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Original poster

To step in regarding 7yo's clothing choices

169 replies

Ilovechocolate87 · 15/03/2024 22:16

DD (7) has rather a habit of bunging on random clothes together with a crazy mix of colours and patterns, often with lots or clashing going on.I have gently tried to guide her before into maybe putting plain top or bottoms with a patterned top or bottoms but haven't pushed the issue if she has seemed even abit reluctant and I've always tried to let her make her own clothing choices where possible, ever since she was a toddler and began having preferences.

I grew up with a very controlling dad and am keen to not be that sort of parent to my daughter.I have had the odd blip where I have got abit annoyed at her (for example the day a couple of years back when she was all set to go to a mermaid party in her Ariel costume accessories then at the last minute pulled it all off in favour of just plain clothes) but mostly have been fairly flexible.

However i know i probably shouldn't compare but it seems that everyone else's kids her age are always in quite well balanced/matched outfits colour/pattern wise.Not sure if the parents are pushing or guiding them alot with what they wear or if they just naturally happen to understand more about what clothes match others.

I just wonder now she is getting abit older if I should be taking abit more ownership over trying to influence her decisions abit more (not what to buy, just what to wear with what) as i'm also conscious that i don't want her to grow up like I did without any hint of fashion sense, or how to style my hair etc, as i wasn't taught those sort of things and ended up always looking abit odd compared to my peers.

What is everyone else doing/not doing?

OP posts:
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KERALA1 · 16/03/2024 19:16

Exactly paperdolls totally agree. Most of us at a guess are presumably35 year old plus mums - what do we know about current teen fashion? Zilch. Our “advice” leads only to resentment and relationship damage. Bite your tongue.

PaperDoIIs · 16/03/2024 17:44

FluffyDiplodocus · 16/03/2024 13:31

Minority here, but I’ve explained that usually we only wear one pattern at a time, so plain top with patterned legs and vice versa. I bite my tongue at bright colours! I do say if the colours clash really badly eg bright red and pink. I don’t like her looking silly!

Why do YOU get to decide what looks silly or what the current trends/fashion rules are? Unless you work in the industry....

Tel12 · 16/03/2024 15:16

I think that guidance is in order. Plus buy things that mix n match.

WhichPage · 16/03/2024 15:15

I would be curious how she chooses what to wear and I would enquire (not judgementally)

Maybe she just takes the next top and next bottoms from each drawer without any concern what they are

Maybe she chooses comfort

Maybe she is the next Vivienne Westwood

I would guide the day before if there is some appropriateness needed eg easy to change at swimming, something warm for the beach what ever

I might be tempted to influence the colour pallet and make sure there are sufficient plain things available so outfits might balance out a bit, not sure

Purpledragonz · 16/03/2024 15:06

AliceMcK · 16/03/2024 14:24

I bought my 6yo dd 2 dresses in a charity shop yesterday, I’d never heard of the brand so looked it up. I think the designer has done pretty well for herself with her bright colours!

https://www.agatharuizdelaprada.com/

Super pretty!

AliceMcK · 16/03/2024 14:24

I bought my 6yo dd 2 dresses in a charity shop yesterday, I’d never heard of the brand so looked it up. I think the designer has done pretty well for herself with her bright colours!

https://www.agatharuizdelaprada.com/

AGATHA RUIZ DE LA PRADA

https://www.agatharuizdelaprada.com/

Snugglemonkey · 16/03/2024 14:20

Moveoverdarlin · 15/03/2024 23:22

I intervene with my 5 year old DD, she’d wear the most random things if I didn’t. Perhaps I should let her get on with it, but if we’re going somewhere nice I don’t want her to look a mess. I’ve always loved clothes, she does too, so I often say, you can’t wear a pink spotty top, with leopard leggings and green crocs. Sometimes there’s a debate but I always coax her in to an outfit that is clean, matches and is appropriate for where we are going.

What is wrong with a pink spotty top, leopard leggings and green cross?

Snugglemonkey · 16/03/2024 14:15

Ilovechocolate87 · 15/03/2024 22:30

Yeah that's what I'm doing at the moment really

Show quote history

I honestly would not say that. I just leave it be. It might not match to you, but there is nothing wrong with exploring their own sense of style.

FluffyDiplodocus · 16/03/2024 14:03

@Yogatoga1 To be fair I have no fashion sense and think that woman could have done with her mother intervening 😂

Yogatoga1 · 16/03/2024 13:53

FluffyDiplodocus · 16/03/2024 13:31

Minority here, but I’ve explained that usually we only wear one pattern at a time, so plain top with patterned legs and vice versa. I bite my tongue at bright colours! I do say if the colours clash really badly eg bright red and pink. I don’t like her looking silly!

You mean Silly like this from the Emmy’s red carpet?

this is what I mean when I say your idea of “silly” could be the next high fashion…

To step in regarding 7yo's clothing choices
HappyAsASandboy · 16/03/2024 13:50

Plenty of people still choose clothes each day for their 7yo.

Plenty of people let the children choose their clothes from toddlerhood.

As long as the clothes are appropriate for the activity/weather then personally I'd let her crack on with it.

FluffyDiplodocus · 16/03/2024 13:31

Minority here, but I’ve explained that usually we only wear one pattern at a time, so plain top with patterned legs and vice versa. I bite my tongue at bright colours! I do say if the colours clash really badly eg bright red and pink. I don’t like her looking silly!

avocadotofu · 16/03/2024 13:27

My 5 year old son is exactly the same and it makes him really happy so I'm happy for him to do it as long as he likes.

MotherofPearl · 16/03/2024 13:26

I struggle with my DD's clothes choices, but I'm trying to just let her be. She's also 7.

She loves nothing more than the scruffiest of her brother's hand-me-downs (ideally frayed hoodies and boy's trousers with the knees a bit gone). She has plenty of her own clothes (without holes!) but apparently she thinks she looks 'cool' in worn out boy clothes.

I just leave her to it, even though I'm seldom a fan of her sartorial choices.

pastypirate · 16/03/2024 13:18

With my dds I would remove any clothing that was too small or damaged in some way and let them get on with it.

You control what enters her wardrobe anyway!

So much if life inclines strict dress codes and conformity. Let he be while it lasts x

Precipice · 16/03/2024 13:10

GoBonobo · 16/03/2024 08:31

Not read whole thread, so might have been suggested before, but my DSS used to make fairly ‘bold’ choices when left to his own devices (purple trousers with red tshirt type thing). We just left him to it…around age 16 he had an eye test and we discovered he was completely colour blind! I know it’s less common in girls, but worth getting checked out?

But purple and red go together! No colourblindness required.

KERALA1 · 16/03/2024 13:02

My suggestions are met with quiet disdain by my teens. Then suddenly something non descript of mine and in my opinion quite granny ish becomes suddenly desirable and they nick it. The idea of imparting fashion wisdom is sweet but no kid over the age of 12 will listen. Or they will then will wear the opposite.

Most parents of teens I know consider clothes a small fry issue and certainly not a hill to die on.

Startyabastard · 16/03/2024 13:01

I know, but I'd just go with 'it's only clothes' mentality. Don't compare her to her peers, she'll catch up soon.

AhBiscuits · 16/03/2024 12:59

Clashing patterns are quite fashionable.
Just leave her be.

KERALA1 · 16/03/2024 12:56

Got a fb flashback of dd2 when instructed to dress sensibly coming downstairs in a pink ra ra skirt silk top and a jaunty side ponytail. Miss those days. Just gone into town in a crop top and tracksuit bottoms.

teabooks · 16/03/2024 12:53

When my son was smaller from 5-7 years he loved make-up mainly nail polish eye shadow and lip gloss.
I let him carry on with it i even got him is own sets.
Hes 21 soon and cant stand the stuff now but will do his soon to be wife`s nails.
Let kids be kids.
My youngest had a thing for beads and very bright out there long sleeve sweaters.
Hes 19 now and dont like bright colour tops.

ReadtheReviews · 16/03/2024 12:02

If you were saying inappropriate clothing that's one thing but just clashing is fine! Why make her self conscious?

Thursdayducks · 16/03/2024 10:47

I’d let her continue. I have 3 teen DDs and I miss the days of colourful clothing! They’re all too fashion conscious now.

Resilience · 16/03/2024 10:25

I let both of mine wear what they wanted 99% of the time. I made exceptions for things like weddings but even then gave them choices (e.g my daughter went to several weddings as a child where she didn't wear a dress because she hated them).

They've both turned out to be surprisingly conformist and "well put together" (as some would see it).

Yogatoga1 · 16/03/2024 10:12

Towmcir · 16/03/2024 09:58

The middle ground in our house is that DD gets to pick the top or bottoms and I complete the outfit.

She gets her choice, I get to make it look nice (and quite often still get to give her a choice about jeans/leggings/skirt).

She looks as well presented as a child can, but the “look” is based upon the main piece she picked.

As she’s getting older and has mainly ditched patterned bottom half clothing it’s getting easier I must admit! I think I’ll be suggesting that she can try putting outfits together herself this summer, when I can work on gently explaining colour combos etc.

What happens if your idea of “nice”, well presented, and colour combo’s don’t fit the current teen fashion?

my mum was brought up with strict fashion rules about what went with what, and what you could and couldn’t wear.

regular battles when I wanted to wear DM’s with a dress, when wearing men’s polka dot shirts were a fashion, 80’s backcombing, so many times.

So when you’ve drummed it into her that you can’t wear plaid with polka dots, to use a previous example, but every teen and teen band is wearing it, what do you do? Discourage it because it’s not what you consider “nice”?