunday, which would be the case should the cottage have been booked fri and sat only.

There was no clear consultation in making the booking, we did it after having had a few casual chats about the weekend but not with group consensus. As we are attending an event and the local accommodation had sold out. This one place came up months after so we just booked it.
Hence why we offered it for being cheaper for them.
We didnt know how long they would stay, but they had the option to decide what works best.

Thanks!

So I did some maths.

740/6=124 (per person)
124/3=41 (per night per person)
so if 4 people did 3 nights at 41 per night=492
ans if 2 people did 2 night @41=164
So 492+164=656

meaning you’d have to find 84. Which decided between 4 people is an extra £21 each…..

so why is yours going up to over £200?!?

edit: however my maths might not be mathing so please correct me if I’m wrong!!!