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Friend mad because I sat down to have coffee

208 replies

trekking1 · 17/03/2024 15:57

Please tell me if I am being BU or is she.

Made plans with two friends to go on a walk this morning. Me and one friend arrive on time, the other one is late. Neither of us had coffee this morning so we sat down in the nearest coffee shop and told our friend to meet us there. She arrives, orders coffee and food (this info will be important later) and after we go on the walk. Everything was completely fine during the walk, but when I got home I received a fuming message from her!

She said that we knew she was broke and that's why she wanted to go on a walk and it was really insensitive that we sat down to have coffee forcing her to spend money. I responded no one forced her to have anything as she could have just had water and that if I need coffee because I haven't had one this morning, it's unreasonable to expect I'm gonna give up having one because of her.

Her reply was that she felt forced to order something because the staff would judge her. I told her I used to work customer service so I can guarantee you they don't care if one person among a group of 3 does not order anything. Then I asked her if she is so broke, why on earth did she order coffee AND food?😂I got no reply.

OP posts:
ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 17/03/2024 18:49

She wanted coffee and food but just used you as an excuse to order it.

puzzledout · 17/03/2024 18:42

WigglyVonWaggly · 17/03/2024 18:40

She was late and always is: why did she simply expect two people to just stand around outside waiting about for her? You decided - in her absence - to do something to suit yourselves. Nobody forced her to order food that she didn’t want. She’s ridiculous!

This!

Late people are so fucking irritating!!

WigglyVonWaggly · 17/03/2024 18:40

She was late and always is: why did she simply expect two people to just stand around outside waiting about for her? You decided - in her absence - to do something to suit yourselves. Nobody forced her to order food that she didn’t want. She’s ridiculous!

DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 17/03/2024 18:23

Your chum reminds of clowns that worked in our team and a fa mily friend whom I steer clear of

Allwelcone · 17/03/2024 18:22

You could say, if you value the friendship enough for the price of a coffee "Hi F, coffee on me next time"? That way you're not saying sorry but showing kindness which may help her see her ridiculous behaviour more clearly.

PossumintheHouse · 17/03/2024 18:20

Whatever the issue is, it isn't the coffee.

LuckySantangelo35 · 17/03/2024 18:17

She sounds like a right silly fool

Elphamouche · 17/03/2024 18:15

Funnily enough this reminds me of an old friend of mine. Also like a PP initial beginning with A!

No you aren’t BU. If she really felt she had to buy something she could have got a bottle of water or a carton of juice that would have been less than a coffee - let alone food! I am usually that person, I’m not a coffee drinker anyway, but if I’m not watching the pennies I’ll get a hot chocolate. If I am and I need a drink I’ll get water.

MorningSunshineSparkles · 17/03/2024 18:13

I can’t understand why anyone would make a post laughing at their friend, and nor can I understand ordering coffee if you’re broke. However the way you talk about someone that you say is your friend makes it clear the contempt you hold her in.

trekking1 · 17/03/2024 18:07

nightmareXmas · 17/03/2024 17:57

YANBU. Your friend sounds a right pain. Does she often turn up late? That alone would drive me insane, let alone the bizarre behaviour with the coffee / food / message afterwards. If she had a real problem she should have confronted you then and there, or better still, turned up on time.

Yes she is literally always late

OP posts:
MonsteraMama · 17/03/2024 18:03

Sounds like she's got a bit of a case of Main Character Syndrome. Imagine thinking the staff at a coffee shop give a single solitary fuck what you're doing.

Tiddlywinkly · 17/03/2024 18:02

Notonthestairs · 17/03/2024 17:13

She's cross with herself for spending money and rather than address that she's redirected her anger towards you.

If she's a good friend I'd ignore the messages (a bit late now I know) but don't engage further.

This

nightmareXmas · 17/03/2024 17:57

YANBU. Your friend sounds a right pain. Does she often turn up late? That alone would drive me insane, let alone the bizarre behaviour with the coffee / food / message afterwards. If she had a real problem she should have confronted you then and there, or better still, turned up on time.

loobylou10 · 17/03/2024 17:56

@MySillyDog81 you've got deleted posts all over Mumsnet today - what is wrong with you?

BarbieDangerous · 17/03/2024 17:53

Why do people take it so seriously when you use 😂 on MN? Get a grip

penjil · 17/03/2024 17:52

I'd tell her to find someone else to go on a walk with.....bye.

Wouldyouguess · 17/03/2024 17:48

trekking1 · 17/03/2024 17:30

But I didn't post to have people ridiculing her, I posted to ask if I am being BU or is she

Oh come on, you totally knew she was being unreasonable and posted this for fun. You dont seem like you are a nice friend, maybe cut ties and focus on people you dont find ridiculous.

easylikeasundaymorn · 17/03/2024 17:40

knowing how lukewarm most places serve their coffee I would have thought by the time she'd queued up to buy hers yours would have been drunk anyway and you'd be ready to go! So she could absolutely have got away with not buying coffee, the staff wouldn't have given a shit, and, as you say, there was no reason for her to buy food as well! I assume she didn't apologise for being late either?
Sounds like a CF blaming you for her lack of will power!

AngryBird6122 · 17/03/2024 17:39

@trekking1 did she have a go at the other friend too or just you?!

trekking1 · 17/03/2024 17:37

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 17/03/2024 17:28

How late was she running? I'd assume not very if you were still sat drinking coffee and had enough left for her to feel like she should order one too

20min

OP posts:
Whatthefrance2024 · 17/03/2024 17:34

That was exactly my thought, why order both? Surely she could of just got the cheapest thing in menu.

walkerscrispsarethenuts · 17/03/2024 17:33

She's ridiculous.

She shouldn't have been late and this wouldn't have happened.

Why should you be waiting around for her?

You then sent her a message to say you'd be in the coffee shop waiting for her.

At that point she could have replied saying she has no money so will let you know when she arrives and she will wait outside.

She chose to go in, order a drink and food!

Hannahoo · 17/03/2024 17:31

What on earth is MySillyDog81 on? Can't see any of the messages but I can only imagine considering every single post has been deleted!

trekking1 · 17/03/2024 17:30

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 17/03/2024 17:23

Why are people insisting the OP doesn’t like her

Well if this happened to me and one of my friends I wouldn't be posting it on here for others to ridicule her. That's because I like my friends.

But I didn't post to have people ridiculing her, I posted to ask if I am being BU or is she

OP posts:
sparepantsandtoothbrush · 17/03/2024 17:28

trekking1 · 17/03/2024 16:10

In that case, I would have still bought the coffee, but had it to go.

How late was she running? I'd assume not very if you were still sat drinking coffee and had enough left for her to feel like she should order one too

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