To think change is desperately needed in schools?

I spent my childhood in Canada - lates 90s/early 2000's. I went to a rural school and had about 100 children in each year group, split in to 3 or 4 classes.

When I think of my year group, there's maybe 2 students who I could identify as being obviously autistic. They weren't (as far as I know) diagnosed. Maybe there were others. But the fact was that the other 98 of us all muddled along together. We almost all graduated and went on to be productive members of society. The thought of 'lashing out' in class would have been ludicrous and just not done. Teachers were automatically respected. Detention was not uncommon for minor things (tardiness etc), and the thought of a parent 'kicking off' about it would never have crossed their mind.

I agree with many of the points above - a big reason will be due to lack of activity/discipline/lack of hope and an increase in screens. It seems like a perfect storm and heaven knows what the end game is. I'm so so glad I did not become a teacher...

The approach during covid was to sacrifice children for the good of the economy.

If it happened again I wouldn't bow to pressure to work from home while my primary aged kid was in the background watching tv all day. I would take parental leave and the financial hit and homeschool.

I realise for many this wouldn't be an option financially. But I saw too many middle class 2 high income households do exactly this because it was what they were told. Now wondering why their kid has behavioural issues.

I was lucky enough to have a newborn and be on mat leave during the worst of it. I would absolutely have made the same choice as those parents. It isn't their fault - they took the advice. Next time we need to do things very, very differently!

Sorry for typos...knackered!

Kitkat gate hapoened WAY before the pandemic btw!

Care*

I used to teach. The biggest problem for me was the lack of support from SLT and kids hold ALL the power.
Kids messing around in lessons? ALL your fault.
BUT you shouldn't send the chikd out...no. Your lessons should be that sparkling and engaging that they are comoletely transfixed and facinatibg that they are 109% focussed.
I was once asked to leave a supoly job as a TA as the class were bullying the teacher badly so I stood uo and bollocked them all and sent a few out. Asked a girl to put her kitkat away ..she refused so I put it in the bin.Apparently this was awful of me!
I still do nor regret throwing that kitkat away or bollocking the class and I xare not one jot that I was asked not to come back. Apoarently SLT knew those girls were a nightmare!
I bet mummy and daddy were incenced that the nasty TA violated their precious princesses human rights!

So I showed a united front to help my colleague and this is what happened. So glad im out!

Exactly, people are asking why. We had a major life event only 4 years ago. These children were born during this time. Parents may have WFH so therefore these little babies/toddlers were left to screens and devices. No social interactions with other children their age or learning how social cues work. Lime someone said the early years are the most important to children. Their brains learn the most here. Parents perhaps let things slide easier because them, themselves were stressed due to the pandemic or couldn't be bothered due to being confined in a home.

Sure this was probably happening before the pandemic but I believe the pandemic has accelerated this extremely quickly

Exactly! Having to put up with vile behaviour and gang pack culture while watching every word u say and the pressure from above to be perfect at marking, classroom management and results when trying to get blood out of a rock even in gcse classes is unbelievable!

My friend shared an email exchange she had with her kids teachers. In one of the emails she had written “my son is saying you’re always shouting at children”. That bit was absolutely unnecessary and she should’ve just focused on the issue she had which was a specific incident where she felt her child was wrongly punished, rather than share her child’s critique of this teachers performance.

I can tell by various things she tells me her children are rude to teachers but she’s always got a defence for them and will attack the teachers for basically not being perfect . Her children know their mum will always back them up even when they’re wrong. It’s embarrassing. I couldn’t stand for it if I was a teacher.

I haven’t worked in schools for about a decade and it seems things have got much worse since then but I was quite shocked to hear from a friend recently about when her child was in Year 2 she slapped a TA who was shouting in her face.

I appreciate it’s not great to shout in a child’s face but I was gobsmacked that she was so casual about her child slapping an adult and seemed to play it down and focus on the TA’s role in this.

Her children are now a bit older so this happened about 5 years ago. Perhaps she was embarrassed at the time as she didn’t mention it to me back then. But she didn’t sound ashamed when she told me recently.

You miss my point.2 parents working IS old stuff and now we are seeing the first generation of 'nursery raised' children becoming parents themselves and having no clue how to parent.
To address your affordability point though, in the mid 90s, yes childcare was cheaper but there were no child tax credits to help with childcare

A decent tv programme with discussion on fb etc of best advice for child rearing. No idea why no one’s thought to do this - prob too many uninterested parents or privately schooled children in the top media people.

There was n article in the spectator schools supplement on the school that banned phone use during the school day. Children reverted to normal behaviour of banter, fun, laughing,much less aggravation. Happier.
Allphones were locked into some sort of individual bag til end of school.

My not me! Bloody English teachers

Two parents working is old stuff, as I've posted upthread on this page, so what's happening now is not down to that. One thing about my and my contemporaries' experience of raising children in the mid-90s was that childcare was affordable. True we had middle-class incomes, but it really really was not the issue it is now.

One thing I could imagine being an issue might, just might be a significant mix of childcare every week because of the cost of childcare, e.g. parents/grandparents/nursery/friends. I imply no criticism whatsoever of any of the people involved, but would think consistency is very important.

Phones, iPads, tv

I think part of the problem is t he need for both parents to work.
If a preschool child is in childcare from 8 to 6 five days a week, who is bringing them up? Parenting is largely lear n ed at your mother's knee.We are witnessing the first generation of parents who were themselves raised by nurseries rather than parented, and so have no clue how to be parents themselves!

Yes I think change is desperately needed.

I have two ND (diagnosed) children. I didn't give them TV until well over age 2. We only got them tablets at age 5 and 6 (nearly 7) to meet the requirements of home learning in second Covid lockdown. I really wish we hadn't. They have been hard to police, a cause of frustration and arguments in the house ever since.

I did work part time and use a childminder/nursery and then when they went to school I relied on wrap around school childcare. I've totally cut back on my work so it's school hours only and no more childcare needed. My children struggled to cope with childcare to varying degrees.

They both have learning difficulties, one significantly so. Although both struggle in school there is no bad behaviour in school although plenty at home.

I do a lot to support them.

How do we cut back screen usage now? they go on devoces more than I'd like and I'd agree with pp that it contributes to the problemS we are seeing in schools. I just find it's what they gravitate to and I'm not sure how to change that. A cold turkey, hard line approach does not work with my children. A gentler, slower yet still firm approach will work. Anything abrupt and strict will incite meltdowns and be too challenging to implement.

I'd appreciate advice from anyone who has managed to cut back on it.

They need someone to coo at them, play peek a boo, read their little books to them, sing rhymes, roll a ball with them, show interest when they spot a bird or a worm or a squirrel, or find a pine cone or a special stick.

^

This. Until aged 5 at least really.

but the things I've noticed is they never tell them off even when their behaviour is pretty outrageous and they give in really easily. So if we're out for a meal the kids will be running riot - there are just no boundaries.

^^

Agree with this completely.

Absolutely no parenting going on at all. Good, old fashioned, 'no, don't do that'.

Also noticed people don't seem to correct their kid's speech anymore?? Wtf is that about??

It's an utter race to the bottom. And it's showing.

I grew up in the 90s and early noughties and there were no behavioural problems until at least high school. No diagnosed SEN kids in primary out of 25 kids that I knew of. If I had to guess there was one boy possibly on the spectrum, didn't have as many friends as the rest of the kids and talked non-stop about one subject but he wasn't disruptive.

High school there were a couple kids that we knew had behavioural problems but that's out of what, 200+ kids? Other than that, the worst problems seemed to be a couple of boys who were very attached to their hats and refused to take them off and occasional swearing and talking back, but certainly no physical violence to teachers. That would be absolutely unheard of. Everyone I was friends with had good parents (as far as I know) and it was a good area. I wouldn't like to be in school these days, feel bad for the good kids.

Who is 'they'?

Link??

I was on a bus today and there was a young child yelling and shouting. Both adults with him were on their phones. The child not getting any attention at all or being calmed down. It was unpleasant to listen to but I felt very sorry for the kid.

Agree 100%.

All a baby / toddler needs is a solid relationship with a caregiver, and you don't have to leave home or pay money for that.

Parents have been suckered into thinking their babies and toddlers need all sorts of entertainment and novelty and enrichment. They don't.

They need someone to coo at them, play peek a boo, read their little books to them, sing rhymes, roll a ball with them, show interest when they spot a bird or a worm or a squirrel, or find a pine cone or a special stick.

I have a few friends who are teachers, they are a very hard working bunch and all speak of declining behavioural standards. So how does society or the school implement change? Sadly,I suspect that by the time a child is attending school, it is almost too late for any teacher, by force of will, to change things for the better.
What influence does a teacher have in a system which has been underfunded for decades, and where family life is crippled by the twin evils of poor parenting, possibly issues relating to relationship breakdown, drugs and poverty and the unrelenting exposure to social media, pornography, violence etc etc ?
How is a teacher to do in a class room of 25plus what the parent cannot or will not do in the home? I think most teachers are frightened to death of complaints by parents, or the ofsted inspection, or the unsupportive Head. However the greatest single cause of disruptive behaviour lies with the parents. How times have changed, when i was at school, to have been ‘in trouble’ was something one never spoke of at home, because without any hesitation the response was to support the teacher and admonish the child for a second time. Being in trouble at school was a big deal. Im not suggesting things were perfect, but there was a mentality which was overwhelmingly supportive of the teacher and recognised the need for certain standards to be maintained.
If a child is hungry [as so many little children seem to be] or has not had a lot of attention at home, and has spent far too much time on the internet, often unsupervised and watching inappropriate material, how can s/he make the behavioural adjustments necessary for learning? There are too many distractions and things going on for the child to cope.