My DH doesn't want to go on holiday

Christ you're entitled. You seem to have some idea in your head of what you are due and feel that your life is not quite matching it - you worked 'even' when the children were young (go you), you 'only' live in a three bedroomed flat, you 'only' get one big ticket holiday per year in the last few years (apart from trips abroad to your mums). If I were your spouse I would be experiencing this as a constant drumbeat and would be inclined to double down on the 'nos' in response to your very unreasonable demands. Cause and effect kind of thing.

I assume when your husband made that promise it was on the bases that you were both earning a good income each. You hardly expected him to fund multiple holidays when there is only one income coming in.

A week in New York for four people who be crazy money.

Nope. Just simple modern day manipulation.

It really is a modern day Cinderella tale.

Do you speak to him about finances? Do you fully understand your household financial situation or just let him pay for everything and turn a blind eye?

Is he paying for your student fees? Maybe he's very stressed with current COL.

You are coming across badly, and sound very young and princessy.

If you've asked about a holiday, and he's said it's too expensive, there's not much else you can do unless you get a job yourself and help to provide for your family.

Yes it's frustrating, but it's the state of the economy at the minute. Lots of people want to do lots of fun things like holidays/activities/eating out, but it isn't affordable at the moment.

Well he agreed to it to get her to move to another bloody country. Hardly reasonable for him to withhold funds for a holiday now she’s over here!

I thought I would have sympathy with you as my holidays are important to me too. But you regularly get trips abroad, which are definitely holidays and you are not working and expect other people to fund these trips. You are being a bit bratty about this.

I had a summer trip to NYC last year OP because of limited timings, I knew it would be a humid sweat bucket and it was.
It was fairly cheap as a result, hotel had a stay two nights get one free deal.
But honestly it isn't the time I'd choose to go and from the UK you have many great European locations which would make much more sense.

My guess is that you come from a very wealthy background where several holidays a year are the norm.

But your husband doesn’t want the same as you for whatever reason. The recording of him committing to holidays does come across as controlling and a bit entitled. It kind of implies deeper relationship issues.

There are compromises here:

Go on cheaper and easier holidays (uk or near Europe, France is pretty hot in the summer to the South).

Holiday alone, with friends or with your children and use savings to pay for it, or even work evenings/weekends.

Ultimately, you can’t make him do exactly what you want and, if you try, it is a recipe for a really unhappy relationship.

Not what you were asking, but NYC is often hellish in the summer.

Your google search trumps mine 😂

YABU, an annual holiday is more than adequate. Why New York for a week? Pick a more cost effective holiday and present that to him.

Actually to be in top 2% your income has to be just under 90k after tax. So there we go, I've found the 10k for them to go to New York

Tbf you are picking super expensive holidays OP. There is a compromise in there somewhere given you're not financially contributing at the minute.

Save the big ticket holidays for when you're putting in. Go to a warm country close by.

I think you need to agree a budget with him. If he can agree to say 3.5k you can get a cheap holiday somewhere hot if all you want is hot. If you want hot and luxurious it'll be a lot more. Or visit your mum at Easter with the kids and then go to a hotel for a week. Your ideas of holidays are expensive! But I think if he agreed a budget then you could look around. He may be scared you're going to splash 10k. The budget should include accommodation, food and activities. I find it helpful to set a daily budget.

Well top 2% puts you on £128k, after income tax and NI your take home is £76k, which is £6,333 per month. Still a lot of money but we have no idea what the mortgage, school fees other outgoings are. A trip to New York for a family during holidays is not going to get much change out of £10k.

he's the main breadwinner so it's not like I can go on my own.

Actually, I would say that you and the kids can go on holiday your own, as long as you and DH both agree that you can afford it as a family. Even if he decides to stay at home. This might well mean you staying in the UK, having a summer break to a nice location and staying in self catering. It's still a holiday. I know you don't work, but if you can afford it, that doesn't mean the kids have to miss out on a break away from home. If DH doesn't want to go, that means you can still take them. I would just keep the trip modest.

Right, so you can't afford holidays right now. It's quite simple isn't it? You go to see your mum abroad, why isn't that enough?

When you're earning again you can book all the holidays you like.

Would you feel comfortable booking a holiday in the south of Europe? Italy or Croatia? Not as hugely expensive as NYC and lots to do for everyone. With my DH I find it helpful to pinpoint exactly where we should go as it’s one less thing for him to deal with.

' lots of holidays to compensate for the lack of warmth and sunshine '

only the wealthy have lots of holidays

' to DisneyWorld so it's expensive '

I wonder how many holidays you could have gone on in Spain or somewhere similar instead

' and one holiday only the year before. '

some people don't have a holiday / many people only have one holiday a year

' I would love to visit NYC and explore it for a week '

yes NYC may well be hot in July / and there may be sunshine, but not many people would consider a weeks city break in NYC as compensation for the lack of warmth and sunshine...

you've already mentioned CoL then 2 paragraphs later you actually say your dh says ' it's expensive '

you had told him you would need lots of holidays, then you say you going away to your mums is not a holiday - umm you're not at Uni during these days / not doing housework / not caring for your child ? and certainly not working !

and you've changed your mind from you needing lots of holidays to you wanting lots of family holidays !

and he is the only one working.

fortunately when you are working you will be able to pay for / pay towards all these holidays.

of course the average job only gives 5 or 6 weeks annual leave and you would be expected by your employer to use that paid leave to visit your mother as well as all these holidays you need...

Maybe he can afford it maybe he just doesn't want to. It's his money isn't it. When op earns some money then maybe she gets a say in where it's spent. Incredibly entitled attitude I think personally. Holding things against him too. Honestly struggle to see how some people end up getting married in the first place.

So you don't work. Your husband works to pay for everything whilst you study and go abroad to stay with your mum, who pays for your trips so you, once again, don't pay anything.

Yet you're moaning?

Christ on a bike. You may be one of the most entitled people I've ever seen on here.

Weird replies. I think someone earning over 7.5k a month AFTER TAX can afford to take his family on holiday.