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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is outdated and needs to be removed?

565 replies

ballybean · 14/03/2024 23:49

My son's school has an all glass isolation room in the hall with three desks, children are put there as punishment? Teachers and students walking passed

OP posts:
Jeannie88 · 16/03/2024 19:15

Only 3 desks? That must be a good school to expect so few students in need of it! X

Rockhopper81 · 16/03/2024 19:00

So it's the secondary version of the 'traffic lights', or 'sunshine and rain cloud', or whatever other act of ridiculous public shaming (primary) schools come up with - got it!

I'll be honest, I'm not sure what the answer is to the behaviour issues in school, especially in secondary schools, but it sure as anything it's humiliation. As a previous poster said, it's the antithesis of trauma-informed practice, and when you've had a reason to really look for trauma-informed schools, you'd appreciate how necessary that practice is.

I'm not okaying unacceptable behaviour - not at all, I'm a former teacher, I absolutely understand how soul destroying it can be to be spending half your day managing behaviour rather than actually educating - but public humiliation is not the answer.

Shifting the shit-show of the education system as an institution (not at individual teacher level) onto individuals has had a massive impact on pupils in general - with everything being target driven, teachers need to cram more in to each lesson, so there isn't the opportunity to build relationships to mitigate poor behaviour before it starts. Because for a lot of children - and teens especially, although they'd never admit it - having those relationships with teachers/staff makes them more inclined to behave appropriately, rather than a standard 'screw you' to anyone in authority.

nostaples · 16/03/2024 18:44

Like this? Ahahaha barbaric. Poor office workers who spend all their working lives in such dreadful conditions. Not.

To think this is outdated and needs to be removed?
CWigtownshire · 16/03/2024 18:34

Maybe if pupils behaved it wouldn't be needed and teachers wouldn't be leaving due to bad behaviour of pupils. Just a thought...

Islandgirl68 · 16/03/2024 18:30

That is outrageous, how is that even allowed. Are you in North Korea. Humiliating children is not acceptable. I would be taking that higher.

Chlo6 · 16/03/2024 18:21

Zonder · 16/03/2024 18:01

Seemingly not.

Well yeah it's a pretty light punishment but these days is "harsh and cruel"
It's really no wonder children are so wild these days and unable to be controlled by schools or parent, they never have a real consequence for anything these days not to mention the over sensitive lack of resilience that goes along with it. Turning out a generation of lazy self entitled who think the world revolves around them and their feelings

NonGardener · 16/03/2024 18:16

SalviaDivinorum · 15/03/2024 00:02

So what sanctions would you suggest for misbehaviour?

One of the more common ones is a simple detention - at lunchtime or after school. I agree that this seems antiquated and extremely unlikely to prevent misbehaviour. Instead, it seems designed to humiliate the child, with no positive benefit.

fetchacloth · 16/03/2024 18:07

Gymrabbit · 15/03/2024 00:00

ballybean

I know this is a radical thought but if they don’t like the thought of being humiliated they could behave.

Quite !

Zonder · 16/03/2024 18:03

Thisgroupneverceasestoamazeme · 16/03/2024 17:52

It’s definitely outdated. Managing behaviour using shame and fear is short sighted and doesn’t actually change behaviour or motivate people to do the right thing in the long term. Compassion, positives and connection are what has a lasting impact.

Unfortunately a lot of people on this thread will disagree with you and say you're not showing compassion to the kids who want to work. Because obviously you can't show compassion to both lots of children.

Zonder · 16/03/2024 18:02

Trumptonagain · 16/03/2024 17:30

Inhuman?
Really, divided opinions on that one.

Inhuman, which also means cruel, monstrous, and barbaric

Inhuman is walking up to an innocent person in the street and punching them in the face for no apparent reason.

Inhuman is getting a person to meet you in a park knowing you're going to stick a knife in them or beat them until they die.

Inhuman is pulling up along side a pensioner, jumping out of the car a ripping her handbag from her shoulder.

I certainly wouldn't say being put in a secure room, by ones own choice because you don't have the ability to sit still, be quiet and listen for half hour or so Inhuman.

Edited

We will have to agree to differ then. There's quite a broad range of things I consider inhuman. I'm capable of considering more than 3 things inhuman.

Zonder · 16/03/2024 18:01

Chlo6 · 16/03/2024 17:49

Then they'll learn to behave if they don't like it won't they

Seemingly not.

Thisgroupneverceasestoamazeme · 16/03/2024 17:52

It’s definitely outdated. Managing behaviour using shame and fear is short sighted and doesn’t actually change behaviour or motivate people to do the right thing in the long term. Compassion, positives and connection are what has a lasting impact.

Chlo6 · 16/03/2024 17:49

ballybean · 14/03/2024 23:59

I think it's humiliating for them. They aren't put there because they are a danger. They are put there if messing in class, distracting others etc

Then they'll learn to behave if they don't like it won't they

Trumptonagain · 16/03/2024 17:30

Zonder · 16/03/2024 16:03

If that's what it was it would be a whole different matter. Sitting in a glass room in the middle of a hall on shoe is quite another. Or as the schools I know do, sitting in a booth on your own with no contact with another human from 9 til 3 is pretty inhuman too.

Inhuman?
Really, divided opinions on that one.

Inhuman, which also means cruel, monstrous, and barbaric

Inhuman is walking up to an innocent person in the street and punching them in the face for no apparent reason.

Inhuman is getting a person to meet you in a park knowing you're going to stick a knife in them or beat them until they die.

Inhuman is pulling up along side a pensioner, jumping out of the car a ripping her handbag from her shoulder.

I certainly wouldn't say being put in a secure room, by ones own choice because you don't have the ability to sit still, be quiet and listen for half hour or so Inhuman.

Flopsythebunny · 16/03/2024 17:21

ballybean · 14/03/2024 23:59

I think it's humiliating for them. They aren't put there because they are a danger. They are put there if messing in class, distracting others etc

Perhaps a bit of humiliation will stop them from misbehaving and disrupting the class

Trumptonagain · 16/03/2024 17:07

GoodnightAdeline · 16/03/2024 09:31

School punishments have never been as soft as they are now. This wouldn’t even have made a thread 15 years ago.

Disciplin in General seems non existent in some families.

I definitely don't see putting someone in isolation as humiliating, if it were repeat offending wouldn't be a thing.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 16/03/2024 17:02

There are plenty of jobs where you are on your own for extended hours - car park attendant, lorry driver, security guard . I've never thought of any of those professions as being inhuman - at the end of your shift, you go home to your family and meet up with friends. If they are overstimulated and kicking off maybe somewhere quiet is a good idea.

Yes, it's definitely a good idea, but not literally all day without human contact (I do find it hard to believe that happens tbh).

In any case, the comparison with solo jobs is not a good one. Kids are not the same as adults. And the adults have chosen to do a job that will involve being alone for long periods.

StarlightLime · 16/03/2024 16:53

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 16/03/2024 16:34

Or as the schools I know do, sitting in a booth on your own with no contact with another human from 9 til 3 is pretty inhuman too.

  • *I totally agree. Is that honestly what happens? I've worked in quite a lot of schools and know many teachers in other schools, and I've never heard of that happening. No contact even with a teacher or pastoral staff? Not even at break or lunch time? That's really not on.

Of course it doesn't happen. They're just kept out of the lessons they're disrupting.

Sparsely · 16/03/2024 16:52

There are plenty of jobs where you are on your own for extended hours - car park attendant, lorry driver, security guard . I've never thought of any of those professions as being inhuman - at the end of your shift, you go home to your family and meet up with friends. If they are overstimulated and kicking off maybe somewhere quiet is a good idea.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 16/03/2024 16:34

Or as the schools I know do, sitting in a booth on your own with no contact with another human from 9 til 3 is pretty inhuman too.

  • *I totally agree. Is that honestly what happens? I've worked in quite a lot of schools and know many teachers in other schools, and I've never heard of that happening. No contact even with a teacher or pastoral staff? Not even at break or lunch time? That's really not on.
Zonder · 16/03/2024 16:03

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 16/03/2024 15:19

It's not either / or. You can work with a child on their behaviour without harsh punishment without causing trouble for the other children in the class.

What's so harsh about sitting in another room to do your work for a day?

If that's what it was it would be a whole different matter. Sitting in a glass room in the middle of a hall on shoe is quite another. Or as the schools I know do, sitting in a booth on your own with no contact with another human from 9 til 3 is pretty inhuman too.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 16/03/2024 15:19

It's not either / or. You can work with a child on their behaviour without harsh punishment without causing trouble for the other children in the class.

What's so harsh about sitting in another room to do your work for a day?

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 16/03/2024 15:17

I think it's humiliating for them. They aren't put there because they are a danger. They are put there if messing in class, distracting others etc

You've got a worryingly low bar if you think that being dangerous is the only reason a student should be removed from a class. Do you not care that other students' education is constantly disrupted by disruptive kids?

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 16/03/2024 15:15

Isolation booths (isolation at all) wasn’t even a thing when I was at school in the 90s.

From my experience, most schools don't have booths, they just have a normal room.

NaughtPoppy · 16/03/2024 14:50

GoodnightAdeline · 16/03/2024 09:31

School punishments have never been as soft as they are now. This wouldn’t even have made a thread 15 years ago.

Isolation booths (isolation at all) wasn’t even a thing when I was at school in the 90s.
The discipline at my son’s school is absolutely crazy and he’s had isolation for things that wouldn’t have even been a detention when I was his age.