To have a baby my grown dd doesn't want me to have?

This isn't about you being an older mother. Sorry if that hit a nerve, but there's no need to be rude.

Yeah, you don't have a clue really, do you?
Get over yourself.

Yeah, you don't have a clue really, do you? You've taken this as some insult to your age. Nobody cares what age women have babies, we all know it's common for women to start families later.

This particular woman has a grown up child and grandchild. She's entitled get pregnant, but what's the point in chiming in if you're unable to empathise with the daughter here? This isn't about older mothers.

Dh has 2 uncles a couple of years younger than him and it never bothered him, nobody gives it a second thought and they're as close as ever.
Even when he introduced them to me and said these are my uncles, it didn't occur to me that they were his age they were just nice people. Families are all different my dad's sister is 16 years older than him and her children (my cousins) have children my age, I just see them as
cousins.

I find it really interesting to read how many posters seem to find this particularly unusual when it used to be quite common (at least based on my own family tree).

One woman had a daughter when she was 18 (or 16). That daughter has her first child when she’s 18 as well. The mother has a few other children. One is born when she’s 38, 40…

my grandmother was the second youngest of 7. So when her eldest brother became a grandfather she had her first child.

the generational patterns were even more extreme in the case of older widowers getting remarried (to younger wives).

There's a lot of nonsense on this thread. OP, you're not an old woman. Many women are trying for their first child at your age, and time after time, MNers congratulate them or offer them moral support. There's no such thing as 'your daughter's turn to be a mum' - by having another baby you aren't taking anything from your dd. You are a fertile, sexually active woman, as is she. It's not unreasonable that you should both have babies.

It is embarrassing. I had many people comment on this when I was younger. I think alot of PPs are probably older mums who are maybe a little offended by the DDs reaction. But its not really about the OPs age in my opinion. Its about the family dynamic and that having more DCs after GCs really isn't the norm at all. OP is free to have kids at any age, but I also think the DD is free to have her own feelings about the situation. She's the one now affected by this very strange family dynamic that I dont think OP has really even considered. DD also may feel its the OP being the jealous one, its DDs time to be the mum and have the babies and maybe she feels OP has taken that from her

Also Op why have you waited until its your daughters turn to be a mum to get pregnant again?

Yes, it sounds awful but I have to agree. I’ve only known a couple of people in that situation and they found the whole ‘grandparents having babies’ and ‘auntie/uncle younger than the niece/nephew’ thing really weird and embarrassing. I don’t think it’s something I could do to my own kids even if I wanted another child.

My mum was 18 when I was born so was technically still young enough to get pregnant when I had my own child at 25.

I honestly cannot imagine how I’d have felt, being in my 20s married with a baby, with my mum/DC grandmother suddenly announcing she was pregnant, that I was getting a sibling after 20+ years an only child, that my child was about to have a baby aunt/uncle. Honestly I think I would also be completely floored by it. Especially if I had no clue or inkling it was even a possibility that she wanted another baby after 25 years and becoming a grandparent.

She will probably come round in time. But I’m surprised at the amount of posters acting as though she is being evil/awful/vile. Her reaction is human.

I agree, the op has ruined the dynamic most daughters have with their daughter and taken away a lot of the expectations she would've had of this chapter of her life.

She's got every right to be upset, she's allowed to feel however she feels, most siblings are affected by another sibling but that doesn't mean she gets a say anymore than she'd get a say in a sibling 2 years younger that she hated and wished she didn't have.
You can love all your children but they don't have to love each other.
Maybe her dd will be jealous and upset if she has another and she'll deal with that at the time but being 23 doesn't give her anymore leverage than a jealous sibling of 5.

Well, I had my daughter in my early 40s and I completely agree that the daughter's mixed/negative feelings about this are understandable. I also understand why OP wants to have a baby, but I don't think the "she's lost her babysitter" "she's entitled" "she's awful" comments really take on board just how confusing this situation must be for her older daughter (and possibly later on her granddaughter).

Sorry I have to go against the grain here and agree with your DD. Might get alot of stick but couldnt care, I am that girl who has aunts younger than her and its WEIRD so I get her reaction!! Its not about jealousy at all. When my mum started having kids I feel like that shouldve been the time for my grandad to say OK maybe im done now. But, NOPE, he had 3 more kids and now I have 3 aunts younger than me!!! I know someone who was actually pregnant at the same time as her DD, people looked at them like the clampits. Sorry but my opinion if youre becoming GPs then id accept my child bearing days were over. Iv had 3 miscarriages so understand the longing for more but still couldn't put my kids through this. Sorry OP. Its done now though, so im sure your DD will come round

Willing to get if it WAS a 15 year old, you'd still call her selfish and whatnot... so...

THIS. This thread is so upside down. Somebody even called her wicked. I had to reread the OP and check the DD wasn't actually King Herod.

Truly bonkers. A young mother has just found out her mum is having her (half?) sister. Of course she's not thrilled rigjt off the bat, fuck me!

Nothing to do with her. I'm guessing she's worried that the babysitting etc will stop for her.

I’m old! But I too am shocked by such a vitriolic bitchy pile on. Where is the empathy?

Young mother finds her own mother ‘starting again’ (in her mind). Of course she’s going to be a bit displaced and upset. Just because she’s 23 doesn’t mean anything. She’s known her mum as one solid stable support all those years, and now that’s gone.

She may be feeling a mix of anger, jealousy, disappointment, grief and anxiety about her role and future in of this. I really feel for her.

I'm sorry but your DD is just gonna have to grow up and suck it up. My DH has 3 grown up daughters from his 1st marriage who are 37,35,32 and then our DS who is 6yrs. His oldest DD has 2 children who are 15yrs and 10yrs and his youngest DD has 2 children who are 10yrs and 5yrs so my DH has 3 grandchildren who are older than our DS. This is just what happens with 2nd chance families.

Let me guess - before you became pregnant you doted on your granddaughter, probably doing more than you should?

Your daughter needs to grow up and be happy for you 🤷‍♀️

Selfish girl. At 23 she really needs to grow up. I’d expect this kind of behaviour from a 15 year old but she’s a grown woman that should be happy for her mum.

To me it totally reads the mum had a kid when she was very young and now lives with a different man and they have a new baby together.

So if you dont live with your parents, they die, you have no right to be sad because you are an adult living your life? Just because she does not live with her Mum does not mean she does not have a bond with her which will completely change now.

So? That doesn't mean she's not allowed to be shocked and upset.

I moved out at 22 and was an only child. If I was a parent to a toddler at that age my mum had announced she was having another baby I wouldn't know what to think!