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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel like I've let my kids down..

132 replies

sunkmybattleship · 13/03/2024 16:39

My house feels so cramped. It's probably worth around £200k ish, it just has a tiny entrance hall which won't even be 6x6ft, a small living room with stairs for upstairs in it, small kitchen and conservatory. Upstairs tiny bathroom and 3 rooms, my daughter's barely having room for a dinky bed and wardrobe. Useless garden.

My friend has moved into her old family home which is bought and paid for.. it's huge. So much room for the kids, acres of land. My daughter loved having all the toys there was that we just don't have room for. We have no room for toys really, or any space.

We can't afford anything better, we both work full time as it is. I just feel like I've let them down for only being able to afford such a small house.

OP posts:
Dontforgetthesalamander · 13/03/2024 16:54

You've got a damn sight more than most people in the world!

WithACatLikeTread · 13/03/2024 16:52

Some children live in cramped flats and would love what you have. I wouldn't try and compare too much.

NineofPopes · 13/03/2024 16:52

We have a huge Victorian five-bed with a giant garden and DS much prefers his best friend’s tiny terraced house with only a yard at the back.

Firecrest19 · 13/03/2024 16:51

I agree. I don’t think children hugely notice house size and the important things are love, security, play etc. I grew up in a large house, we don’t have much money and my two are currently growing up in a house smaller than the one you describe. I do ask myself the same questions as you but honestly I think it’s all relative. My friends in big houses are still yearning after even bigger ones!

Twistie · 13/03/2024 16:50

The size of a house doesn’t reflect the love and happy home life provided within. Comparison is the thief of joy - don’t compare your home to others.

What exactly is useless about your garden? Have you considered a budget makeover to make it more usable and fun for kids?

user1468867181 · 13/03/2024 16:48

You haven't let your children down. You can only do your best. I grew up in a very small house and my parents had very little money but we were very happy. My parents gave me and my sisters a lot of love, encouragement and and support and that was enough.

Ofmince · 13/03/2024 16:43

I grew up in a 5 bedroom detached house with a huge garden. Fairly miserable childhood as my parent worked so much and paid little interest in who I was.

It's nice that your friend has a big house, but it doesn't guarantee happiness.