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AIBU?

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Original poster

To consider having a baby at 44

261 replies

littleloopylou · 18/03/2024 11:52

I already have one child whom I love dearly. She desperately wants a sibling.

My partner and I met late in life.

We are financially secure.

I am aware it might not be possible.

OP posts:
Jk987 · 18/03/2024 12:12

I'd stop contraception and see what happens.

Tootsey11 · 18/03/2024 12:11

I wouldn't either, give the best life you can to the one you have. There is no guarantee that your child will get on with a sibling.

Changingplace · 18/03/2024 12:10

Nothing to stop you trying but as you know it may not happen, and IVF is less likely to work if you’re older too if that was something you were considering.

Original poster
littleloopylou · 18/03/2024 12:09

A friend just urged me to do it.

When I see babies, I feel wistful.

The main concerns I have are wrecking my body, having a child with special needs, and not having any free time.

OP posts:
ringmybe11 · 18/03/2024 12:07

Personally I wouldn't. I might be in a similar situation in a couple of years - I'm almost 41 with a 20 month old and DH is 48. We decided to stick with 1 and hopefully DS wont beg for a sibling. We can't face the newborn stage again though and have both managed to resume our careers and maintain some time for ourselves - I don't see how this would be possible with another child/more tired than we currently are.

LoveSkaMusic · 18/03/2024 12:06

I'd go for it, assuming everything else in your life is in a decent enough place to do so.

I would get all the tests though as there are some increased risks with pregnancy in your 40's.

I wish you the very best of luck with it!

Adhdorlazy · 18/03/2024 12:05

Go for it. If I was in your position, I’d definitely have another.

i think it all depends on how you feel about it. What is worrying you?

Perfectly reasonable to expect that you’ll still be fit and healthy when your child is in adulthood.

user1492757084 · 18/03/2024 12:05

Go for it if you have the right partner.

heldinadream · 18/03/2024 12:03

Absolutely nothing wrong with you trying OP. No-one's business but yours. Best of luck! Flowers

LostittoBostik · 18/03/2024 12:03

Do you want one? What your other child wants is much less important. You will be raising the child.

ComtesseDeSpair · 18/03/2024 12:00

I think that plenty of people have babies in far less ideal circumstances and think nothing of it. 44 isn’t particularly old: I don’t think I know anyone who chose to have a baby younger than their mid thirties and several who were late thirties / early forties with their first.