To feel like a minger at the dentist

I'm sorry but if you don't bleed...what exactly is the signs you have gum disease? Did the dentist do that check where they stick the metal hook down your gum and give you a grading of 1, 2, 3, 4 - 4 being very bad a sign of gum disease?
I am wondering if they are trying to see you extra services...when I get bad disease my gum's bleed.

Chew gum (sugar free)
Plaque-disclosing tablets
Water flosser daily
Check your vitamin b12 and iron levels - linked to gum health

I wish I could find a dentist who has the ability to tell me that there is a problem with my teeth without making me feel like an absolute failure and not want to go back. My son has SN and on more than one occasion I have had to stop the dentist pushing him close to tears. The same with hygienists - what is it about the job that gives them this superior edge. I also think there is a lot of upselling. I look after my teeth - do all the suggested things but was told by my NHS dentist that if my plaque didn't reduce by my next visit he would stop treating me (knowing that it is impossible to go elsewhere because of the lack of dentists).

Its not your fault.

My DH is like you - he has gum disease, sees a periodontist regularly, and spends ages brushing, flossing, using his teeny brushes. It is just bad luck/genetics.

I on the other hand brush twice a day, never floss, and don't have any problems.

You are not a minger, but you need to accept your dental health is going to take more time and money - I would suggest seeing a specialist periodontist (but you still need to see your normal dentist too unfortunately!).

OP, what is your actual diagnosis ?
What type of periodontitis?
Generalised or localised?
What is your stage and grade? Is it stable or unstable?
Do you have any risk factors? (diabetes or smoking).
Once you have that, dentists on MN can advise you further.
Mouthwash is clinically useless by the way. Plus mouthwashing after toothbrushing is actually detrimental to oral health as it washes /dilutes away the optimal fluoride composition of the toothpaste you should have used.

Start with googling the modified bass technique and get to grips with that. Then you need a mouth map plan from the therapist /hygienist with which TePe brushes to use where. Improving your periodontal health is all about those two things -modified bass tech of brushing and the correct TePes, occasionally flossing if the spaces are just too tight for a pink TePe.

As an aside, we have to record oral hygiene status in your clinical records. Any patient with calculus (tartar) with or without plaque, will be recorded as ineffective plaque control (or poor oral hygiene as you've read). Not to record this at every examination is professionally negligent.

If you smoke, the very best thing you can do for trying to be to stabilise your periodontal condition is explore smoking cessation. Your dentist can signpost you to local services.

If you're diabetic, have a think about whether it's controlled or not because that has an enormous effect on periodontal health.

If no one has mentioned it yet look up oil pulling. You basically swish coconut oil around in your mouth for 15 mins in the morning. Works wonders

Maybe try xylitol gum after every meal? I feel for you, I've got sjogrens and so struggle with oral hygiene as I can't produce enough saliva.

Google Topsmile https://top-smile.com/?gadsource=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIgIC7idv4hAMVwo9QBh1lvAspEAAYASAAEgLNMPDD_BwE. We use it all the time it's a game changer!

I have often wondered if - the more often you see your hygienist, the more often you NEED to see your hygienist. I now go twice a year instead of 4x. The only difference seems to be an extra £180 in my pocket.

Certainly, many dentists but not all are pushing the upsell these days.

I changed my gum disease from a 4 to a 2 by using a water flosser, not a posh one, just a £50 from Amazon job.

Do you sleep with your mouth open? Learning to put your tongue in the roof of mouth during the day and keeping it closed will prevent your mouth drying out which causes plaque. At night you can use mouth tape to keep your mouth closed and stop the saliva drying out

Not a minger just unfortunate. Sadly gum disease runs in my family. I have to go to the hygienist every 3 months. Our practice has a scheme where you pay monthly for the 4 visits a year which makes it more affordable than £60 a time. Might be worth asking if yours does something similar.
Make sure you are using the biggest interdental brushes for your gaps this might mean using different ones for different gaps.

You haven’t done anything wrong and you aren’t a minger. “poor oral hygiene” is something that has been lazily written if you told them that you brush twice a day and use floss tools etc.

say to the hygienist at the outset - I am meticulous with brushing and flossing and do not know why I have so much plaque.

i had the same problem no matter what I did plaque would build up. I was getting upper dental implants and the surgeon said needed treatment for my existing teeth for a better outcome for the implants.

I had a periodontal treatment that was like and extreme hygienist treatment I needed to be numbed and the cleaning went well below the gum line. Since that course of treatment I rarely have any plaque in fact my hygienist is always impressed with how good my teeth and gums are.

So perhaps that’s what would help you?

I had an NHS check up a couple of years ago with a dentist at the surgery I go to and as soon as I walked in and sat down he was talking to me about the teeth whitening procedures that they offer there.

I’m in my 50’s and luckily have always managed to hang on to nhs dentists even though I’ve moved a lot….never once have I been referred to a hygienist, I do wonder if it’s become a thing because of private care?

I've heard using Xylitol after each meal can be helpful

There is a special kind of shame attached to not looking after your teeth correctly, isn't there?

But, take heart OP, I have talked to a dentist who was doing research into the heritability of the oral microbiome. It's definitely a thing. Some people just have a more difficult job to do when it comes to keeping on top of oral hygiene, through no fault of their own.

You sound like you are trying your best. Keep your head held high, you are not a minger!

Some people are more susceptible to gum disease and plaque build up. You clearly have very good oral hygiene. The hygienist is rude. They are meant to find it satisfying scraping it and cleaning it off. My dentist always says that anyway. And they would never write or say I had poor oral hygiene. Just tell me how to fix the issue. Even though I definitely have done. They need a nice bedside manner. Get a new hygienist.
Did they say in which teeth you have gum disease? The deep cleaning is great. It's really the only treatment to keep gym disease at bay, so take it.
And don't ever brush just after eating. Don't rinse your mouth out with water after brushing, just use chlorhexidine mouthwash. You can also use cosodyl gel on the diseased gum.

I found this interesting- a lot of information I never knew abut real health. It might be worth listening to. Andrew Huberman is a professor at Stamford University.

https://www.hubermanlab.com/episode/how-to-improve-oral-health-its-critical-role-in-brain-body-health

Mine has suggested it for gum issues, to get rid of remaining bacteria between teeth.

You’re not a minger. My dental hygiene routine is the same as yours, and every check up, the plaque has built up again - the last time within a couple of weeks! I had a virus a few months ago, and it seemed to attack my salivary glands so I’ve suffered from dry mouth since then. What has been helping my dry mouth is Oralieve gel and luvbiotics oral probiotics. I’m hoping in turn, they might reduce the build up. I’ve had the same said by dentists, assuming I’m not flossing etc but it’s not true. I tell them I am and they don’t really know what to say. I guess they assume I’m lying.

OP I could have written your post myself

It's very disheartening and I'm a bit too old to feel scolded by a dentist in her 20's

I have my check up and hygiene together and am still out within 15 minutes but I'm always left feeling like I could have done better

I use dental silk tape mornings
Interdental brushes evening
Elec brush twice a day , mouthwash after lunch at work

Don't feel like I can do much more apart from reduce sugar etc

Most dentists don't really recommend mouthwash as toothpaste is higher fluoride and you want to let it sit on the teeth. You can rinse with it at another time of day to freshen and sometimes I'll hear them recommend a higher fluoride one for between brushing if a patient has got a high decay risk, or a short treatment one like corsodyl for certain conditions.

It's probably not going to help op that much as it doesn't sound like a decay issue as much as a plaque build up / gum problem.