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Friend mad because I sat down to have coffee

208 replies

trekking1 · 17/03/2024 15:57

Please tell me if I am being BU or is she.

Made plans with two friends to go on a walk this morning. Me and one friend arrive on time, the other one is late. Neither of us had coffee this morning so we sat down in the nearest coffee shop and told our friend to meet us there. She arrives, orders coffee and food (this info will be important later) and after we go on the walk. Everything was completely fine during the walk, but when I got home I received a fuming message from her!

She said that we knew she was broke and that's why she wanted to go on a walk and it was really insensitive that we sat down to have coffee forcing her to spend money. I responded no one forced her to have anything as she could have just had water and that if I need coffee because I haven't had one this morning, it's unreasonable to expect I'm gonna give up having one because of her.

Her reply was that she felt forced to order something because the staff would judge her. I told her I used to work customer service so I can guarantee you they don't care if one person among a group of 3 does not order anything. Then I asked her if she is so broke, why on earth did she order coffee AND food?😂I got no reply.

OP posts:
KreedKafer · 17/03/2024 17:27

Did she expect you both to just stand in the street waiting for her? She’s an idiot. When you texted to say ‘meet us in the cafe’ if she really couldn’t bear to go into a cafe without having coffee (and food!) she should have just said “I don’t fancy a coffee so text me when you’re done and I’ll meet you outside”.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 17/03/2024 17:23

Why are people insisting the OP doesn’t like her

Well if this happened to me and one of my friends I wouldn't be posting it on here for others to ridicule her. That's because I like my friends.

Geebray · 17/03/2024 17:22

She is a flake. Who is now deflecting on to you for her over spending.

Time to dial down contact!

PinkIcedCream · 17/03/2024 17:20

If friend was genuinely broke she wouldn't have ordered a coffee AND FOOD.

If she's struggling to curb unnecessary spending, then it's her responsibility to find a solution.

It's totally unreasonable to expect your friends to go without just to suit your situation. After all, the OP only had one coffee and not a full 3 course meal with copious booze!

OP. I'd be giving the friend a wide berth if I was you or in my case, I'd tell her exactly where to stick her whining.

trekking1 · 17/03/2024 17:17

TheTimeIsNowMaybeNow · 17/03/2024 17:07

Was she the only one who ordered food?

Yes

OP posts:
Whycantiwinmillionsandsquillions · 17/03/2024 17:14

Very odd.

MySillyDog81 · 17/03/2024 17:14

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Notonthestairs · 17/03/2024 17:13

She's cross with herself for spending money and rather than address that she's redirected her anger towards you.

If she's a good friend I'd ignore the messages (a bit late now I know) but don't engage further.

benjoin · 17/03/2024 17:13

trekking1 · 17/03/2024 16:09

Honestly, it's because she is always going on about being broke, but then literally 5 minutes later asks me to go on holiday with her next month? So I can't really take her broke claims seriously anymore!

Don't go on holiday say you don't want to pressure her into spending

benjoin · 17/03/2024 17:12

trekking1 · 17/03/2024 17:08

No, she is single

Then she's just trying to blame you for her poor life choices

mrsdineen2 · 17/03/2024 17:09

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Are you on the wrong thread?

trekking1 · 17/03/2024 17:08

benjoin · 17/03/2024 16:39

Does she have a controlling arse of a boyfriend who she has a joint account with?

No, she is single

OP posts:
TheTimeIsNowMaybeNow · 17/03/2024 17:07

Was she the only one who ordered food?

trekking1 · 17/03/2024 17:06

BoredAuditor · 17/03/2024 16:53

How old is she? Being curious as she sounds like a child

30+

OP posts:
Dweetfidilove · 17/03/2024 17:04

Why are people insisting the OP doesn’t like her? She just sounds immature and wet and OP says, why buy not just one, but two things if you’re that broke?

A joint holiday would be I’ll-advised.

BoredAuditor · 17/03/2024 16:53

How old is she? Being curious as she sounds like a child

Blondeshavemorefun · 17/03/2024 16:48

Agree is that broke she would have ordered just a coffee for £3 or so

Not a cake /Sarnie as well

rookiemere · 17/03/2024 16:48

oh and forewarned- do not go on holiday with her !

SpringSprungALeak · 17/03/2024 16:44

trekking1 · 17/03/2024 16:10

In that case, I would have still bought the coffee, but had it to go.

@trekking1

then tell her that if she comes back to you again!

she's a melt anyway, she didn't need to even order a drink when she joined you both, let alone food. That's all on her, not you,

she needs to take responsibility for her actions, not blame everyone else!!

Notwhatyouwanttohear · 17/03/2024 16:42

Ridiculous how people are jumping on the op.

Her friend can't be that broke to order a coffee AND food.

A laughing emoji is hardly rubbing it in her face.

PersephonePomegranate23 · 17/03/2024 16:41

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How did you come to that conclusion? Wouldn't most people in the postiton have just joined their friends and waited for them to finish without buying anything? If anyone asked, a 'I've had enough coffee this morning' would have sufficed, surely?

benjoin · 17/03/2024 16:39

trekking1 · 17/03/2024 16:09

Honestly, it's because she is always going on about being broke, but then literally 5 minutes later asks me to go on holiday with her next month? So I can't really take her broke claims seriously anymore!

Does she have a controlling arse of a boyfriend who she has a joint account with?

hopscotcher · 17/03/2024 16:37

I don't think it sounds as though OP doesn't like the friend. Friend's behaviour this morning was odd. Going on about being broke (as OP says friend does) is irritating. Friends do sometimes have annoying characteristics which cause us to question our reactions.

Mountainpika · 17/03/2024 16:37

trekking1 · 17/03/2024 16:32

To be clear, I didn't laugh at her for being broke, I laughed at her bizarre message. I mean she really claimed with a straight face that I forced her, a grown woman, to buy coffee and food!

Come on now. Admit it. You had a pistol in your coat pocket pointed at her. And a hole in the pocket to squirt the water through.

MySillyDog81 · 17/03/2024 16:33

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