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AIBU?

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Original poster

Grey area of group holiday finances

364 replies

Lalalalala555 · 19/03/2024 09:35

Hey.
Looking to see what is considered 'fair' from external perspective.

Ive gota holiday cottage booked for three nights. Fr Sa Su.
Invited friends (two couples).
It sleeps 6.
So theres me and my partner, and then two other couples invited.

We posted in a group chat saying how much it would be each if they wanted to come.
We have done it so that its a set amount, as the cost of the cottage is fixed as booked already and non refundable.

We said it would be 110 each for them.
For my partner and i we decided we would pay a bit more (124).

After posting in the group, one of the other couples want to pay less as they dont want to stay the third night.
They want to pay 2/3 of the cost of 1/6 of the total (if that makes sense).

Its tricky for what is fair. As if they pay 80 instead each, then it means its 200+ each for my partner and I.

Its this wanting to pay for how much someone will be present at the property vs there is already a fixed cost.

Obviously it benefits them to pay less. And us if they pay more.

I don't feel its entirely fair that we would have to pay 3* the amount they pay, for choosing to stay an extra night.
They also will benefit from not having to check out at 10am on the Sunday, which would be the case should the cottage have been booked fri and sat only.

There was no clear consultation in making the booking, we did it after having had a few casual chats about the weekend but not with group consensus. As we are attending an event and the local accommodation had sold out. This one place came up months after so we just booked it.
Hence why we offered it for being cheaper for them.
We didnt know how long they would stay, but they had the option to decide what works best.

Thanks!

OP posts:
Hollyhocksandlarkspur · 19/03/2024 12:21

When we share accommodation it is always split absolutely fairly noone trying to rip off others and draw lots for rooms so fair if of different size or quality. Be clear it’s for the whole amount or will invite others. Keep it simple.

Original poster
Lalalalala555 · 19/03/2024 12:21

MaggieFS · 19/03/2024 09:52

If you took the risk of booking it without agreement to the costs or number of nights, then I think you have to take their offer.

The thing is I am conflicted because i dont feel happy about what theyre offering. Ie to me we'd be paying 210 and them 80

And at that point i feel like almost bitter?
So would rather ask other friends or pay for it ourselves.

But yeah its more the question is that gut feeling I have kind of wrong? Or fair/ justified.

Its this thing where there is already a preset cost. And they think its per night but theyre going to use it during the Sunday.
:s

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 19/03/2024 12:21

You said it in your opening post, OP, there was no group consensus for this cottage to actually be booked. All of the discussions about prices and how much for each couple would surely have been done beforehand? It wasn't.

Also, your wording that you 'invited' other couples to come makes it sound as if you were paying for the cottage and kindly offering the extra space to others? Again, no real agreement made.

Are the bedrooms equal? Was anything agreed in terms of dates of booking this cottage?

From what you've posted, I think you will have to stump up the extra costs yourself since it's non-refundable. That was such a risky premise without everybody involved being crystal clear and in agreement.

Heartytrousers · 19/03/2024 12:18

Lalalalala555 · 19/03/2024 12:11

Thanks. Why wouldn't you be going on holiday with someone that wouldn't?
Please can you explain? Thanks. :)

Show quote history

I just think if they're quibbling over this now, it won't improve once you're there and all living on top of each other , discussing who bought the marmalade or dishwasher tablets.

Original poster
Lalalalala555 · 19/03/2024 12:17

3luckystars · 19/03/2024 09:51

I don’t think it’s worth falling out over a few pounds.

Any chance you would share the figures here?

Have shared them yes.

Its 740 for the trip.
We did it so it was 124ish for me and my partner.
110 for each other person ie 220 per couple if they wanted to come.

As we organised it and chose without consulting. A bit of a panic book because something became available.
And because it would be nice to have them there.
Ie we organised it so thought its nice to subsidise a bit what everyone else would pay.
But yeah. They then chose not to stay the full time.
Its up to them if they want to take annual leave or not. And they chose not.
Fair enough.

OP posts:
Lifebeganat50 · 19/03/2024 12:16

YABU to be planning to go away with people who are being so ridiculous about splitting the cost….it should have been (said gently) ‘this is the cost for the weekend no matter how many nights you stay”

If you find someone to take the other night, you’re going to get in about people debating what they should pay towards food and drink etc, who’s going to be changing the beds etc

areyoutheregod · 19/03/2024 12:16

No I don't think tis fair what they've suggested. Perhaps ask someone else? I hate this kind of thing and stopped sharing cottages and holidays years ago because of it!

areyoutheregod · 19/03/2024 12:15

If it were me I would just expect everyone to pay a third. If they want a night deducted, they should leave 10am Saturday, and they should clean their room beforehand.

Original poster
Lalalalala555 · 19/03/2024 12:14

Revelatio · 19/03/2024 09:46

If you had all discussed beforehand and agreed the dates and the cottage, then they should pay the full amount.

As you booked it yourselves with no agreement on the cottage or the dates, then you knew you were taking a risk, and therefore the risk is yours. I think you would need to pay the difference and not the other couple as you already told them how much it would be. The alternative is that the other couple don’t go at all and then you would have to foot the whole bill.

Yes I'm trying to figure out if to say no we're not okay with what theyre suggesting. And footing the bill or asking other friends.

Is what they're suggesting fair is what im trying to establish.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lalalalala555 · 19/03/2024 12:11

Heartytrousers · 19/03/2024 12:09

I think they need to pay 1/3 of the total and I wouldn't be going on holiday with anyone who couldn't see that.

I've been on lots of group holidays, but it's always much more, no let me pay, are you sure I don't owe you for shopping, drinks, petrol, than people clamoring to pay less and causing the organiser aggravation.

Thanks. Why wouldn't you be going on holiday with someone that wouldn't?
Please can you explain? Thanks. :)

OP posts:
Original poster
Lalalalala555 · 19/03/2024 12:10

They are related to my partner.
So keeping peace and being reasonable is important.
Hence asking for internets opinion on if im being an arse or not.
Or if they are. Or if we all are.

OP posts:
Heartytrousers · 19/03/2024 12:09

I think they need to pay 1/3 of the total and I wouldn't be going on holiday with anyone who couldn't see that.

I've been on lots of group holidays, but it's always much more, no let me pay, are you sure I don't owe you for shopping, drinks, petrol, than people clamoring to pay less and causing the organiser aggravation.

Original poster
Lalalalala555 · 19/03/2024 12:09

Thanks for all the replies.

So i do understand if they don't come at all we have to pay even more. Or find other people who would be excited to come.

Maths is:
Total is 740.
My partner and I pay 124ish, the others 110.
Was upto them if they wanted to come, and for how long. But this was how much it would be.
(as we'd booked somewhere without consulting/ doing the is this okay thing first)

If they dont come, I understand wed be paying the full or finding other people if I have others that are willing to stay.

It gets complex because the other couple invited, who were fine with the split.. We think would be relying on the couple that have said they're not okay with the cost for car share. ( live in city so dont own car of their own).

What would be a shame is not to see everyone.
As one couple is wanting to lift share with the other, they're all planning to not stay Sunday.
And to be fair, i would want to say it's the same cost for all of them.
Ie the couple that complained shouldn't pay less than the one that didnt.

But i understand that just means that me and my partner then have to pay even more.

Mathematically it would work out
They'd each pay 80pp and wed pay 210pp ish. Which is more than double.

We've suggested they pay 100 and we pay 160ish and we'll see where that goes.

But as the cost is already fixed and has to be paid by someone, if people say they want to pay less it means others have to pay more.

Equally if only one of the couples was coming, we'd said we'd only charge them 110 each irrespective of whether there were six or four people staying.

At this point. Its weighing up just stomaching it or not.
It seems like either one of the couples will be upset, or I will feel a bit bitter about it. And I'm writing to see how 'reasonable' my gut feeling is of feeling its not fair/okay for them to expect to pay £80 rather than £110 and it be fine.

I think we've been reasonable offering a lower price of £100. But now it's just a waiting game to see what they think. And maybe this solution means everyone feels unhappy.

OP posts:
OhmygodDont · 19/03/2024 12:03

I think it’s unfair that they would get a full days use after 10am to leave whenever they want and not have to do the last minute clean and expect to then pay less. Because if the other two couples where not staying the extra night they would have the early leave and cleaning.

Depends how much you like this couple basically don’t wish to remain friends after or not? You also have the risk of the other couple suddenly deciding that actually yeah that sounds good we will leave then too

Ellie1015 · 19/03/2024 11:55

They should be paying for the 3 nights even if they can only use two. Option was £110 pp for 3 nights. Yes please or no thank you. The 3rd night in their room wont be used by you, the other couple or anyone else.

Risk is if they dont come you will have more to cover but they are beyond cheeky to ask.

GasPanic · 19/03/2024 11:11

Suck it up and be grateful that the learning experience didn't cost you more.

Organising group activities with people on very limited budgets is always going to lead to financial stress.

Springcat · 19/03/2024 11:11

They are taking the piss
They either accept the cost you worked out
Or don't go

Nevermind31 · 19/03/2024 11:11

you booked it and invited them after - they could not come at all and you would need to still pay.
however, if you can invite someone else instead I would say… sorry, this is the price for the stay (however long, plus if you leave early you won’t clean, so surcharge), if you don’t want it let me know and we’ll offer it to someone else.

Saymyname28 · 19/03/2024 11:08

"Hey sorry you can't spend the night Sunday, if we didn't pay for Sunday night then you'd have to leave at 10am Saturday, so you're still getting the full days use, if you don't pay for the room then I'll have to pay for your room for the third night, we obviously cant change the total cost for one bed not being slept in for one night, it still costs the same. I think it's alot easier to just split it three ways for the whole booking than dividing the cost over how many hours we all spend there."
I don't think they're being fair tbh. We all know how holiday cottages work, they know the cost doesn't go down by them not sleeping in the bed one of the nights.

Upallnight2 · 19/03/2024 11:04

Like others have said, it depends if it was agreed before you booked it.

But of they pay less, kick them out at 10am, they shouldn't be getting the rest of the day unpaid for

Iftheshoesfit · 19/03/2024 11:01

Well they should pay the full amount

But if it’s some or nothing, you’ll end up covering a higher cost in the end anyway so it depends how much you think they’ll bend

ChateauMargaux · 19/03/2024 10:58

It is going to make things awkward... hut I don't see that as your fault..

ChateauMargaux · 19/03/2024 10:57

I think your numbers are not quite right... even if you assume that you pick up all of the additional costs from this one couple, it amounts to an additional £60 so would bring your and your partner's share to £154 each.

Is there a reason (room size / ensuite) that you choose not to split the cost equally?

Is there a reason why you would shoulder the entire additional cost and not share that with the third couple?

The offer was to share the cost of the cottage for the weekend... the cost is already fixed. They can choose to accept or decline, leaving you sharing the cost between 3 couples or between 2. What other solutions were available / suggested? How much would they have cost?

Maybe a non group message.. hey guys.. sorry you won't be able to stay Sunday night.. the cottage was a 3 night minimum stay and the next cheapest option was £100 per couple per night.. this was by far the cheapest option. This is awkward but I think the only fair way of splitting this is 3 ways.... otherwise we have to pay for your room for the third night. I hope you understand.

LittleLittleRex · 19/03/2024 10:07

If they are expecting the hang about on Sunday at all, rather than leave at 10am, then they are taking the piss. Does the accommodation have a 3 night min stay?

I would say that this is what is on offer, that they agreed to in the initial msg and can they decide today, so you can offer the room to someone else and they can find their own accommodation for 2 nights. You are the one doing the legwork, let them see how booked up everything is, but don't spend hours of your time on saving them a few quid and costing yourself more.

Riverlee · 19/03/2024 10:05

If you all originally had agreed a three night stay, they should pay all three nights.

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