To consider having a baby at 44

Your body is doing what it is meant to do- as you approach/enter menopause it is telling you this is your last chance (well a less than 2% chance). But if we followed our bodies we would all have been pregnant about 25 times already during our reproductive life and have many many children

It is hormonal- you will get over it.

In that case I would actually say no even more.

Your DD has been through a lot and the teenage years are coming.

I would just focus on her.

With that age gap they will not even live with each other that long probably. 7 years or so.

I would love on her extra hard and help her navigate life with her father trauma.

Im not even 40 yet.
My baby is 19 years old my eldest is 20 both moved out now im so glad i had both when i did.
Im what MN would call a young mum (not so young now) but pleased i was.
No way would i go through all that again i couldn`t do it at past 35 let alone 44 now ive got my freedom back im keeping it.
Nothing worse than doing the school runs but doing them until 50 60 bloody hell no way.

I've got another 10 years to go before I'm 44. And by that point my DC will be nearly 23 and 20.. I personally couldn't think of anything worse. But it's down to personal choice in the end.

If your DD is seven, she will be at least 9 by the time the baby is born and 11 by the time they are old enough to interact with each other. She will going to secondary school and you will have a teenager and a toddler to deal with at the same time. Possibly the hardest stages and certainly with very different interests/friends.

She will be sitting GCSEs when your second child starts school so you will have 16 more years of uniforms, being tied to school holidays and all the organisation required for school. Plus you will still be running around to clubs with the youngest ages after the oldest is preferring to be out with her friends.

I think the age difference won't work until they are both adults at least. At which time you will be nearly 70!

I'd be worried about your health (if anything happens to you you're daughter goes to your abusive ex), miscarriage or disability. I think at 44 your body is old sadly (to carry a baby anyway). I'd adopt if I was you.

I can't imagine it but then mine will be 20 and 18 when I'm 44.

I do think 44 is too old. It's not old in general terms, not at all, but it's old to have a baby. And I don't think a 7 yr old gets to influence this decision, that's nonsensical.

I'm 38 and have a three year old. I absolutely cannot imagine ever having the energy age 44 to have a small child. I'm absolutely knackered with both kids and definitely ready for the small people phase to be finished.

If you have lots of energy then go for it!

A 5 or 6 year old at 50 - I just don't have the energy for my neighbour's children at this age, never mind one of my own with possible complications. Peri-menopause and KS1 children is a recipt for exhaustion.

A (stroppy, hormonal) 16 year old at 60. Dear god, just NO.

I had a surprise baby at 43. There was a three year age gap with closest sibling. Pregnancy was fine as was the birth…I was high risk because of age although the consultant said I shouldn’t really have been as very fit and healthy. The baby is wonderful and has been a joyful addition to our family. Her siblings love and adore her and that has been lovely to see. I think it has struck me how long it will be till I have free time to myself. My friends are all preparing for menopause with gym sessions and paying of their mortgages and I’m skint and tired!

I would.. if i wanted one and was doing well in life.

There’s nothing wrong with removing your IUD and seeing what happens. But please make sure you’re emotionally prepared that you’re unlikely to get pregnant, and if you do, that it may well end in a miscarriage and/or with various other complications. I know it’s easy to understand in theory but that’s different from being ready for the emotional turmoil each time you get your period and realising that even the faint chance is slipping away. At 44 most women would be advised to use donor eggs.

I had my first at 37 and the second at 43.
I love both dearly but if someone ask me if they should have kids in 40s, I wouldn’t recommend it unless you are a millionaire who can afford a nanny as it’s expensive and tiring!
I’m 50 this year and it is not very fun looking after very energetic 6year old and indifferent preteen when you are yourself suffering from pre menopause… 😫

I think I'd take the IUD out and have lots of sex and see what happens. You'll either get pregnant and it sticks, or you won't. Lots of women do manage to conceive at 44 and if you want another baby with your DP, I'd just try. It probably won't happen, but it might. What will you regret more - trying or not trying?

There's nothing wrong with trying but be realistic.
My friend was trying for a baby at 44 and it didn't happen. She read that the chance of conceiving at 44 was around 3% over the year and that 50% of these pregnancies would end in miscarriage. I don't mean to be negative but it's important not to raise your hopes.

Just because you can dont mean you should.
No thank you.
Ive started to notice that their is a rise in older mums.
Still doing school runs till nearly 60 i want to be on a beach somewhere with a cocktail at 50s 60s with no responsibility.

My youngest was born when I was 40. My reflection at 52 is that her needs are going to mean hands on, in your face parenting for at least another ten years. Of course you can have a baby if you're still able. It's not a decision I would make again

I had my first daughter at 40 and watching at 42. Natural conception, no issues with pregnancy and both are wonderful healthy, happy children. There are a lot of scare stories but there are a lot of really good stories too. It's been bloody brilliant! We're very tired but the youngest is almost 16 months now and we're just starting to feel normal again but I would do it all again in a heartbeat.

Your child has a massively rose-tinted view of what a sibling looks like. They see a playmate and someone they can boss around. The reality is much less quality time with parents and by the time the baby is old enough to join in games/roleplaying etc. the elder child has moved on and wants time and space alone or with friends

I am 44 and couldn't, wouldn't consider it.

I have teens diagnosed in the last 1/2 years with ASD/ADHD and tbh if I was at retiring age and (even more) exhausted the family would be in bits.

Personally I think it's too great a risk. The chances of problems due to chromosomes and other factors are just too high. But up to you in the end.

Do you want to be doing the primary school years in your 50s and high school years in your 60s?
I have to agree with this i mean its not the now its the later aswell.
There are lots of older mums now its normal but i wouldnt do it my baby has moved out nothing could make me go back to them days.
I know mums that have had a baby 44 46 48 (even one at 50 im sorry but thats just not fair on the child)
Just because you can dont mean you should.
Mums & dads are getting older but when is it too old.
You cant help how you feel but really think about it you want some freedom back at some point.
Parenting in to your 60s thats your time your years.
Good luck with what you choose.

I had my second one at 42. Secure financial position, healthy baby.
but at 49 I am so tired, all the time. And even though the kids are at school it is relentless.
if your age gap is small I would consider it, if it is a large gap I probably wouldn’t.

You're 44 now with a 7 yo.
So you were pregnant at 36?

This doesn't read like you met late in life?

You were in your mid/late 30's and didn't try for more kids when it would have been easier.

This sounds more like hormones than you actually wanting a child.

What wait until now if you really wanted two children?