To step in regarding 7yo's clothing choices

I thought this too 😂 Boden love a bit of "wacky print" on kids clothes

Who makes up the rules about what clothes count as matching and what colours/ patterns you can or can't wear together.

I think you should teach your children that they can wear what they want and their worth isn't dependent on whether they wear clashing patterns.

Why can't you wear a pint spotted top with leopard leggings? It's your 5 year old who is wearing it and if she thinks it looks good why does it matter?

She has a very tight very crop top that she is strictly only allowed to wear at home for dancing - the condition of getting it was this.. She also has a faux leather short(ish) skirt that she wears with thick tights, thick jumper & docs in winter. She also has patent kids high heel that are for used for dress up. She sometimes at home puts make up on.

All the above are fine in the house or with other items of clothes but not all together!
She would leave the house (given the choice!) with a crop top, leather skirt, no tights, patent heels & make up!

One of the things I loved the most about my youngest was the utterly chaotic clothing choices she made when she was little.
They're experimenting or they don't care or they're being expressive....who cares which!

I'd buy a cute scrapbook, then take a selection of photos of these wacky outfits, stick them in with some colourful tape and write afew notes like "off to the park!" etc

Keep it and gift it to her when she reaches 18, explaining the story behind it

She's 5 - why stifle her creativity? Unless you are off to a funeral why can't she wear pink spotty top with leopard leggings and green cross?

All 3 of my DDs are like this. They wear what they want and most of the time I inwardly roll my eyes. Like you op I had a controlling parent who put too much onus on my image. I won’t do it to my DDs.

I do pick an occasional battle where I will ask them to wear specific things, they look great until you look at the mop of messy hair, or dirty worn out shoes, all have long hair, all think brushing it once a day is enough and none will consider any form of hair up styles, not even pony tails. Apparently being forced to wear pony tales at school is bad enough. There occasionally might be a mismatched headband that doesn’t sit on the head properly, or my favourite home made bows out of old rags.

All 3 have beautiful wardrobes of clothes, hair accessories, jewellery yet all manage to look like no one owns them. I’ve been calling my youngest (6yo) Stig of the dump all week because she’s refused to brush her hair, it’s just been one crazy ball of knots. I shown her an old YouTube video of Stig, she thinks it’s hilarious and walking round like him 🤦‍♀️

It always makes me smile when I see kids dressed in the way you describe OP. I think it’s so joyous and carefree to wear all of your favourite clothes together whether they match or not.

Hmm, I don't really care as long as it's clean ish and season appropriate

Who cares if it matches

Sounds like your son might be a future designer for Boden......

I actually think that she is approaching the age where a bit of guidance might be helpful. Of course you don't want to curb a 'quirky style' but if it's random ignorance rather than a style choice she might welcome a steer.

I had no idea about clothes as a child, and Mum dressed us mostly in charity shop stuff (which we could choose ourselves) or homemade things. We have lots of photos of us wearing things like stripy trousers with patterned tops. Awful. She also never told me I should have a parting in my hair (I know people don't these days but back then it was a thing). I was OK through primary school but when I went to secondary (boarding school, so they saw my 'home' clothes) I became really conscious that my outfits were awful and I had no style at all or awareness of what was OK. I also had to do my hair!

It just wasn't my Mum's thing, I suppose, but I have always wished she'd saved me the embarrassment and just given me a steer.

I think 10 year olds these days get it from tiktok - and maybe at 7 you don't need to worry too much - but don't necessarily rule out a gentle chat.

Step in and insist on her changing if the clothing is inappropriate for;

• the activity
• the occasion
• the weather
• the location

This may occasionally mean putting your foot down with colours and patterns (at a traditional funeral, for example, or with school uniform), but generally it's about safety concerns.

I always told my DD that a good 80% of style is just looking like you meant it. The most important thing is that she's having fun with clothes. She'll find her way - this is a chance to show her you approve of her choices and help to grow her confidence.

Aw bless she's only 7! Just let you wear whatever she wants and try and overlook the weird combinations.

I would draw the line at odd shoes though

Best gift you can give your daughter is the confidence to be who she is without feeling upset/embarrassed/ashamed that she isn't like everyone else, not a course in hair and fashion.

Your problem wasn't that you looked different to other people/didn't know about fashion it's that your over controlling father robbed you of the confidence to be happy with who you are.

Sounds like you're doing a great job, don't let your lack of confidence influence what you do with your DD now.

Dsis was like your DD as a kid. She's now the most fashion forward person I know! Always looks stylish, and a leader, not a follower.
Let her wear what she wants, she'll find her own style

Why does she have clothes so revealing that she could "look like a prostitute" in the first place?

I've got two girls, when I pick out clothes for them I will point out how I chose items that go together (the tights match the pink of the flowers or whatever). 7yo is proud when she figured out things that 'go'. 10yo has a brilliant approaching punk style and takes no tips from me. She went to school in brown boots with grey leggings and a black floral top, with a floaty rainbow dress over the top.

I suspect the children who look 'put together' don't care about clothes and are happy just to wear what they're given.

@Ilovechocolate87 I think I know where you’re going with this. I’ll say it out loud and get all the disagreements.

Right now it doesn’t really matter to your daughter what she wears. But soon ‘the great sorting’ happens in a child’s life where it will matter and it will be a factor in her social life.

I’m not too sure you will be able to influence her final sort. She’s going to conform to whatever structure she feels most comfortable in. That may mean a sudden interest in brands and fashion and keeping up on the trends or forging her own path. Neither is right and neither is wrong.

I think what your getting at is giving her some tools now to help if she wants to ‘fit in’ with the brand conscious follow the crowd group. Nothing wrong with that in my opinion… but at the same time it’s wasted if you force it on her and she still ends up in the ‘forge your own path’ category (which again there is nothing wrong with this)

So one of two things… either I’ve totally missed the mark and in that case you’ve wasted your time reading to this point 🤣or I’m close…so in case I’m close here’s my advice…

• She has some time before this becomes a thing…don’t sweat it too much at this point.
• Guide her but don’t dictate (unless it’s an occasion that has rules about dress standards) when you can so that she understands that plaids and polka dots don’t match at an intellectual level even if she doesn’t care.
• Keep in mind that clothes are a window to the soul for a teenage girl and you’ll be able to glean a lot of information from them if you pay attention.

you can’t wear a pink spotty top, with leopard leggings and green crocs

Why not? What harm is it doing?

My youngest daughter, aged about 4. Floral skirt with leggings underneath, an owl top and her kitten bomber jacket.
She was a fan of the mixed look
She's a big teenager now and I'd do anything to go back to the simplicity of those days! 😭

I intervene with my 5 year old DD, she’d wear the most random things if I didn’t. Perhaps I should let her get on with it, but if we’re going somewhere nice I don’t want her to look a mess. I’ve always loved clothes, she does too, so I often say, you can’t wear a pink spotty top, with leopard leggings and green crocs. Sometimes there’s a debate but I always coax her in to an outfit that is clean, matches and is appropriate for where we are going.

Ohh please don't stifle her creativity. Maybe for special occasions give her options of x, y and z, but don't make her dress in a way that she doesn't feel happy with day to day. My parents gave me free reign with my hair and clothing choices, always, and I'm still thankful of that in my 40s. She'll develop her own style over time.

Also, in what way can a 7 year old EVER look like a prostitute? That’s just fucking weird to think that.