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AIBU?

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Original poster

'Tell me a joke'

216 replies

Woopzies · 16/03/2024 20:44

Had a work meeting yesterday. Whole team present including boss.

Boss, in a funny mood, goes 'tell me a joke.' One by one, everyone told their joke. We got to me and I went totally blank, followed by histerics because I don't know any jokes.

I hadn't realised until then that I actually don't know any jokes. The logical side of me says that it really isn't a big deal but the other side of me feels like there's something wrong with me for not knowing any jokes. AIBU?!

OP posts:
ClemmyTine · 16/03/2024 22:42

A man walks into a pub and says to the barmaid 'can I smell your fanny?'
The barmaid says ' NO YOU CAN'T '

Man replies ' oh, it must be your feet then'

Mummyofthewildones · 16/03/2024 22:38

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Cliff.

katmarie · 16/03/2024 22:37

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea.

What do you call a deer with no legs and no eyes?

Still no idea.

AccidentallyFabulous · 16/03/2024 22:33

hereforit3 · 16/03/2024 22:29

What do you call a man with a spade on his head?

Dug

What do you call a man without a spade in his head?

Douglas

PassingStranger · 16/03/2024 22:33

Man walks into a bar. Ow it was an iron bar.

pocketaces · 16/03/2024 22:32

Man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says "this is the pig I sleep with when you have a headache"

His wife looks up and says "I think you'll find that's a sheep"

The man says "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep"

RiftGibbon · 16/03/2024 22:32

Why did Susan fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.
(Pause)
Knock knock
-Who's there?
Not Susan

I know its wrong but it is quite funny

MissingMoominMamma · 16/03/2024 22:31

What do you call a donkey with three legs?

A wonky.

hereforit3 · 16/03/2024 22:29

What do you call a man with a spade on his head?

Dug

SuperstarDeejay · 16/03/2024 22:28

If you're ever caught on the hop again, OP, you can ask Siri/Google Assistant on your phone and they'll spit one out for you.

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 16/03/2024 22:28

A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a beer.

The barman says 'we don't serve string in here, you'll have to leave.'

The string goes outside and twists itself around and around and messes up its hair.

It goes back in and orders a beer again.

The barman says 'weren't you just in here, you're that piece of string, aren't you?!'

The string says 'no, I'm a frayed knot!'

Cyclealong · 16/03/2024 22:28

What do you call a man with a rabbit up his arse?
Warren

Cyclealong · 16/03/2024 22:27

What do you call a man with no arms and legs in a bath?
Bob

AccidentallyFabulous · 16/03/2024 22:26

What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk

ghislaine · 16/03/2024 22:26

What has six wheels and flies?
A bin truck.

And my favourite one for posh company:

What goes hic, haec, hoc and stumbles?
A drunk Roman.

AccidentallyFabulous · 16/03/2024 22:26

What's brown and sticky?

A stick

thistimelastweek · 16/03/2024 22:26

What do you call a man with a car on his head?

Jack

Cyclealong · 16/03/2024 22:25

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Lovingtheglitter · 16/03/2024 22:24

Itoosurvive · 16/03/2024 20:59

A woman walks into a pub and tells the barman that she'd like a double entendre, so he gives her one.

This made me snort with laughter thank you

WearyAuldWumman · 16/03/2024 22:24

What do you call a man with a paper bag over his head?

Russell.

Paintmybathroom · 16/03/2024 22:23

Why are pirates called pirates?

Because they aaaaarrrrrrrrrrgh 🏴‍☠️🦜

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 16/03/2024 22:23

How can you tell if there's an elephant under your bed?
Your nose is touching the ceiling.

thistimelastweek · 16/03/2024 22:23

Horse walks into a bar with a set of jump leads.
The barman says, 'I don't mind the long face but don't go starting anything '.

hereforit3 · 16/03/2024 22:23

My favourite thread yet 🤣

EffortlesslyInelegant · 16/03/2024 22:20

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A misery-plopper in the wild! Used to be rarely seen but now thriving on MN Grin