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Original poster

To step in regarding 7yo's clothing choices

169 replies

Ilovechocolate87 · 15/03/2024 22:16

DD (7) has rather a habit of bunging on random clothes together with a crazy mix of colours and patterns, often with lots or clashing going on.I have gently tried to guide her before into maybe putting plain top or bottoms with a patterned top or bottoms but haven't pushed the issue if she has seemed even abit reluctant and I've always tried to let her make her own clothing choices where possible, ever since she was a toddler and began having preferences.

I grew up with a very controlling dad and am keen to not be that sort of parent to my daughter.I have had the odd blip where I have got abit annoyed at her (for example the day a couple of years back when she was all set to go to a mermaid party in her Ariel costume accessories then at the last minute pulled it all off in favour of just plain clothes) but mostly have been fairly flexible.

However i know i probably shouldn't compare but it seems that everyone else's kids her age are always in quite well balanced/matched outfits colour/pattern wise.Not sure if the parents are pushing or guiding them alot with what they wear or if they just naturally happen to understand more about what clothes match others.

I just wonder now she is getting abit older if I should be taking abit more ownership over trying to influence her decisions abit more (not what to buy, just what to wear with what) as i'm also conscious that i don't want her to grow up like I did without any hint of fashion sense, or how to style my hair etc, as i wasn't taught those sort of things and ended up always looking abit odd compared to my peers.

What is everyone else doing/not doing?

OP posts:
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InWalksBarberalla · 15/03/2024 23:16

I'd let her get on with it, and snap some photos. I miss those days so much - as mine have decided to go the mainly black route now. Apparently 'popping' is a bad thing.

PostItInABook · 15/03/2024 23:15

Why does it have to ‘match’? What rule says that?
Whether it matches or not is subjective anyway.

BotherThat · 15/03/2024 23:15

Sometimes I have to ask my 8 year old DD to change in to something less migraine inducing. But that’s only if I really can’t bear the clash of colours and patterns. But usually i just let her get on with choosing her own clothes herself.

NeedAdvice2024 · 15/03/2024 23:14

Who is buying all these mismatched patterns and colours? If you want to restrict the outfits she wears then don't buy her things that are likely to clash.

Everydayimhuffling · 15/03/2024 23:14

I only step in if we're going to a particular event, in which case I offer a closed choice or "would you like to wear fancy thing?" which generally works because DD loves a fancy dress. Otherwise it's just if it's inappropriate for the weather, and even then I often end up carrying DS's coat just so it's clear that I didn't make him dress like it's 10 degrees warmer than it is.

idontlikealdi · 15/03/2024 23:11

Let her choose what she want to wear! Mine had ridiculous choices at that age but why not?

Original poster
Ilovechocolate87 · 15/03/2024 23:09

Comedycook · 15/03/2024 23:06

Ah, my dd was like this too op. I have a photo of her wearing a total of six clashing prints/patterns in one outfit. I let her get on with it. I did sometimes think oh no, everyone will think I'm not dressing her nicely but I weighed up this with her need for creativity and autonomy and decided to pick my battles.😂

Haha, thanks, that's great 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Ilovechocolate87 · 15/03/2024 23:07

Frozensun · 15/03/2024 22:40

”but he didn't let me express my own ideas or value my preferences much in general about things, and was very judgemental”

Isn’t your child expressing her own ideas in relation to the clothes and therefore her preferences? Aren’t you being judgemental in what you believe is acceptable? My kids are grown but I’ve always believed in ‘pick your battles’. Is her behaviour unsafe? Is she hurting anyone? If that’s no, celebrate a person who is happy and enjoying themself. And if anyone has an issue, that’s their problem not hers. Enjoy what sounds like a free spirit. She’s got her whole life for society to try and push her into boxes.

Yes and this is why I'm conscious of not wanting to push her too hard into wearing what I think she should, because it's not like she is doing anything wrong dressing however.

Just didn't know if she might need me to guide her abit with it but sounds like from people's responses that she will be guided herself in time.

I also don't want her to become self conscious about her appearance at a young age.

OP posts:
StarDolphins · 15/03/2024 23:06

Purpledragonz · 15/03/2024 23:03

Bit odd to say about a 7 yo ...

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Why?

Comedycook · 15/03/2024 23:06

Ah, my dd was like this too op. I have a photo of her wearing a total of six clashing prints/patterns in one outfit. I let her get on with it. I did sometimes think oh no, everyone will think I'm not dressing her nicely but I weighed up this with her need for creativity and autonomy and decided to pick my battles.😂

Purpledragonz · 15/03/2024 23:03

StarDolphins · 15/03/2024 22:52

If my 7yo had free reign, she would leave the house looking like a prostitute🤣 I think ‘bad taste’ outfits(to us at least) just need to be rolled with. If it’s inappropriate, fur coat/uggs in summer, then I intervene but otherwise I let her go out mostly however she’s chosen. However, if asked, I say it doesn’t go/isn’t my style.

Bit odd to say about a 7 yo ...

Xmasbaby11 · 15/03/2024 23:02

I think by 7 they like to choose. By then my dd dressed herself and was v colourful, sometimes matching sometimes clashing! there’s no way she’d go for choice of two items. I have let her choose as long as it’s clean, fitting and appropriate. As pp says, they have years ahead of feeling pressure about how they look - I’d rather she enjoyed expressing herself in her clothes.

Original poster
Ilovechocolate87 · 15/03/2024 22:59

Panicatthegarden · 15/03/2024 22:39

Mine is too young for this at the minute but I would just give choices between two things if you'd like her to look a bit more cohesive.

Eg. 'Would you like to wear top a or top b?'

'Top b great! Would you like trousers c or d to go with it?'

That sounds like a good compromise

OP posts:
Original poster
Ilovechocolate87 · 15/03/2024 22:58

Songbird54321 · 15/03/2024 22:36

My 6 year old is like this. Will put on random top and leggings with a bright dress on top. I let her be for the most part. Only time I step in is if we're going somewhere a bit fancier but even then I pick out 2 or 3 outfits and let her choose from them so she still feels like she's getting a say

That's a good option....a sort of closed choice idea

OP posts:
Ineedanewsofa · 15/03/2024 22:57

Mine consistently looks like they got dressed out of a jumble sale but I only intervene if the occasion requires ‘appropriate’ clothing (wedding etc) or it’s freezing cold/pissing down and they try to leave house without a jumper or a coat! Toning down of colour/pattern has started to happen recently so I think they are ageing into conformity and the whacky combos will soon be a thing of the past

CatamaranViper · 15/03/2024 22:56

My DS is 7 and the only time I step in is when he tries to wear something completely impractical.
So today was own clothes day at school and he wanted to wear his white England football strip. I said no mainly because it was also spag bol day at school plus school and white is a daft combo.

Otherwise he can wear what he wants! He helps buy most of his clothes anyways and I love that kiddy expressionism

FusionChefGeoff · 15/03/2024 22:56

Please don't make her think that her worth is tied into what she looks like or wears. My DD(9) wears the most random combinations but as long as it's clean, it fits and it's weather / activity appropriate I don't say anything because who gives a shit?

Hankunamatata · 15/03/2024 22:55

Let her crack on. My dh gets up tight about kids clothes and wants them to wear certain things. I'm happy if there is no holes and they fit. However I love a tacky character t shirt or jumper.

BendingSpoons · 15/03/2024 22:52

DelurkingAJ · 15/03/2024 22:49

Outside of very special occasions my only rule is decent and free from holes if leaving the house. I do confiscate clothing that is much too small (or migrate it to DS2’s dressing up box). DSs have had some interesting moments.

I had to start leaving a favourite pair of very worn leggings at the bottom of the laundry basket!

StarDolphins · 15/03/2024 22:52

If my 7yo had free reign, she would leave the house looking like a prostitute🤣 I think ‘bad taste’ outfits(to us at least) just need to be rolled with. If it’s inappropriate, fur coat/uggs in summer, then I intervene but otherwise I let her go out mostly however she’s chosen. However, if asked, I say it doesn’t go/isn’t my style.

ManchesterLu · 15/03/2024 22:51

Let her wear what she wants! Over time she will hone her sense of style. Perhaps it will be exactly the same as it is now! And that's fine! Being able to express yourself as early as possible is great.

DelurkingAJ · 15/03/2024 22:49

Outside of very special occasions my only rule is decent and free from holes if leaving the house. I do confiscate clothing that is much too small (or migrate it to DS2’s dressing up box). DSs have had some interesting moments.

Spencer0220 · 15/03/2024 22:48

Please don't push your daughter because of what you think is right.

My husband was dressed by his mum until he was THIRTY and when he moved in with me and I saw the full contents of his wardrobe, it was horrendous.

He hated most of his clothes. He was scared to wear anything except navy lest he got shouted at by her.

It's taken years, but he's finally happy in his clothes. He loves patterns and colours. Everyone thinks he's very stylish.

Your daughter will learn when she's ready. She will have her own unique style.

Embrace it.

mollyfolk · 15/03/2024 22:46

I’d leave her be with her choices. My eldest is nearly 12, sometimes she looked bonkers as a young kid and is honestly so fashionable now - she always loved putting outfits together.

Imitationzone · 15/03/2024 22:41

She’s going to judged by what she wears for her whole life. Let her have a few more years of bring free from it.