Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

'Tell me a joke'

216 replies

Woopzies · 16/03/2024 20:44

Had a work meeting yesterday. Whole team present including boss.

Boss, in a funny mood, goes 'tell me a joke.' One by one, everyone told their joke. We got to me and I went totally blank, followed by histerics because I don't know any jokes.

I hadn't realised until then that I actually don't know any jokes. The logical side of me says that it really isn't a big deal but the other side of me feels like there's something wrong with me for not knowing any jokes. AIBU?!

OP posts:
NoCheesesForUsMeeces · 16/03/2024 23:41

Nieces current favourites:
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
A DoYouThinkHeSawUs

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh

OchonAgusOchonOh · 16/03/2024 23:39

AlizeeEasy · 16/03/2024 23:38

I still don’t get it?!?!

Show quote history

Me neither?

VenetiaHallisWellPosh · 16/03/2024 23:38

What cheese can hide a horse?

Marscapone.

AlizeeEasy · 16/03/2024 23:38

ThatshallotBaby · 16/03/2024 23:35

Two nuns in the bath.
One says to the other
Where’s the soap?
The other replies
Yes it does, doesn’t it

Took me years to get it Grin

I still don’t get it?!?!

minisoksmakehardwork · 16/03/2024 23:37

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

Station11 · 16/03/2024 23:37

ThatshallotBaby · 16/03/2024 23:35

Two nuns in the bath.
One says to the other
Where’s the soap?
The other replies
Yes it does, doesn’t it

Took me years to get it Grin

I don’t get that.

MartineBIT · 16/03/2024 23:35

My go-to joke for situations like this is “what did the number 0 say to the number 8? [fashiony voice] Great belt, darling”

Simple, works on all ages and won’t offend anyone.

ThatshallotBaby · 16/03/2024 23:35

Two nuns in the bath.
One says to the other
Where’s the soap?
The other replies
Yes it does, doesn’t it

Took me years to get it Grin

Motheroffourdragons · 16/03/2024 23:32

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on behalf of the poster.

cannaecookrisotto · 16/03/2024 23:30

What can a snowman smell?

Carrot

Emmadaily · 16/03/2024 23:30

Paddy and Murphy sitting in a pub they start to unwrap their sandwiches.
The barman says oii you two you can't bring your own food in here
So paddy says to Murphy hey Murphy let's swap

gettingolderbutcooler · 16/03/2024 23:29

Silverumbrella · 16/03/2024 22:03

The man who invented predictive text has sadly died.
His funfair is next monkey - may he rust in piss.

🤣🤣

Volbeat · 16/03/2024 23:27

Knock knock

Who's there?

Arthur.

Arthur who?

Arthur fuck sake, wrong house number

HeadacheEarthquake · 16/03/2024 23:26

Why aren't there painkillers in the jungle?

Parrots et em all

whatsappdoc · 16/03/2024 23:20

I went to the zoo yesterday. It only had one animal, a dog. It was a Shih Tzu.

Lookatyounowlookatme · 16/03/2024 23:20

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Boo

Boo who?

It’s only a joke, no need to cry

My 5 year olds fave and literally the only one I could think of, you have my sympathies op, I’d die of embarrassment

Beakerbrain · 16/03/2024 23:17

What do you call an Irish man with two panes of glass on his head?

Paddy O'Doors

What do you call a pile of cats?
A meowtain

Why did the hedgehog cross the road?

To see his flat mates

Why did the hedgehog cross the road?

To show his mates he had guts

CoatRack · 16/03/2024 23:14

A man is out drinking and vomits down the front of his new shirt. He says "Dammit, I can't go home like this, my wife will kill me."

The bartender says "Put £20 in your pocket and tell her a drunk puked on you and gave you the money for dry cleaning". The guy agrees and goes home.

His wife sees him and asks what happened. He says "A drunk guy puked on me so he gave me £20 for cleaning". She says "Ok but why are you holding a £50?"

"Because he also shit in my pants".

OnlyFannys · 16/03/2024 23:12

Knock knock
Who's there
Yoda lady

YourSpleenIsDamp · 16/03/2024 23:11

Cyclealong · 16/03/2024 22:27

What do you call a man with no arms and legs in a bath?
Bob

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs swimming around in a pool? Clever dick.

YourSpleenIsDamp · 16/03/2024 23:08

Why did the wine waiter get fired from the nudist camp? He kept walking around with a Semillon.

HappiestSleeping · 16/03/2024 23:06

How many men does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but he'll hold it up and wait for the world to revolve around him.

HappiestSleeping · 16/03/2024 23:05

How many goths does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they prefer to sit in the dark.

WhateverMate · 16/03/2024 22:50

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Oh FFS must you? 🙄🙄

Using that poor girl's death to make some sort of 'point' and spread misery on this thread, is pretty low.

Other threads are available if this one offends you.

nadine90 · 16/03/2024 22:44

Why did the scarecrow win an award?
For being out standing in his field
On accepting the award he said “Hay, it’s in my jeans”