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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DH cant come to this

463 replies

KatieBr · 18/03/2024 07:59

So I am working away in London for a few nights (never had to before so don't really understand the rules)

DH said as neither of us have been to London, he could join me (obviously pay for his own transport) but surely he wont be able to stay in my hotel room?

OP posts:
Zapss · 18/03/2024 08:13

How do you think naughty people manage to have a one night stand on a work trip?

BarrelOfOtters · 18/03/2024 08:12

Absolutely ok in both mine and dh’s Jobs. I’m public sector he’s private. As long as he pays his own expenses.

Candleabra · 18/03/2024 08:12

Seems very controlling. I wouldn’t want someone accompanying me on a work trip.
If he wants you to experience London together then book a leisure trip.
London transport is well signposted and easy to use, you’ll be fine.

Grumpsy · 18/03/2024 08:11

Why would you want to take your DH to a work event? It would be an unnecessary distraction surely. Plus in my role, if travelling early you would be expected to log on remotely and work, not do a leisurely tour of the museums

GRex · 18/03/2024 08:11

Just ask, it should be fine as long as you attend meetings alone and pay for his breakfast and transport. One of the perks of travel has always been tacking an extra day or two on around a trip and using it for sightseeing.

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 18/03/2024 08:11

Look up your companies travel policy. It will state in there. Personally most places I have worked would not see an issue as long as the fee for the hotel room does not increase with an extra person staying and any costs incurred by your DH such as breakfast, are settled up separately.

The tube is easy once you know how. There are a number of videos on YouTube that can give you the basics.

EmmasDilemmas · 18/03/2024 08:10

Would be fine at my work and my husband’s work too - so long as any additional costs are paid by you personally and you meet all the work commitments including (if appropriate) dinners and networking in the evenings. If there is nothing required outside 9-2 then sounds like a nice chance for you both to see London either side of what you need to do workwise. But agree with others, read the policy / ask you manager for advice if there isn’t a written one, just in case.

Kinsella1 · 18/03/2024 08:10

araiwa · 18/03/2024 08:02

No he definitely can't go.

Against company policy

Gross misconduct

What an odd post. You don't know where op works.

My company has a forum every year and partners are allowed to go.

AlisonDonut · 18/03/2024 08:10

KatieBr · 18/03/2024 08:07

I was fine until I mentioned it to DH, he was like do you really want to get on the tube to central London by yourself, I wouldn't recommend it!

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Even London School kids get the tube. It is perfectly fine.

Lifebeganat50 · 18/03/2024 08:10

KatieBr · 18/03/2024 08:07

I was fine until I mentioned it to DH, he was like do you really want to get on the tube to central London by yourself, I wouldn't recommend it!

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Does he usually question your competence as an adult in this way?

Picklestop · 18/03/2024 08:09

I have travelled a lot with work, as has DH and we both have had colleagues that have also travelled a lot. We have never joined each other’s trips and I would say it is rare to see anybody do this, but it happens sometimes. I have never known it to be against any rules, but I think you should find out if there is are any plans for evening dinner and drinks with your colleagues whilst on the trip, it would not be appropriate to bring anyone along if so and it is generally a good idea to show your face if there is something on.

Revelatio · 18/03/2024 08:09

Just read your update. Is your DH usually like this? He sounds slightly controlling, wanting to come on your work trip and putting you off going into London on your own.

Original poster
KatieBr · 18/03/2024 08:08

JustMarriedBecca · 18/03/2024 08:06

I travel with work and I would be expected to log on remotely the day I arrive and work and also afternoon post conference, or even be in the bar to network after.

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i dont think it is like that, it is a training event the following day thats all.

OP posts:
Revelatio · 18/03/2024 08:07

If it’s the night before your work thing, it might be seen as odd you bringing your partner down, wouldn’t it be better to do it after the work thing?

Why don’t you want to go into London by yourself? Aren’t you staying in central London?

Original poster
KatieBr · 18/03/2024 08:07

NoSquirrels · 18/03/2024 08:06

In that case I doubt there’s an issue.

But don’t be intimidated by ‘central London’ - it’s not scary, I promise. It’s just busy, that’s all.

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I was fine until I mentioned it to DH, he was like do you really want to get on the tube to central London by yourself, I wouldn't recommend it!

OP posts:
GinBlossom94 · 18/03/2024 08:07

I'm going away with my DH on his work trip soon, I just pay for my own food, hotel isn't more expensive to have 2 people in

JustMarriedBecca · 18/03/2024 08:06

KatieBr · 18/03/2024 08:04

No, not got anything planned for the day I arrive, just 9am-2pm the following day and during that time DH can please himself.

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I travel with work and I would be expected to log on remotely the day I arrive and work and also afternoon post conference, or even be in the bar to network after.

HesterRoon · 18/03/2024 08:06

Just say to your company is it ok if dh comes along-can’t see what they’d have against it.

NoSquirrels · 18/03/2024 08:06

KatieBr · 18/03/2024 08:04

No, not got anything planned for the day I arrive, just 9am-2pm the following day and during that time DH can please himself.

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In that case I doubt there’s an issue.

But don’t be intimidated by ‘central London’ - it’s not scary, I promise. It’s just busy, that’s all.

araiwa · 18/03/2024 08:05

olympicsrock · 18/03/2024 08:04

@araiwa - how would you know what OP’s company policy is?

How would anyone on mn?

HesterRoon · 18/03/2024 08:05

If it’s premier inn, it’s normally the same, he just has to pay for his breakfast. I tagged along to Japan on my dh’s work trip, just paid for my flight and meals as room was paid for!

FredaFox · 18/03/2024 08:05

Depends on the occupancy of the room, if a double I see no issue but he will have to pay his breakfast
I would check your work policy but if imagine most would be fine, just pay any additional charges yourself

Createausername1970 · 18/03/2024 08:04

I guess it depends on the company, but when DH had to go away with work when we were home schooling DS, all three of us went. We just paid the difference.

Original poster
KatieBr · 18/03/2024 08:04

NoSquirrels · 18/03/2024 08:03

It depends.

Are you expected to take part in stuff evenings etc and are there more people than just you going, or is it literally just normal working hours from a London base for a couple of days?

In scenario one having your DH tagging along could be unprofessional.

No, not got anything planned for the day I arrive, just 9am-2pm the following day and during that time DH can please himself.

OP posts:
lifebeginsaftercoffee · 18/03/2024 08:04

It would be absolutely fine in any job I've ever had, as long as you asked permission first and he didn't just rock up.