Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is outdated and needs to be removed?

565 replies

ballybean · 14/03/2024 23:49

My son's school has an all glass isolation room in the hall with three desks, children are put there as punishment? Teachers and students walking passed

OP posts:
MsFaversham · 15/03/2024 10:42

YANBU. I agree it is humiliating.

BestBadger · 15/03/2024 10:42

smooththecat · 15/03/2024 10:05

Precisely, and your point?

I'm not disagreeing with your principle. Having a group of children in the "cell" removes at least one of the functions of the panopticon.

Sure, it still functions in a role of discipline & control, but so do our factories, offices & schools in general.

School does feel like prison for some kids.

It's also worth noting that Bentham's prison was never actually built, but the principle exists.

ballybean · 15/03/2024 10:37

mitogoshi · 15/03/2024 08:33

Schools need to find punishments that work - obviously corporal punishment is wrong but detentions don't work, extra homework? Will the parents enforce it? Every day people are posting on Mumsnet trying to undermine these measures eg my child can't stay after school, my child can't possibly do homework due to x or y, it's not fair they have been excluded from a trip ...

Basically the school has so few options and if segregated learning works and the child learns from it then no complaints from me (using it more than occasionally for the same child means it doesn't work for them).

Here in my town with parents permission the secondary school has a weekend detention once a month where they clean up the beach and other open areas, we all know they are the naughty ones, so there's a bit of name and shame, but also doing good for society, the kids don't seem to begrudge the punishment exactly but it's a deterrent and few have to do it again. Not sure it would work in bigger places though. Police are using the same tactic for anti social behaviour too, again parents support them, so it works

That's brilliant, to have it at weekend and also for some good to come from it. Thats the kind of punishment that will teach them a lesson. I can see why they don't often do it again.

Detention doesn't work. My son got some lunchtime detentions for being late but he didn't care because they are made stand out in yard for lunch break and it's freezing so he preferred to stay in!

OP posts:
caringcarer · 15/03/2024 10:28

Atichen · 15/03/2024 09:46

I can't speak for everyone but I did find my speed awareness course humbling/awkward and I was embarrassed/nervous/anxious befor & during... really wouldn't want to do it again (not sure how much the fine was but it also cost me £100 and a half day leave from work)

it did feel a bit like being back at school and in trouble-(though I was/am a shy/well behaved and hate bring told off)

I felt anxious and humiliated too on my speed awareness course. Having to ask for time off from work to explain why you must attend was humiliating. I made damn sure I don't speed again to avoid a replication of the experience.

Zonder · 15/03/2024 10:26

Noicant · 15/03/2024 10:25

It took me over a year of therapy to figure out why I was doing what I do. I’m not sure a teacher with 5 minutes has much of a chance to unpick the intricacies of the feral mind and to heal it.

No. But they can flag up to pastoral staff, signpost etc.

Devonshiregal · 15/03/2024 10:26

Gymrabbit · 15/03/2024 00:00

ballybean

I know this is a radical thought but if they don’t like the thought of being humiliated they could behave.

So if you did something your boss didn’t like you’d think it cool of them to shame you in front of the rest of your colleagues?

kids are people and they don’t need to be forced into conforming. The education system is shit. If all other kids were coming out of school little geniuses then fine, I’d agree it worked. But even “well behaved” kids are coming out entirely average.

Noicant · 15/03/2024 10:25

MyGooseisTotallyLoose · 15/03/2024 10:20

Are you a teacher? How do you find time to do this? Obviously you're not doing it as a 1:1 I'd assume?

It took me over a year of therapy to figure out why I was doing what I do. I’m not sure a teacher with 5 minutes has much of a chance to unpick the intricacies of the feral mind and to heal it.

Zonder · 15/03/2024 10:25

MyGooseisTotallyLoose · 15/03/2024 10:20

Are you a teacher? How do you find time to do this? Obviously you're not doing it as a 1:1 I'd assume?

I am indeed a teacher. Punishment culture is not the solution.

caringcarer · 15/03/2024 10:23

Zyq · 15/03/2024 07:47

It isn't humiliating. You're sitting in the comfort of your own house in front of a camera, the other people involved are people who have sped who are hardly going to heap shame on you, plus the instructor who doesn't honestly care and is probably grateful that you are keeping him/her in a job.

The speed awareness course I went on was in person. Not on a screen in my own home. I attended before Covid. I've not had to go since.

MyGooseisTotallyLoose · 15/03/2024 10:20

Zonder · 15/03/2024 10:13

I'd suggest starting by finding out about the child and why they're misbehaving. In my experience that rarely happens.

Are you a teacher? How do you find time to do this? Obviously you're not doing it as a 1:1 I'd assume?

Puzzledandpissedoff · 15/03/2024 10:15

It’s always the parents of the naughty/badly behaved kids shouting the loudest about how detentions/punishments are unfair

Isn't it just - and very often they'll insist "they have ADHD" so can't help it

I'd suggest starting by finding out about the child and why they're misbehaving. In my experience that rarely happens

See above
One encounter with the parents - if they bother to show up at all - will often indicate exactly why the DCs behave as they do, but unfortunately also shows why sanctions are unlikely to work

Trumptonagain · 15/03/2024 10:14

Emotionalsupportviper · 15/03/2024 09:59

You know why many schools are "shit"?

Because many children behave like arseholes, and their parents don't support the school when teachers attempt to discipline them.

These children have parents who get furious when their child has detention, don't supervise any extra "punishment" work they are given, complain if they are excluded from extreme-curricular activities and all-in-all undermine the school's attempt to enforce discipline.

That's why many schools are "shit"

Then once they leave school and get into more serious bother and start inflicting their shit on Joe Public those very same parents bleet about it not being their fault and wash their hands with them.

Pretty much every child that goes to a school has a chance of walking away with a good education too set them on a path through adulthood.
While it's the child attending the school parents themselves will also be part of that process in how they choose to work with the school.

No one is helping a childs development by letting them think they're beyond the rules.

Zonder · 15/03/2024 10:13

SalviaDivinorum · 15/03/2024 00:02

So what sanctions would you suggest for misbehaviour?

I'd suggest starting by finding out about the child and why they're misbehaving. In my experience that rarely happens.

Isitautumnyet23 · 15/03/2024 10:08

Emotionalsupportviper · 15/03/2024 09:59

You know why many schools are "shit"?

Because many children behave like arseholes, and their parents don't support the school when teachers attempt to discipline them.

These children have parents who get furious when their child has detention, don't supervise any extra "punishment" work they are given, complain if they are excluded from extreme-curricular activities and all-in-all undermine the school's attempt to enforce discipline.

That's why many schools are "shit"

Absolutely - time parents took some blame for how they’ve brought them up, instead of blaming the school/teachers/government/person down the road etc etc. Looking for blame anywhere else than themselves.

It’s always the parents of the naughty/badly behaved kids shouting the loudest about how detentions/punishments are unfair. I cant tell you our Secondary school’s detention policy as my child’s never had one. If they do ever get one, then im pretty sure they won’t misbehave again. I know my child would be horrified to get one.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 15/03/2024 10:08

whosaidtha · 15/03/2024 09:13

Detention, suspension, extra homework, report card, withheld from activities??

Detention they don't turn up or are in every day.
Suspension. A load of red tape. You can't just suspend that easily.
Extra homework. How do you enforce this?
Report card. What are the consequences for a bad report?
Withheld from activities. What activities?

The only thing I'd add to this accurate post is that withholding activities will bring cries of "You can't do that, it humiliates them" too

Basically, many want something done about chaotic behaviour, but do it and some will always cry "No, not like that, we have to treat them nicely!!" - in other words a continuation of no responsibility/no consequences

And then some wonder why teachers are leaving in droves ...

ZanzibarIsland · 15/03/2024 10:06

Which school is this?
I'd check with the school what your son is telling you. It doesn't ring true. Kids aren't just chucked in isolation and left unsupervised apart from people walking past the school hall. There also wouldhf be room to section off a school hall like this.

smooththecat · 15/03/2024 10:06

In social theory the panopticon is more of an idea of absolute surveillance than a description of the actual architecture. So, some lateral thinking required there.

smooththecat · 15/03/2024 10:05

BestBadger · 15/03/2024 09:36

My understanding of the panopticon is that it's from the prison design of Bentham and that it was designed for individuals in cells to be observed centrally, removing the opportunity for plotting or bad influences between prisoners.

They could be seen, but because of the cell's side walls and backlighting, couldn't be seen.

Precisely, and your point?

Whereareallthemillionaires · 15/03/2024 10:02

Presumably the kids need to be kept an eye on but there aren’t free teachers available to sit in a room with them.
Schools used to leave kids sitting on a bench in silence outside the heads office.
This is much the same.

This could be a safeguarding issue and the school has no option. The fallout is that they feel humiliated. I suppose if they don’t cause trouble in class they won’t have to be there in the first place.

Seaside3 · 15/03/2024 10:02

I suspect the glass box works on a number of levels. It's embarrassing for those kids that care/want to behave so it's a big deterrent for them, should they be tempted to behave in a silly way.

For those kids that do misbehave and feel the shame of being in there once, it probably works too.

And for the kids who are constantly disrupting they can be sent to the box. It means the kids who want to learn and not have distuptive/abusive/violent classmates ruining their education can lwarn in peace. Its unlikely those kids in the box will learn much, but the rest of the class can. It's far from ideal, but I'm not sure expecting teachers to be social workers, psychologists, mediators etc is ideal either.
I'm not.reqlly sure what else works, having kids standing in corridors never really worked when I was young, they just ran off, or made loads if noise. The kids who were very disruptive (not many) didn't attend detentions, ir just caused chaos when they did. Their parents rarely went to parents evening, and wouldn't care much. If they weren't allowed to go on activities it meant someone had to look after them, or they just skived, if they are rewarded for 'good" behaviour the other kids wonder why they're not.
I'm curious to hear other ways teachers can deal with disruptive teens, that are realistic.

smooththecat · 15/03/2024 10:01

Yeah, agreed. Shame is a good behaviour modifier.

Ariona · 15/03/2024 10:00

ballybean · 14/03/2024 23:59

I think it's humiliating for them. They aren't put there because they are a danger. They are put there if messing in class, distracting others etc

Oh Fgs maybe they need to feel ashamed to change their behaviour. No wonder some children are just so horrible today because consequences are so soft and not effective. If you don't want to sit in that glass room, behave yourself !

smooththecat · 15/03/2024 09:59

Shall we all write to our MPs and suggest opening a gulag? Get some proper discipline going. While we at it, let’s get some hostile architecture built in the playgrounds. Why not a guard tower with an armed guard?

I think we’ve got some good ideas on this thread for how to bring order to this chaos.

Emotionalsupportviper · 15/03/2024 09:59

Doodleflips · 15/03/2024 09:53

Totally agree.
no one ever got shamed into behaving better.
it’s draconian, and schools are just shit.

You know why many schools are "shit"?

Because many children behave like arseholes, and their parents don't support the school when teachers attempt to discipline them.

These children have parents who get furious when their child has detention, don't supervise any extra "punishment" work they are given, complain if they are excluded from extreme-curricular activities and all-in-all undermine the school's attempt to enforce discipline.

That's why many schools are "shit"

Trumptonagain · 15/03/2024 09:55

They are put there if messing in class, distracting others etc

So by choice then.

I'd imagine by doing the above they've wasted enough of a Teacher's time so being able to be seen while sitting in isolation means the Teacher's can observe while doing the job they're paid to do and other DC can learn without interruption.