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Original poster

Grey area of group holiday finances

364 replies

Lalalalala555 · 19/03/2024 09:35

Hey.
Looking to see what is considered 'fair' from external perspective.

Ive gota holiday cottage booked for three nights. Fr Sa Su.
Invited friends (two couples).
It sleeps 6.
So theres me and my partner, and then two other couples invited.

We posted in a group chat saying how much it would be each if they wanted to come.
We have done it so that its a set amount, as the cost of the cottage is fixed as booked already and non refundable.

We said it would be 110 each for them.
For my partner and i we decided we would pay a bit more (124).

After posting in the group, one of the other couples want to pay less as they dont want to stay the third night.
They want to pay 2/3 of the cost of 1/6 of the total (if that makes sense).

Its tricky for what is fair. As if they pay 80 instead each, then it means its 200+ each for my partner and I.

Its this wanting to pay for how much someone will be present at the property vs there is already a fixed cost.

Obviously it benefits them to pay less. And us if they pay more.

I don't feel its entirely fair that we would have to pay 3* the amount they pay, for choosing to stay an extra night.
They also will benefit from not having to check out at 10am on the Sunday, which would be the case should the cottage have been booked fri and sat only.

There was no clear consultation in making the booking, we did it after having had a few casual chats about the weekend but not with group consensus. As we are attending an event and the local accommodation had sold out. This one place came up months after so we just booked it.
Hence why we offered it for being cheaper for them.
We didnt know how long they would stay, but they had the option to decide what works best.

Thanks!

OP posts:
Original poster
Lalalalala555 · 19/03/2024 12:47

This reply has been deleted

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Can you explain what you mean?

OP posts:
Blueberrycreampie · 19/03/2024 12:46

Any possibility that the cottage owners could let you stay 2 nights and adjust the price accordingly?

Original poster
Lalalalala555 · 19/03/2024 12:46

ChateauMargaux · 19/03/2024 12:28

Well paying for it yourselves will leave you paying £370 each - so that will definitely leave you worse off!!

Do you have other friends who would come and pay and maybe even bring the couple with no car? If you did that, the £80 might not be such good friends any more.. on the other hand, if they stick to their £80 suggestion, you might not feel that warmly towards them anyway..

This is exactly the problem.
They're family of my partner, saying they are not willing to pay and it has to be less or they won't come.
The other couple are his friends. And they are willing to pay and come.

So, its not just friends. Ie it family that may end up with less warm insides both them and us.
Oh dear!

OP posts:
rookiemere · 19/03/2024 12:46

Would it have been possible to book for 2 nights?

Silvers11 · 19/03/2024 12:44

@Lalalalala555 The problem here is that you booked it without ever getting an agreement on the number of nights they were staying and what everyone was being asked to pay. It's further compounded because you offered them a cheaper rate than it was actually costing, after the place had already been booked. So this is my reckoning

  1. The cost of the cottage is £740 for 3 nights = £246.6666 - call it £247 per night for all 6 of you = approximately £41 each person per night. So £82 per person for TWO nights
  2. They have offered £80 each for 2 nights, so very close there.
  3. Since couple number 3 will need to leave with couple no 2 that means those 2 couples will pay £320 between them and leaving you with £420 for you to pay for 3 nights

Could you drop the 3rd Couple off for a train or something on the Monday, so they could stay over on the Sunday night? Or even take them home yourself, or is it too far in opposite directions sort of thing?

The thing is, you made a unilateral decision and this was always a risk without getting agreement from everyone. So it is difficult.

I think if they don't accept the £100 suggestion ( for each couple, per night), you could

  1. Try negotiating with them, and point out that they can stay longer on the Sunday Morning, so they don't need to leave too early, will have time to do whatever is required to clean up/strip beds or whatever is required in their own rooms and £100 is reasonable for the extra time they will get to do all that?
  2. Accept their offer, suck it up and put it down to experience (yours, for not getting agreement before you booked) and you know for future reference to get agreement on all of that kind of thing before deciding.
  3. Insist on the £100 and probably fall out with them - which as you say they are family, you don't want to do

Hope this all works out amicably

Anameisaname · 19/03/2024 12:44

Lalalalala555 · 19/03/2024 12:29

There is
A kingsize room
A double room
Two singles.

My partner an I said wed take the singles as we booked it.
To try and be nice.
And we said wed pay more, because we booked it without you know having a group consensus on the place.
And then asked if they'd come.

Weve been talking about going for maybe 4-6 months before booking.
Just not solidified details.

Show quote history

Do not pay more and take the singles!

If you allow people to pay less then you absolutely get the best bedroom!

Rosesanddaisies1 · 19/03/2024 12:42

MaggieFS · 19/03/2024 09:52

If you took the risk of booking it without agreement to the costs or number of nights, then I think you have to take their offer.

This. You should have discussed before booking.

Original poster
Lalalalala555 · 19/03/2024 12:40

Ellie1015 · 19/03/2024 11:55

They should be paying for the 3 nights even if they can only use two. Option was £110 pp for 3 nights. Yes please or no thank you. The 3rd night in their room wont be used by you, the other couple or anyone else.

Risk is if they dont come you will have more to cover but they are beyond cheeky to ask.

Ah cool. Thanks for this.
Yes, we already offered a subsidised price.
And then yesterday weeks after we posted the place and costs and offer.

They said they decided to stay two nights so only want to pay 2/3 of 1/6 of total cost or they will not come.

We've offered to do 100pp for everyone else and me and my partner pay 160.

But after that. I think we just say okay dont come.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lalalalala555 · 19/03/2024 12:38

Saymyname28 · 19/03/2024 11:08

"Hey sorry you can't spend the night Sunday, if we didn't pay for Sunday night then you'd have to leave at 10am Saturday, so you're still getting the full days use, if you don't pay for the room then I'll have to pay for your room for the third night, we obviously cant change the total cost for one bed not being slept in for one night, it still costs the same. I think it's alot easier to just split it three ways for the whole booking than dividing the cost over how many hours we all spend there."
I don't think they're being fair tbh. We all know how holiday cottages work, they know the cost doesn't go down by them not sleeping in the bed one of the nights.

Yep that's the thing.
They want the cost to go down for them. And that means up for us. Significantly.

But they still want the benefit of us paying for the third night.

And we already suggested a cheaper price for everyone but us, before we knew they didnt want to stay Sunday.
So my view is we tried to be nice already. :s

Thanks for phrasing a reply.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lalalalala555 · 19/03/2024 12:35

Iftheshoesfit · 19/03/2024 11:01

Well they should pay the full amount

But if it’s some or nothing, you’ll end up covering a higher cost in the end anyway so it depends how much you think they’ll bend

Its not about bending.

Its more about gut feelings, keeping peace, if to invite others instead, if im being reasonable or unreasonable.

I just cant feel comfortable with the amount they proposed they pay after what we offered.

Id rather invite other friends.
Also don't want drama or fall outs.

It just sucks really because either they have bad feelings or i do.
And trying to use the Internet to convince me either im being unreasonable and shouldn't feel like what they're suggesting is unfair.

Or that me feeling what they're suggesting is not fair, is okay.
:s

Ie decision time and how to feel.

OP posts:
rookiemere · 19/03/2024 12:33

I wouldn't have offered them a compromise solution, I've learnt with these things- particularly with relatives involved- it's always the booker who ends up with the sticky end of the lollipop. Oh and I had my VRBO rating trashed as some relatives are unable to clean up after themselves or follow simple key deposit instructions.

Is it possible to cancel without losing money?
If you could that's what I'd suggest and say that everyone should stay in a hotel instead so can sort out their own accommodation costs.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 19/03/2024 12:33

OP, who is going to be organising food and drink for this trip? Is that also going to become a bone of contention?

I do feel for you, I can see how this has happened, but I don't know how you're going to salvage this situation without paying more - or having some very hard conversations with 'short stay' friends. If they hang about on Sunday then that may also upset the other couple?

How close friends are you actually?

areyoutheregod · 19/03/2024 12:33

Honestly I think you've been too generous. You should have just said, we've found accommodation, this is the cost, split evenly, and if you don't want it we can ask others.

Iftheshoesfit · 19/03/2024 12:32

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NeedToChangeName · 19/03/2024 12:31

Easiest option would be (if possible) to amend the booking to two nights, if that's cheaper

But some places charge the same for a 2 or 3 night booking anyway, in which case it's easier to say to them that the accommodation cost should be split equally

Original poster
Lalalalala555 · 19/03/2024 12:31

LittleLittleRex · 19/03/2024 10:07

If they are expecting the hang about on Sunday at all, rather than leave at 10am, then they are taking the piss. Does the accommodation have a 3 night min stay?

I would say that this is what is on offer, that they agreed to in the initial msg and can they decide today, so you can offer the room to someone else and they can find their own accommodation for 2 nights. You are the one doing the legwork, let them see how booked up everything is, but don't spend hours of your time on saving them a few quid and costing yourself more.

Thanks.
There was no minimum stay. But we needed it to be for the three days.

Yes they will no doubt hang around most of Sunday.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lalalalala555 · 19/03/2024 12:29

ChateauMargaux · 19/03/2024 10:57

I think your numbers are not quite right... even if you assume that you pick up all of the additional costs from this one couple, it amounts to an additional £60 so would bring your and your partner's share to £154 each.

Is there a reason (room size / ensuite) that you choose not to split the cost equally?

Is there a reason why you would shoulder the entire additional cost and not share that with the third couple?

The offer was to share the cost of the cottage for the weekend... the cost is already fixed. They can choose to accept or decline, leaving you sharing the cost between 3 couples or between 2. What other solutions were available / suggested? How much would they have cost?

Maybe a non group message.. hey guys.. sorry you won't be able to stay Sunday night.. the cottage was a 3 night minimum stay and the next cheapest option was £100 per couple per night.. this was by far the cheapest option. This is awkward but I think the only fair way of splitting this is 3 ways.... otherwise we have to pay for your room for the third night. I hope you understand.

There is
A kingsize room
A double room
Two singles.

My partner an I said wed take the singles as we booked it.
To try and be nice.
And we said wed pay more, because we booked it without you know having a group consensus on the place.
And then asked if they'd come.

Weve been talking about going for maybe 4-6 months before booking.
Just not solidified details.

OP posts:
ChateauMargaux · 19/03/2024 12:28

Well paying for it yourselves will leave you paying £370 each - so that will definitely leave you worse off!!

Do you have other friends who would come and pay and maybe even bring the couple with no car? If you did that, the £80 might not be such good friends any more.. on the other hand, if they stick to their £80 suggestion, you might not feel that warmly towards them anyway..

Original poster
Lalalalala555 · 19/03/2024 12:26

whatkatydid2014 · 19/03/2024 10:03

So if I’m adding up right the cottage cost £688 for 3 nights. It would have been £229.33/couple but you’ve rounded down to £220/couple or £110 per person for them and you’ll pay £248 for your room. One couple only want to stay 2 nights and only want to pay £80/person. That leaves you and your partner paying £308 for your room. Or do both couples want to pay £80/person and you end up with them paying £160/couple and you £368 as a couple!? Whichever it is it’s cheaper than paying for the cottage alone.

If such accommodation is only bookable for 3 nights minimum then just you could say sorry it’s a split of the cottage for £220 for the weekend and if they’d prefer to leave it/book something else to let you know so you can offer 3rd room to someone else?

Nice maths!
Yeah its only one couple have kicked a fuss about cost.
But i dont want to charge one couple less or more than the other.
Because that's not fair.

It would be we pay about 210 each ie 420 my partner and i.

And they pay 80 each or 160 per couple.

160:420 does not seem fair. When theyre staying 2/3 of the time. And will be using the place on the Sunday as well. Just not the night.

But maybe that is what is fair.
Thats kind of the question.

Its that thing where i dont think it seems fair and so i think id have either a bad feeling about it over the weekend.
Or we ask other friends.
Or just pay the whole lot.

OP posts:
budgiegirl · 19/03/2024 12:26

Tricky one really, as you had already booked the cottage without agreeing, then I can see where they might be coming from. On the other hand, it's not like a hotel where you can cancel one room, them wanting to pay less directly affects how much you have to pay.

If you have other people you could have asked, and you think they'd be likely to come, then I'd just go back to them and say "it's £110 per person for however long you stay. If you don't want come at all, I understand".

ChateauMargaux · 19/03/2024 12:24

Your Maths was wrong to start with which is not helping - £110 each for all of the others each leaves you and your partner paying £150 each - not £124.

£100 each for the others, leaves you and your partner paying £170 each.

£80 each for the others, leaves you and your partner paying £210 each.

Good luck!! (tell your partner to sort it out as it's his relative!)

Total cost is £740 whether you stay one hour or the whole weekend.. booked in a panic as there was no other accommodation ... however, you extended the invitation without checking how much the other people were willing to pay.

Talipesmum · 19/03/2024 12:24

Could you have booked it for just two nights? Was that an option for this cottage? Could you say “we can change the whole booking to two nights only but we’ll have to get up early on the Sunday to leave before 10”.
Or if it wasn’t possible to book it for just two nights then say that, it’s a flat minimum cost.

Original poster
Lalalalala555 · 19/03/2024 12:23

lunchanddinner · 19/03/2024 09:57

close enough to want to spend precious holiday time together

but then this?

Thankfully so far removed from how my close friendships operate

Thanks for replying.
Your comment is really interesting. But I'd like to know what you mean?
Ie if you dont think what i have suggested or said or feel is okay.
Or if the other couple.

Ie how do you think its fair to handle this?

OP posts:
MissAmbrosia · 19/03/2024 12:22

If you have other people who would happily fill those spaces, I would say it's all or nothing really.

caringcarer · 19/03/2024 12:21

MaggieFS · 19/03/2024 09:52

If you took the risk of booking it without agreement to the costs or number of nights, then I think you have to take their offer.

This.