Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is outdated and needs to be removed?

565 replies

ballybean · 14/03/2024 23:49

My son's school has an all glass isolation room in the hall with three desks, children are put there as punishment? Teachers and students walking passed

OP posts:
ballybean · 15/03/2024 12:23

They are really strict with the look of the boys, no tight hair cuts or long, no facial hair etc so a lot of the detentions are for things like this.

They are a really strict school, most the teachers are great but the vice principal talks like shit to

I just think it's not one size fits all. I have three boys and I've parented them all differently as in they get different consequences as one punishment for one child won't always work for another.

I'll never agree with putting them in a glass box on display. It's humiliating and demeaning.

Obviously the majority of people commenting on this thread agree with it. Anyone I've spoken to about it outside of Mumsnet agrees with me so 🤷‍♀️

I'm gone now, I don't normally get a lot of responses on my threads I put up and don't actually have time to come in and out of it so much!

OP posts:
WhiteLily1 · 15/03/2024 12:19

Absolutely awful. It’s like putting them in the corner facing the wall with a dunces cap so everyone can point any laugh.
Anyone saying ‘oh well they should behave then’ This comment is extremely ignorant and lets me know your child doesn’t go to a strict / very punitive secondary school. If only it were that simple.
You are assuming that the child in there has done something wrong. this IME is not always the case. My son this week had his whole lunch taken from him because another boy tripped him up by sticking his foot out. My son knocked into another student because he got tripped. Never once been in any trouble before but still got punished all the same because he was ‘involved’ He told the head of year what happened but it made no difference.
Speaking to the head of year for my 12 year old is like speaking to Mrs trunchbull. He’s terrified.
My other son had been distracted lots of times by other students nudging / whispering / taking his book, knocking his own onto the floor. Teacher has punished my son for picking up the pen, mouthing suuush or shaking his head no as he doesn’t want to be distracted. In no world would my son speak up to the teacher to correct them as this is seen as answering back and you get a much worse punishment.
In this case my son could have been put in this glass box. (Thankfully they don’t have that at his school)
Its not as simple as previous posters are making out.

ZebraDanios · 15/03/2024 12:06

ballybean · 15/03/2024 11:40

No that's not what I'm saying at all! I'm saying that give the kids punishments that actually work. The kids in other school always wear their school jackets now, my school repeatedly get detentions for wearing own jacket...

Your school could very easily solve that problem by not giving detentions for things that have absolutely no impact whatsoever on anyone’s learning, behaviour or wellbeing…

Puzzledandpissedoff · 15/03/2024 12:02

I doubt the kids actually feel humiliated, the kind of kids who would find it truly humiliating are precisely the kind of kids who would do their best to not be in there in the first place

Exactly, @Noicant - just as the sort of parent who schools want to address behaviour with are rarely the ones to be seen at parents' evenings, etc.

As I suggested we can't force people to engage, but we really should be able to ensure others get an education which isn't disrupted by that lack of engagement

Seaside3 · 15/03/2024 12:01

@Cactusdaff maybe they've done it that way to protect staff and children? Some teens are huge and can easily overpower smaller adults. Some will claim they've been abused. Equally, there will be cases where the staff habe physically, mentally and sexually abused children in isolation if others cant see whats going on.I guess it's harder to do those things if everyone can see.
It's far from ideal, but I can also see why it's used.

Everythinggreen · 15/03/2024 11:58

Seaside3 · 15/03/2024 11:49

Another thought, some kids love an audience and whilst are 'bad' can be very disruptive. Sometimes those kids do need to be removed from their captive audience to calm down. We've all had class clowns, that just need a bit of time out to reflect/sort themselves out and then can return to lessons. It's being separated from their classmates that a lot of kids despise, so maybe it does work in some cases.

The kids who are constantly in isolation, they are the ones I feel for. It's clearly not working, but I'm not sure school's have resources to really help them

I really agree with this. When it's clear isolation is no deterrent then other things should be looked at.
With regards with the audience absolutely agree. My youngest DS's class who is top set and often given advanced work, is disrupted by very bright kids, from stable families and who were not a pick of bother in primary (I've known the kids since they were all at nursery and many of the parents I went to school with)

My DS will say these kids just do it to get a laugh, but it is repeatedly so although he like these kids, he is really frustrated at being told the same things over and over cos the teachers just stop and start again and they have projects and experiments he's been looking forward to, cancelled last minute (which isn't great as he has ASD and one of the things that can make him have mind shutdown is last minute changes)

Plus they don't do it for every teacher, they're selective about who they think they can get take advantage if so there isn't underlying issues, simply selective bad behaviour.

Panama2 · 15/03/2024 11:56

ballybean · 14/03/2024 23:49

My son's school has an all glass isolation room in the hall with three desks, children are put there as punishment? Teachers and students walking passed

When you went round the school before your child attended did you not see the glass box then?

Puzzledandpissedoff · 15/03/2024 11:56

Personally I think its a bad idea, because there's enough controversy to enable students with parents who hold your views to use the schools 'humiliation' of them as a smokescreen for their behaviour. And before you know it, it stops being about how Johnny verbally abused his teacher, and starts being about Johnny as 'victim'

It already is though, @5128gap, because try as they might there's little which can really be done about those who believe everything is everyone's fault but theirs and teach the same to the kids

So it seems the only realistic route is to make a rounded education available, hope that most will choose to engage with it, and sanction those who disrupt things for others qwhether their parents agree or not

CowboyJoanna · 15/03/2024 11:55

ballybean · 14/03/2024 23:59

I think it's humiliating for them. They aren't put there because they are a danger. They are put there if messing in class, distracting others etc

Surely that's the whole point of a punishment
Oh dear think of the poor children, geting humiliated for behaving like little shits🙄

Thegoodbadandugly · 15/03/2024 11:54

warmheartcoldfeet · 15/03/2024 00:20

put them in a glass box then if you think that'll solve it

So what's your solution then?

TroysMammy · 15/03/2024 11:54

When I was in Junior school there was the bench. If you stood by the bench you had been naughty and a teacher had sent you there and everyone knew you had been naughty.

If you were sitting on the bench that was because you were feeling ill and either waiting parental pick up or having some quiet time out of class. I had to sit on the bench but felt uncomfortable even though I knew the rules of sitting and standing on or by the bench.

The point I'm making about the "glass enclosure" is If pupils were there because they had been naughty and they didn't like being stared at then perhaps they would think again in the future that misbehaving has consequences .

ballybean · 15/03/2024 11:52

Everythinggreen · 15/03/2024 11:48

@ballybean if your only issue is that its a glass box then I'll agree with you, if your issue includes the children being removed from the class to perform their work elsewhere then we aren't in agreement.

I've no problem with them being removed from class. Of course they have to go outside if disrupting class.

I don't like them being displayed in the hall like a caged animal. It's wrong. We all have our opinions but I think it's wrong. It doesn't sit well with me.

OP posts:
Noicant · 15/03/2024 11:51

Zonder · 15/03/2024 10:26

No. But they can flag up to pastoral staff, signpost etc.

How many kids are flagged to pastoral support and it actually results in an actual change in behaviour? I can see it working for a kid who has a sudden behaviour change but PP have mentioned being in schools with good support that students and their parents refuse to access.

I doubt the kids actually feel humiliated, the kind of kids who would find it truly humiliating are precisely the kind of kids who would do their best to not be in there in the first place.

Thegoodbadandugly · 15/03/2024 11:49

ballybean · 14/03/2024 23:59

I think it's humiliating for them. They aren't put there because they are a danger. They are put there if messing in class, distracting others etc

Then perhaps they shouldn't be messing around? See that's what's wrong these days, no accountability for their actions, this is why teachers can't teach because of disruptive students and then their parents are sticking up for them, then it only gets worst.

Tell your child they should not misbehave at school and then they won't get in trouble.

Seaside3 · 15/03/2024 11:49

Another thought, some kids love an audience and whilst are 'bad' can be very disruptive. Sometimes those kids do need to be removed from their captive audience to calm down. We've all had class clowns, that just need a bit of time out to reflect/sort themselves out and then can return to lessons. It's being separated from their classmates that a lot of kids despise, so maybe it does work in some cases.

The kids who are constantly in isolation, they are the ones I feel for. It's clearly not working, but I'm not sure school's have resources to really help them

Everythinggreen · 15/03/2024 11:48

@ballybean if your only issue is that its a glass box then I'll agree with you, if your issue includes the children being removed from the class to perform their work elsewhere then we aren't in agreement.

Everythinggreen · 15/03/2024 11:46

ballybean · 15/03/2024 11:40

No that's not what I'm saying at all! I'm saying that give the kids punishments that actually work. The kids in other school always wear their school jackets now, my school repeatedly get detentions for wearing own jacket...

Ok so what do you suggest is the punishment for repeatedly disrupting other students in class, so that the students who want to learn are given the opportunity to do just that? All well and good suggesting solutions that would take time to put into effect, what do the kids who want to learn do in the meantime? They are the ones being punished by not punishing the offenders there and then! It shouldn't take weeks or months of disruption for them, while the disruptive ones are having their behaviour dealt with gradually and "gently"

Cactusdaff · 15/03/2024 11:45

Seaside3 · 15/03/2024 11:24

@Cactusdaff you're right. I am interested to know your solution for the disruptive kids who are kicking off in every lesson and ruining other kids education.
I do not think using shame is right, but I do think it's right to remove kids who are abusive, violent, disruptive. And once removed, I'm not sure where else they go?

Yes I do agree that the behaviour needs to be removed. And the child/ren in question need to go somewhere else to keep others safe - and in fact I agree that there need to be consequences for that behaviour, I'm not all airy-fairy-poor-darling. But it doesn't have to be done in a glass box where everyone can see. No good can come from that. There must be other spaces that can be used - or window coverings can stop people seeing in?

Obviously addressing the root cause of all bad behaviour and fixing the psychological, socioeconomic, hormonal, misjudged, dysregulayted, environmental causes of it isn't possible each and every time a problem arises in a public school room, especially given the already monumental strain on teachers. And I don't have all the answers. But the absence of a perfect solution does not justify using a harmful one.

ItsallIeverwanted · 15/03/2024 11:44

I don't see it as more humiliating than wearing a high vis jacket doing cleaning on Sat.

Trumptonagain · 15/03/2024 11:41

ballybean · 15/03/2024 11:09

As I've said, I'm all for them getting consequences for their actions. But I think isolating them doesn't work and it's humiliating. Humiliation does not bring good behaviour (in most cases).

I also don't think detention etc works.

Why do you see it as humiliating?

Instead look at it as the rest of the children that don't want to leave school without an education can listen to what the Teacher is teaching them in a peaceful setting.

TheHighPriestess1 · 15/03/2024 11:41

ballybean · 15/03/2024 00:05

I find it so funny how I mentioned this to my group of friends and they were all shocked. I mention it here and of course it's totally acceptable!

We can just starting hitting kids again then, if they don't want to get a smack, they just have to behave!

I don’t advocate smacking children, I do believe that when the cane and the slipper was given at school, kids were less feral than they are today.

ballybean · 15/03/2024 11:40

Everythinggreen · 15/03/2024 11:38

@ballybean so you think if kids don't wear school sanctioned jackets, they deserve the risk of being robbed, but if a kid continually disrupts the learning of others they don't deserve to be removed from the class they're disrupting?

No that's not what I'm saying at all! I'm saying that give the kids punishments that actually work. The kids in other school always wear their school jackets now, my school repeatedly get detentions for wearing own jacket...

OP posts:
Everythinggreen · 15/03/2024 11:38

@ballybean so you think if kids don't wear school sanctioned jackets, they deserve the risk of being robbed, but if a kid continually disrupts the learning of others they don't deserve to be removed from the class they're disrupting?

theworldie · 15/03/2024 11:37

I’m just so relieved mine are in private school.

This would be unheard of at my dc’s schools.

Hankunamatata · 15/03/2024 11:35

Not ideal but I'm guessing school has no other space. My dc high school is max capacity.