Page 4 | Grey area of group holiday finances

Original poster

Lalalalala555 · 20/03/2024 13:01

Thanks to everyone wishing me a nice trip! Thats really kind!
Hope you all get to have nice trips too this year :)

OP posts:

Original poster

Lalalalala555 · 20/03/2024 13:00

rookiemere · 20/03/2024 12:47

Great news OP and the other friends sound lovely.

I do feel a bit sorry for the ILs. It sounds like their phobia about spending money or being ripped off is stopping them from enjoying life and spending time with relatives.

But certainly not up to OP to subsidise them.

Yeah.
It has been an eye opener for me.
The contrast between how the couples have been is strong.
The couple still coming feel so easy and reasonable and fun. And yeah. Turns out peace is worth guarding.

And its good to know how the other couple operate. Because now I can try to avoid any joint plan making with them. Which benefits us both because I want them to be happy as well as us.
And everyone having peace is important. And I am glad i guarded our peace, rather than people pleased and went along with something we were uncomfortable with.

OP posts:

KTheGrey · 20/03/2024 12:49

Glad it's sorted.

BettyBootsie · 20/03/2024 12:47

Great update - I hope you all are able to have a lovely time

I just know that if the CF couple had eventually decided to accept the £100 offer and come for the two nights, that they would have hung around so long into the evening on the Sunday and would just announce (all planned, of course) "oh it's getting quite late to drive home now, should we just stay after all?"!!!!!

rookiemere · 20/03/2024 12:47

Great news OP and the other friends sound lovely.

I do feel a bit sorry for the ILs. It sounds like their phobia about spending money or being ripped off is stopping them from enjoying life and spending time with relatives.

But certainly not up to OP to subsidise them.

ABitBright · 20/03/2024 12:39

Great update. Hope you have a good trip

Itsanothermanicmonday · 20/03/2024 12:37

Result, enjoy x

3luckystars · 20/03/2024 12:35

Brilliant, hope you have a great time.

Original poster

Lalalalala555 · 20/03/2024 12:35

Update: they're not coming any more
They've also decided after looking for somewhere on their own, they're not coming at all to the trip.

Other couple are still keen to come.
Have asked them if they're okay if we ask other people to stay in the now free room. And said we would run it by them before saying yes to anyone. And the nice couple said dont even bother - they'd love to meet new people.

I'm happy. Will be a great time if its the four of us.
And if other people come for the spare room that's a bonus.

All good vibes now with everyone going.

OP posts:

Starzinsky · 20/03/2024 12:31

£110 is still cheap for two nights. I would make them pay the full price. The price is the price and they can come and go as required.

rookiemere · 20/03/2024 12:08

Workawayxx · 20/03/2024 10:11

I'm a bit late to this but think you've done exactly the right thing. In fact, I think it should have been offered at an equal split regardless of nights spent - it was a fixed cost especially as the Sunday daytime was required by all. I think also you've probably dodged a bullet here and would have had to do the early Monday morning clean up etc!

I'd invite the other friends right now. I can see the couple coming back once they've researched and realised there's no other accommodation and biting your hands off at £100 each!

I know OP has it sorted, but have you noticed it's always the ones moaning about petty things that never actually organise or book anything themselves.

I gave up on the family holidays when one relative would come back with "well we need x,y and z and could it be cheaper." I would be like "Sure why not link me what you've found" which always led to radio silence.

MzHz · 20/03/2024 11:47

Ah, just caught up - at least now you can have the nice room.

Can you invite others?

MzHz · 20/03/2024 11:44

Anameisaname · 19/03/2024 12:44

Do not pay more and take the singles!

If you allow people to pay less then you absolutely get the best bedroom!

Show quote history

Damned right - if you are paying more and they are only there for 2 nights THEY can take the singles.

AND... if they are not planning to leave before 10am on the Sunday, they ARE making use of more time than they are paying for.

Say to them that you have already reduced the amount they are paying and that it's a fixed cost that is already factoring in in the comings and goings.

DO NOT PAY MORE THAN EVERYONE ELSE ONLY TO SLUM IT IN THE SINGES FOR 3 NIGHTS.

Workawayxx · 20/03/2024 10:11

I'm a bit late to this but think you've done exactly the right thing. In fact, I think it should have been offered at an equal split regardless of nights spent - it was a fixed cost especially as the Sunday daytime was required by all. I think also you've probably dodged a bullet here and would have had to do the early Monday morning clean up etc!

I'd invite the other friends right now. I can see the couple coming back once they've researched and realised there's no other accommodation and biting your hands off at £100 each!

springtome · 20/03/2024 10:09

@Lalalalala555 It's so stressful trying to please everyone!

Years ago we booked for siblings and our parents to go away for a birthday celebration. It was treat to parents so siblings groups were happy to split cost 3 ways but one sibling has 3 kids so there was 15 in total which made it really difficult to find and expensive. 12 birth and below was a reasonable price but as soon as we went above 12 the price was almost doubled.

One sibling wanted it as cheap as possible and would have gone youth hostel type places (while property booking but rooms were bunk beds and multi occupied rooms) we suggested the 4 girls top and tail to reduce one room requirement (all three siblings had girls), this was fine for two of us as we do that when we visit each other but other sibling didn't agree to that.

All in all, it was really hard to find a place that suited us all - but at least how we split the cost was never a worry 🤣

Dinkydo12 · 20/03/2024 10:03

Two ways you can go. The cost is the cost whether for two or three nights. Or accept that they pay less and ask the other couple to chip in more. They could of course find other accommodation. It's always difficult with these type of things. You need to get agreement before booking and have their money in your account.

EasterBunnny · 20/03/2024 09:54

As you said it was a gamble booking before getting a firm agreement and advance payment from the other two couples.

Original poster

Lalalalala555 · 20/03/2024 09:44

springtome · 20/03/2024 09:26

There was some discussion, just not specifics. I don't think £220 for a weekend for 2 people is unreasonable so if I had agreed to go away for a weekend and then friends come back with that price I would pay. The fact they are getting a third night is a bit of a bonus. £80 a night would get you a room in a premier inn or a cheap hotel, it won't get you a nice house and all that comes with it.

To those posters comparing it to only paying for what you eat rather than splitting the bill are not getting it. If you eat and drink less, then the bill over all will be less. Paying for what you use is fair.

In this case, the price is the price so that should be split based on people, not nights using it. I know OP said it was an option to only book for two nights, but it often isn't and when I it, I've found it's still the same price as the main cost ie cleaning, bed linen, towels are the same fit the vender if you stop one night or 3. So often the cost for 3 nights is not 3 times the cost of 1 night.

The only difference I would have done in this case was cost per person by room with king size paying more, double slightly less and those in the single rooms less again. It's madness that you are paying more but giving yourself the worse accommodation!

Show quote history

Thanks.
Yes its not as simple as going to a restaurant.

Its we booked somewhere and its a fixed price. As a group we had discussed this trip about going and said we'd find a place. The places were very very hard to come by. We had been looking for about two months, maybe longer, as we'd missed out on booking early ie 10months in advance because at that point hadnt had everyone give a hard yes they want to come for that weekend.

Anyway.
We did the legwork, eventually found a place to stay. Booked it in a panic. Knowing full well people may decide not to come despite saying they did, because that is the way group plans work.

Unless you get everyone to agree and pay up before competing the booking, you're open to roulette on if people will follow through on coming and also on paying.

The thing here is that i knew that was the risk and we chose to take it. And were not saying to them you have to pay even if you dont come.

We approached it as we've booked a place for this long.. If youd like to join its this much. We said we'd take the single rooms and we'd booked somewhere that didnt have three doubles.
The amount we were asking for was fair and did the maths for it.

What happened was one couple thought that then they should pay significantly less and everyone else should subsidise them, because they are not staying for the full time.
They did not take into account the two fees the place charges ontop of a booking. We checked our maths with chat gpt and on here, and we were already more than fair. Ie the amount they should pay for a proportional shorter stay was more than what they said they wanted to pay.

Its stressful because we tried to be more than accommodating in all the variables. And yet they came back saying they would not come unless it was 80pp for them.

We said no.
They are now not coming.

OP posts:

springtome · 20/03/2024 09:26

Bearbooandmiska · 20/03/2024 08:40

You booked it without discussion, so entirely on you.

There was some discussion, just not specifics. I don't think £220 for a weekend for 2 people is unreasonable so if I had agreed to go away for a weekend and then friends come back with that price I would pay. The fact they are getting a third night is a bit of a bonus. £80 a night would get you a room in a premier inn or a cheap hotel, it won't get you a nice house and all that comes with it.

To those posters comparing it to only paying for what you eat rather than splitting the bill are not getting it. If you eat and drink less, then the bill over all will be less. Paying for what you use is fair.

In this case, the price is the price so that should be split based on people, not nights using it. I know OP said it was an option to only book for two nights, but it often isn't and when I it, I've found it's still the same price as the main cost ie cleaning, bed linen, towels are the same fit the vender if you stop one night or 3. So often the cost for 3 nights is not 3 times the cost of 1 night.

The only difference I would have done in this case was cost per person by room with king size paying more, double slightly less and those in the single rooms less again. It's madness that you are paying more but giving yourself the worse accommodation!

Bearbooandmiska · 20/03/2024 08:40

You booked it without discussion, so entirely on you.

ForNaiceHiker · 20/03/2024 08:30

a good sign that a friendship is not really a friendship

is when you find yourself starting a thread about the negotiations and tensions and stressing surrounding the split of holiday costs and posting 78 (78!!) very long posts about how annoyed and stressed you are about it

RestartingLife · 20/03/2024 07:34

Let them do their 2 nights at less cost and don't invite them on any trips ever again.

PeacefulSJ · 20/03/2024 07:01

Lalalalala555 · 19/03/2024 09:35

Hey.
Looking to see what is considered 'fair' from external perspective.

Ive gota holiday cottage booked for three nights. Fr Sa Su.
Invited friends (two couples).
It sleeps 6.
So theres me and my partner, and then two other couples invited.

We posted in a group chat saying how much it would be each if they wanted to come.
We have done it so that its a set amount, as the cost of the cottage is fixed as booked already and non refundable.

We said it would be 110 each for them.
For my partner and i we decided we would pay a bit more (124).

After posting in the group, one of the other couples want to pay less as they dont want to stay the third night.
They want to pay 2/3 of the cost of 1/6 of the total (if that makes sense).

Its tricky for what is fair. As if they pay 80 instead each, then it means its 200+ each for my partner and I.

Its this wanting to pay for how much someone will be present at the property vs there is already a fixed cost.

Obviously it benefits them to pay less. And us if they pay more.

I don't feel its entirely fair that we would have to pay 3* the amount they pay, for choosing to stay an extra night.
They also will benefit from not having to check out at 10am on the Sunday, which would be the case should the cottage have been booked fri and sat only.

There was no clear consultation in making the booking, we did it after having had a few casual chats about the weekend but not with group consensus. As we are attending an event and the local accommodation had sold out. This one place came up months after so we just booked it.
Hence why we offered it for being cheaper for them.
We didnt know how long they would stay, but they had the option to decide what works best.

Thanks!

The amount of events over the years I've ended up paying for.

Life is short.

Pay the money and don't hold grudges and have a great time.

Itsanothermanicmonday · 20/03/2024 06:58

In that case OP you have been generous in the extreme this tight couple would never have been happy whatever even if it was free to them and you were paying them to go with you and all weekend they would be like this food and any alcohol etc etc and penny pinching and getting a free ride with every mortal thing.

Seacatt · 20/03/2024 02:42

Are the nice couple not coming now?