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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is outdated and needs to be removed?

565 replies

ballybean · 14/03/2024 23:49

My son's school has an all glass isolation room in the hall with three desks, children are put there as punishment? Teachers and students walking passed

OP posts:
JudgeJ · 15/03/2024 18:17

Begsthequestion · 15/03/2024 13:38

Yeah it's like they've completely forgotten what it's like to be a child.

Or never understood that the dunces cap was discontinued for a good reason.

And so the cycle of abuse continues...

The important people in school are those trying to work, the rest can take the consequences of the behaviour they choose to exhibit, resources should be first and foremost for those following the rules. If mummsy doesn't think her cherub should be 'humiliated', ie punished, there are probably plenty of other schools.

KnickerlessParsons · 15/03/2024 17:48

Gymrabbit · 15/03/2024 00:00

ballybean

I know this is a radical thought but if they don’t like the thought of being humiliated they could behave.

Exactly.

Whereareallthemillionaires · 15/03/2024 17:41

MyGooseisTotallyLoose · 15/03/2024 17:30

So don't say its the perpetrators fault or their parents? It's everyone else's?

It’s just so much easier to blame everyone else.
It delays bothering to deal with it all.

Minymile · 15/03/2024 17:39

Whereareallthemillionaires · 15/03/2024 17:36

Read the posts above by teachers. Or pop over to the teachers section on MN
The soft approaches previously and by some currently used has not been successful and led to continuing problems and the state of our schools and entitled behaviour of many.

Agree@Whereareallthemillionaires , there’s a lack of appropriate punishment and support for that punishment by the parents..

I do think just sending them home with their parents is the best answer though.

Whereareallthemillionaires · 15/03/2024 17:36

WhiteLily1 · 15/03/2024 17:14

Consequences do NOT and should not come in the form of shame & humiliation. Extremely bullying way to deal with disruption and rule breaking.

Read the posts above by teachers. Or pop over to the teachers section on MN
The soft approaches previously and by some currently used has not been successful and led to continuing problems and the state of our schools and entitled behaviour of many.

smooththecat · 15/03/2024 17:33

MyGooseisTotallyLoose · 15/03/2024 17:30

So don't say its the perpetrators fault or their parents? It's everyone else's?

Have you read what I wrote at all?

MyGooseisTotallyLoose · 15/03/2024 17:30

smooththecat · 15/03/2024 16:55

Why are you not able to think beyond ‘whose fault is this?’ It’s not a great advert for teachers tbh. Full disclosure, I used to be one. The whole culture is wrong, it’s coming from outside the schools. You can’t fix it with force and bullying. There is research, there are techniques. We needed funding, massive investment. Get angry at the government, not the children. Sunak et al are laughing at you. You need to operate at a higher level. I don’t think many people would suggest that poor behaviour is great for everyone and we should all put up with it. As adults, the question should be WHY is it happening, not who is to blame.

So don't say its the perpetrators fault or their parents? It's everyone else's?

WhiteLily1 · 15/03/2024 17:22
  1. Too many children per class.
  2. Teachers over worked, under paid and under appreciated
  3. Not enough money or investment to support the children properly or give any more in-depth / individualised attention.
  4. Too many parents working (because they have to to have a house, food and live to a reasonable standard) which means there is no one at home as a pre teen / teen when they get in from school. Secondary school children need a lot of support and parent presence / stability. Even if they disappear to their room.
Answer: humiliate the child so they feel bad and look stupid. That should fix things nicely.
shams05 · 15/03/2024 17:18

Yup when put like that maybe the op needs to actually see what this glass room is? Sure other parents have confirmed it's existence but having not seen it herself maybe she is picturing something completely different to what it actually is.

warmheartcoldfeet · 15/03/2024 17:14

shams05 · 15/03/2024 16:37

Is this glass box in the hall or in a hallway outside the office or something?
Is it that they are easily visible to office staff so don't need a specific member of staff free at all times to supervise, because I can't imagine a school hall having space for this?

. . . or the money.

I wonder how much it cost to have a reinforced glass room, capable of holding three workstations, built?

Perhaps the money could have been better spent on a trained and experienced child educational psychologist to spend some regular 1:1 time with these children and get to the root cause of their unrest at school.

WhiteLily1 · 15/03/2024 17:14

Minymile · 15/03/2024 16:57

Agree
Im really not that surprised so many schools have so many issues with terrible behaviour from students given the replies on here.

There are consequences for bad behaviour, if parents don’t like the chosen methods used by the school then either chose another school or home school.

That way everyone, teachers and students alike, can spend time teaching and learning and not dealing with unruly behaviour.

Consequences do NOT and should not come in the form of shame & humiliation. Extremely bullying way to deal with disruption and rule breaking.

ZebraDanios · 15/03/2024 17:14

IvorTheEngineDriver · 15/03/2024 16:53

I suspect your friends agreed because you are their friend.

Put to a group of randoms on the internet, I honesty cannot see what the issue is here. If they don't want to go into the sin-bin, thry behaving.

Plus, you have yet to come up with a viable alternative.

I think if you asked this question in real life you might get a bit more nuance. It’s only on MN that saying “I feel uncomfortable with the idea of shaming children publicly” actually means “I think children should do whatever they like with absolutely no consequences”.

4CandlesNotForkHandles · 15/03/2024 17:05

smooththecat · 15/03/2024 16:55

Why are you not able to think beyond ‘whose fault is this?’ It’s not a great advert for teachers tbh. Full disclosure, I used to be one. The whole culture is wrong, it’s coming from outside the schools. You can’t fix it with force and bullying. There is research, there are techniques. We needed funding, massive investment. Get angry at the government, not the children. Sunak et al are laughing at you. You need to operate at a higher level. I don’t think many people would suggest that poor behaviour is great for everyone and we should all put up with it. As adults, the question should be WHY is it happening, not who is to blame.

Or get angry at the parents who clearly need educating given the last excellent and very informative few posts from @GoodnightAdeline and @Apolloneuro .

Clearly soft techniques are not working and the kids and teachers left in a disruptive classroom are suffering . No wonder no one wants to do the job anymore

Minymile · 15/03/2024 16:57

Emotionalsupportviper · 15/03/2024 13:38

No.

We think that teaching consequences for actions is good for kids.

Agree
Im really not that surprised so many schools have so many issues with terrible behaviour from students given the replies on here.

There are consequences for bad behaviour, if parents don’t like the chosen methods used by the school then either chose another school or home school.

That way everyone, teachers and students alike, can spend time teaching and learning and not dealing with unruly behaviour.

smooththecat · 15/03/2024 16:55

Apolloneuro · 15/03/2024 13:47

As a teacher myself I could not agree with this more.

What really devastates me is the impact this policy has on the children sat there wanting to learn, trying not to cry whilst the chaos surrounds them.

Why are you not able to think beyond ‘whose fault is this?’ It’s not a great advert for teachers tbh. Full disclosure, I used to be one. The whole culture is wrong, it’s coming from outside the schools. You can’t fix it with force and bullying. There is research, there are techniques. We needed funding, massive investment. Get angry at the government, not the children. Sunak et al are laughing at you. You need to operate at a higher level. I don’t think many people would suggest that poor behaviour is great for everyone and we should all put up with it. As adults, the question should be WHY is it happening, not who is to blame.

IvorTheEngineDriver · 15/03/2024 16:53

ballybean · 15/03/2024 00:05

I find it so funny how I mentioned this to my group of friends and they were all shocked. I mention it here and of course it's totally acceptable!

We can just starting hitting kids again then, if they don't want to get a smack, they just have to behave!

I suspect your friends agreed because you are their friend.

Put to a group of randoms on the internet, I honesty cannot see what the issue is here. If they don't want to go into the sin-bin, thry behaving.

Plus, you have yet to come up with a viable alternative.

Wingham · 15/03/2024 16:49

Combattingthemoaners · 15/03/2024 16:09

I do agree isolation doesn’t work for lots of student but it does allow their classmates and teachers to have a day without constant disruption to their learning.

What do you propose schools do instead? There is no external services due to funding cuts and a real lack of internal support staff.

I’m sure parents who don’t want their kids in the glass box will be more than happy to pick them up and take them home.
They won’t be disrupting teachers and other students if they are no longer in the building.

Whereareallthemillionaires · 15/03/2024 16:43

nopuppiesallowed · 15/03/2024 13:37

Badly behaved adults in the workplace can be warned then sacked. It's a bit difficult to sack a child.....
Perhaps those worrying about sanctions affecting the mental health of badly behaved children should be more worried about badly behaved children affecting the mental health of their teachers.

And other children in the class who might actually want to learn something

CutthroatDruTheViolent · 15/03/2024 16:41

Begsthequestion · 15/03/2024 15:19

You can't really be this dense.

Explain it to me like I am.

shams05 · 15/03/2024 16:37

Is this glass box in the hall or in a hallway outside the office or something?
Is it that they are easily visible to office staff so don't need a specific member of staff free at all times to supervise, because I can't imagine a school hall having space for this?

MyGooseisTotallyLoose · 15/03/2024 16:27

Thegoodbadandugly · 15/03/2024 16:20

Please don't tell us you do, children that are brought up with no consequences for their actions.

But as long as their child is happy, even if that's being violent, agressive, disruptive, upsetting other children/teachere that's all OK remember!

Thegoodbadandugly · 15/03/2024 16:20

WhiteLily1 · 15/03/2024 14:34

Please please tell me you don’t have kids.

Please don't tell us you do, children that are brought up with no consequences for their actions.

Thegoodbadandugly · 15/03/2024 16:14

Begsthequestion · 15/03/2024 13:17

Scary to know that likely most of these posters saying it's a good thing are also parents 😣

Hope it's just the trolls instead.

Have you not wondered why society is getting worst by the day?

Combattingthemoaners · 15/03/2024 16:09

Rollinroller · 15/03/2024 06:25

There is research which shows that internal isolation in secondary school is ineffective and disproportionately used for boys with SEN so I’m not sure this will help, more likely make it worse.

I do agree isolation doesn’t work for lots of student but it does allow their classmates and teachers to have a day without constant disruption to their learning.

What do you propose schools do instead? There is no external services due to funding cuts and a real lack of internal support staff.

GoodnightAdeline · 15/03/2024 15:23

WhiteLily1 · 15/03/2024 14:34

Please please tell me you don’t have kids.

I do. One who received a glowing report from her teacher a week ago - confident but well behaved and top of the class.

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