Cheap engagement ring? Would you be bothered?

Oh @Ratfinkstinkypink I'm so sorry. 😞

Don't know what mine cost as DH surprised me with it, I admit my heart sank when I saw the box as I wanted to choose my own, but the ring he picked is beautiful and really suits my finger and I absolutely love it.

The resale value of diamonds is shockingly low. I loved the idea of a vintage ring too, so it meant I could get a ring that I love to wear whilst being cheaper.

I got a 1ct, platinum band engagement ring which I wear every day and I adore! I was over the moon that DH went for a second hand ring and saved a fortune in the process.

@doppelganger2 but there’s also a large number of posters who think grown up women shouldn’t ever expect gifts for birthdays, Christmas, Mother’s Day and should be grateful for a card so if someone did get lovely gifts you’re called materialistic just because you have a husband who wants to demonstrate love by making a woman happy. If people don’t want a ring then fine but I can see many saying “oh just something cheap - I’m not worth more”.

Don't cripple yourself on a ring, but a bit of value shows you plan to stick about.

What’s cheap to one person will be expensive to someone else. I wouldn’t have wanted my husband to get into debt for an engagement ring

I didn't have an engagement ring but my wedding ring cost less than £25, we were marrying because he was dying and the cost of the ring was immaterial to what lay ahead.

I think it’s nice for a man so spend a significant part of his budget on such an important gift for his future wife

I think the point is that clearly not everyone thinks it's an 'important' gift!

Totally depends on your definition of cheap. Mine was cheaper end of the scale compared to friends in early 2000s but it was about a month’s take home for dh at the time - £800. I love it - very simple and dainty. My wedding band was cheaper at £200 and I bought dh an Xbox for our new home. 9 years later dh bought me an eternity ring which was more expensive but we could afford it.

I think there’s a balance but context is everything and if you can’t afford food then buying an expensive ring is madness.

I love the idea of a ring being an investment and something I can hand on to my dc.

I didn't get one at all as we couldn't afford it. Been married a long time.

Marriage is about a lot more than a piece of metal on your finger.

No, I wouldn’t be bothered. My engagement ring cost £100 because we were teenagers at the time.

20 years later and we’re still together and happily married. That ring is extremely precious to me.

We didn't bother getting me an engagement ring - i'd rather pay £1K or whatever it would cost off the mortgage than have it sit on my finger doing nothing

Having said that I do have tiny fingers & did get a less plain wedding ring (not expensive)

I never had an engagement ring.
Wedding Ring cost about £25 from Argos.
I recently broke it - and haven't replaced it yet.
I'm not a jewellery person tbh.

I have an expensive ring and no I wouldn’t have accepted a cheap ring. I was financially stable and a good earner myself so I would have only got engaged to a man who was similar and it would have been rather odd and telling if he’d then produced a cheap ring.

As usual on mumsnet there’s already a lot of nasty comments about being materialistic 🙄. My husband chose a beautiful ring which I adore and will last a lifetime, it makes me happy every day and I get so many comments on it. He saved up and delayed buying himself treats to get it for me, which I think is a lovely way to start a marriage.

I think it’s nice for a man so spend a significant part of his budget on such an important gift for his future wife, provided he can afford it. We had a lovely wedding/honeymoon and a beautiful home so we certainly didn’t forgo anything for the sake of a diamond.

As for the person who said they’d love to see a study of the relationship between ring cost and marriage longevity 🙄🙄🙄 I don’t think that’s anything to do with it, if anything I think it can be the inverse if a man has plenty of spare money but isn’t bothered to spend much on his future wife it’s not a great sign. We’re really happy together and the couple I know who are constantly on the rocks is one with a cheap ring.

We bought my first one with nectar points from argos. Have since upgraded but I've still got the first one. I don't wear it because its white gold and needs re-plating.

Spent a lot on my wedding ring though, it's 950 palladium with white and yellow diamonds, and blue and pink sapphires.

We bought my first one with nectar points from argos. Have since upgraded but I've still got the first one. I don't wear it because its white gold and needs re-plating.

Spent a lot on my wedding ring though, it's 950 palladium with white and yellow diamonds, and blue and pink sapphires.

I’m not bothered about a ring. In fact I’d hate to wear something on my hand worth a decent amount of money cos I would live in fear of losing or damaging it, especially as my hobbies involve animals or my hands in an engine bay (not at the same time, no animals get oily lol).

What matters is how he treats me.

Depends what you mean by cheap. if your partner earned £200k and they spent £200, I'd question that. But for me, an engagement ring was a symbol of our commitment, the value didn't matter. I liked that my DH chose it, and he got an ethical choice of diamond which was important to me.

Mine cost £2.50, I cannot wear it, but I have kept it. It wasn't the ring, it was what it meant. 25 years later it has not been replaced.

Both of my grannies had wartime utility jewelry for their wedding rings, it's made of basic metal but both marriages ended with the deaths of my respective grandpas.

Don't get sucked in to marketing nonsense. Diamonds do not equal love.

I don’t care what anyone else has or spends. Mine was cheap stone but gold. But I don’t wear it or my wedding ring because I can’t stand anything on my finger. Still married over 30 years.

If I was young, just starting out, buying a home together etc, then I would be happy with a Haribo. Now I'm older I wouldnt accept a proposal with a cheap ring. For me to be interested he would have paid off his mortgage and should have a well paid job and plenty saved for the pension pot. A cheap ring would mean they aren't in an equal position to me fiancially.

Exactily.

Depends what you mean by 'cheap', really.

I'd want a ring I really loved and which was wearable for every day. Looking online I can see plenty of rings from high street chains that are around the £300 mark that look absolutely fine to me and I'd be more than happy to wear one of them. Equally, I don't wear yellow gold and I know plenty of people who wouldn't have £300 sitting around spare to spend on a piece of jewellery, so if my partner was skint and could only manage a £50 silver ring with a cubic zirconia in, that would be fine provided I liked it.

If I was marrying a multimillionaire, I'd assume they'd spend a bit more. But I don't like big, blingy rings at all. Looking online now, most of the ones I actually like are between £300 and £2,500. So a £10K rock would be absolutely wasted on me!

I suppose it exposes your own character.

If you're looking at it like you're about to embark on a lifelong journey and whatever is spent on the ring isn't spent on a house/wedding/honeymoon/life...

Could be that you believe the hype around diamonds and think what he spends equals what he sees you're worth (materialistic)

We used a haribo ring originally (didn't wear it, too sticky!), Then I searched for the ring I wanted to wear for the rest of my life and we paid for it as a couple. Then we dod the official engagement with the ring and kept the haribo as a keepsake. As it turns out, I'm not materialistic, I'd rather us have the money for our life together vs a ring that won't hold its worth and messonite diamonds don't cost that much! win win, Instead we saved up, went on a month long honeymoon and both have memories to last a lifetime and a ring that looks the part but didnt cost the earth.

I old and jaded, but I really don't understand why engagement rings are still a thing.

A piece of jewellery you're going to wear forever and you let someone else choose it. Whether you like it or not, it's a symbol of "ownership". There's a reason male engagement rings have never taken off. And the whole cost thing that comes entirely from an advertising campaign. I'd love to see some analysis of cost of engagement ring v success of the marriage.

So many problems with the whole thing.

But, no I wouldn't have a problem with a cheap ring if it came from a recognition that there are so many more important ways to demonstrate love and to do with the money. Obviously general tightness is not endearing