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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is outdated and needs to be removed?

565 replies

ballybean · 14/03/2024 23:49

My son's school has an all glass isolation room in the hall with three desks, children are put there as punishment? Teachers and students walking passed

OP posts:
Papyrophile · 15/03/2024 21:55

@Zonder, happy to see the bad drivers next to them. The fear of public shame is a powerful inhibitor of bad behaviour.

Papyrophile · 15/03/2024 21:52

Being shamed publicly for misbehaviour on a live TikTok stream is the perfect antidote. It's a modern punishment for the misdemeanor.

Papyrophile · 15/03/2024 21:47

It may seem antiquated to you, but I think bringing back the stocks would be a sensible alternative to prison/young offender institutes. Probably more effective and definitely much cheaper. An afternoon tied up in front of the community in a very busy spot with your charge sheet tied around your neck, no fruit and veg throwing permitted. I think it would discourage most low level youth disruption quickly.

Zonder · 15/03/2024 21:31

Papyrophile · 15/03/2024 21:26

The glass cage seems like a really sensible option. No intervention or supervision necessary. I think I would suggest putting it on the front of the road entry for all the town to see, and ensure that the occupants were the very last off the premises every single day.

Perhaps we could also reinstate the village stocks? Personally I'd like to see that for adults who don't drive properly.

Zonder · 15/03/2024 21:30

It's not about rewards and treats. I've never mentioned those. It's about figuring out what is causing a child to behave in a certain way and working on that. But it's generally easier just to call them little shits and punish them.

Papyrophile · 15/03/2024 21:26

The glass cage seems like a really sensible option. No intervention or supervision necessary. I think I would suggest putting it on the front of the road entry for all the town to see, and ensure that the occupants were the very last off the premises every single day.

Papyrophile · 15/03/2024 21:21

Okay @Zonder and how is it achieved? Your airy assurance that they need to be treated kindly runs contrary to most of our view? Okay treat kindly, but the general opinion here seems to be that the disruptive kids need sanctions not rewards and treats.

StarlightLime · 15/03/2024 21:08

Zonder · 15/03/2024 21:02

And calling them "little shits" is part of the problem.

Oh, of course it isn't.

StarlightLime · 15/03/2024 21:07

ThomasinaLivesHere · 15/03/2024 21:06

I agree about too much attention given to the badly behaved kids. I remember being annoyed when at my school the badly behaved kids were taken to McDonald’s. As a child who behaved you just get ignored and have to put up with so much disruption.

Why were they taken to McDonald's?! Seems like an incentive to misbehave, rather than the reverse.

Mummame222 · 15/03/2024 21:06

ballybean · 14/03/2024 23:59

I think it's humiliating for them. They aren't put there because they are a danger. They are put there if messing in class, distracting others etc

Is it humiliating?

ThomasinaLivesHere · 15/03/2024 21:06

I agree about too much attention given to the badly behaved kids. I remember being annoyed when at my school the badly behaved kids were taken to McDonald’s. As a child who behaved you just get ignored and have to put up with so much disruption.

GoodnightAdeline · 15/03/2024 21:04

ThisOldThang · 15/03/2024 20:58

The problem with the British system is that all the focus and help goes to the little shits and the other 27 kids are irrelevant.

Kick the disruptive fuckers out of class and let the others learn.

If the disruptive ones leave school with zero qualifications, so what? If they commit crimes, jail them.

I'm entirely serious.

This is how I feel. I know it’s wildly unpopular. But we’re sinking the ship to ‘save’ the minority (most of whom are unsavable)

Zonder · 15/03/2024 21:02

And calling them "little shits" is part of the problem.

Zonder · 15/03/2024 21:01

It's not either / or. You can work with a child on their behaviour without harsh punishment without causing trouble for the other children in the class.

ThisOldThang · 15/03/2024 20:58

The problem with the British system is that all the focus and help goes to the little shits and the other 27 kids are irrelevant.

Kick the disruptive fuckers out of class and let the others learn.

If the disruptive ones leave school with zero qualifications, so what? If they commit crimes, jail them.

I'm entirely serious.

blacksax · 15/03/2024 20:55

ballybean · 14/03/2024 23:59

I think it's humiliating for them. They aren't put there because they are a danger. They are put there if messing in class, distracting others etc

With all due respect...

It serves them bloody well right then. It's their own stupid fault they are in there, so perhaps they will learn their lesson from it.

Papyrophile · 15/03/2024 20:40

Make parents pay for their child's education again. It's free, so worthless.

Yes, this is tongue-in-cheek. But if a person ever visits a third world country (we lived several months in Sri Lanka) where every school child was sent to school each morning in pristine white uniform. The message is that education should be taken very seriously by child and parents. When education is not free beyond primary, parents get very stroppy if there is any adolescent disruptive behaviour. I obviously did not witness the punishments, but I am sure that reports of unruly behaviour or class disruption would have brought down the wrath of the whole family. Only a child who had decided they could get richer quicker outside the system of literacy and legality would be defiant.

OTOH, some parents would never pay secondary charges. I have known such people in the rural UK. If they had been asked to pay, the 12 year old would have been outside in all weathers coppicing with a chainsaw beside his father.

His father supplied firewood; he gave scant measures for high prices, so never got any repeat business. (My DS was friends with the lad in 2015; he was moved into an unheated caravan at 16 to make space for the four younger siblings.) Such parents don't value education but their kids know that there's more to life. Rural and intellectual poverty is still happening in the UK, even in plush counties.

Minymile · 15/03/2024 19:47

MyGooseisTotallyLoose · 15/03/2024 19:34

This but as throughout the thread the non problem causing children who want to learn are forgotten about and squashed with the 'will nobody think of the children!!! No not all children, just those ones there,causing the violence, only think of them!'

Well said.👏👏👏
imagine being that parent who didn’t care about their kids education and welfare

MyGooseisTotallyLoose · 15/03/2024 19:34

Minymile · 15/03/2024 19:21

It will help the kids in class who actually want to learn.
It will help the teacher….I don’t even need to explain that one

This but as throughout the thread the non problem causing children who want to learn are forgotten about and squashed with the 'will nobody think of the children!!! No not all children, just those ones there,causing the violence, only think of them!'

Minymile · 15/03/2024 19:21

Zonder · 15/03/2024 18:38

Yes because if the problem in the first place is to do with parenting that will really help.

It will help the kids in class who actually want to learn.
It will help the teacher….I don’t even need to explain that one

Zonder · 15/03/2024 18:38

Minymile · 15/03/2024 17:39

Agree@Whereareallthemillionaires , there’s a lack of appropriate punishment and support for that punishment by the parents..

I do think just sending them home with their parents is the best answer though.

Yes because if the problem in the first place is to do with parenting that will really help.

Zonder · 15/03/2024 18:37

Noicant · 15/03/2024 11:51

How many kids are flagged to pastoral support and it actually results in an actual change in behaviour? I can see it working for a kid who has a sudden behaviour change but PP have mentioned being in schools with good support that students and their parents refuse to access.

I doubt the kids actually feel humiliated, the kind of kids who would find it truly humiliating are precisely the kind of kids who would do their best to not be in there in the first place.

Well of course it depends on what the pastoral team do. In our LA there's a big push for therapeutic thinking in the attitude towards "punishment" and responses to behaviour.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 15/03/2024 18:36

Such hyperbolic language being used you’d think they were being stripped and sprayed with a hose

Sadly it's what tends to happen when some have no other answer, far less workable alternatives to offer

Wingham · 15/03/2024 18:26

xSideshowAuntSallyx · 15/03/2024 18:23

Fuck me i thought being made to stand staring a wall for an hour not talking to anyone or moving was abusive. Seems we've moved on from that to glass prison cells.

I doubt kids will stand quietly facing a corner anymore 🤣🤣🤣

xSideshowAuntSallyx · 15/03/2024 18:23

Fuck me i thought being made to stand staring a wall for an hour not talking to anyone or moving was abusive. Seems we've moved on from that to glass prison cells.