To feel like I've let my kids down..

I guess I might as well put my DC up for adoption as I don't, and likely never will, own a house.

Why not set yourself a garden makeover for the summer?
how old are your children?
loads of people give away climbing frames, trampolines, swing sets ect. Buy some chalk paint and paint a square on the fence buy some big chalk, loads of easy ideas like this on Pinterest. Buy a couple of bags of compost and some seeds, grow some veggies my kids love doing stuff like this encourages them to be outside.

No way have you let them down. Comparison is the thief of joy. You most likely make up for lack of space with cultural capital, this doesn't have to cost... they'll enjoy playing at friend's house but it's not home.... just make the most of free/ cheap activities in your area and ignore winges for tacky toys... you doing fine x

@Chocolateismylovelife did you mean to quote me? I don't have a negative view of my house or the one I grew up in 🤔

Close friends of ours bought a house a few years ago, it was large and needed a lot of work but it had gardens on all sides, a massive terrace with a stunning view, a tennis court, a huge lawn like a soccer pitch etc. They had 2 garages one which is a games room, and a second formal dining room and sitting room which have a sliding wall to make a huge open plan area. It is the coolest house ever and I was very jealous for a while but its in the middle of nowhere. We live in a big housing estate and my kids always have friends calling, its very relaxed, kids come and go and some days i don't see mine for hours, some days there are 7 kids in my house. The two worlds are so different. Only recently my DD said she feels a bit sorry for my friends DD because she has all this stuff and only her brother to play with. On balance I think my kids are luckier.

It’s not the house you live in but the home you build.
It is likely your children don’t view your house the same way as you do so be careful not to pass on your distaste of it to them. If they hear you say negative things about the house the will also view it negatively.

I don't think you are her friend - you sound bitter and jealous of her. Maybe you should stop hanging out with rich people and feeling resentful that no one gave you a house? You own a 3 bedroom home, which many people won't do.

The faux 'I've let my kids down' is silly and untruthful. What you mean is you are jealous you have to work and that nobody handed you life on a plate like they did to this woman. Well, that's just life.

Your house layout and size sounds pretty identical to mine. Do you think I have also let my kids down? Because I dont...I was thrilled when I finally managed to buy a house and I feel lucky.

We both also work full time and whilst I would like to work less hours, I'm still grateful for the life that we have

Letting your kids down is not living in a small house, it's not being there for them emotionally and physically and not ensuring that they have a stable, caring, encouraging home life. The rest is just window dressing.

If it makes you feel any better your house sounds v similar to mine but minus the conservatory and our 'hall' is approx 1 metre long and 1 metre wide. It also cost us almost £400k.......

It isn't the home I thought I'd have, and I live in an affluent area so dcs friends have huge houses buuuuut I'm just bloody chuffed that I was actually able to buy and the security that gives me. I doubt my siblings will ever be able to buy.

Move somewhere cheaper.

The size of a house means nothing really.

My best friend growing up lived in a one bedroom flat. Very happy family. I had another friend who was an only child and lived in a fairytale mansion on the beach. Ended up a very troubled girl addicted to heroin (thankfully now sober).

My cousins, four of them, grew up in a house like yours.
The rest of us (our parents, the aunts & uncles) all had much nicer / bigger houses, growing up. These were the youngest cousins, and my aunt & uncle did their best for them. They’ve turned out the most successful out of all of us, career-wise. And they seem happy, too. Still the same family home, my aunt & uncle were never rich. They’re a great family!

You can say this because you grew up in a huge house. I grew up in a smallish house, I had a tiny room - I could only study sitting on my bed as there was only room for a bed and a wardrobe in my room. It was too noisy to study downstairs. Try doing ten GCSEs and then four A levels in that tiny space and believe me: you notice how small your house is. I did absolutely fine but it would have been amazing if I had had a big desk. I told myself I was lucky I had my own room (small yes, but all mine).

Yes I adored my parents and yes being in a loving family was important. But many kids have space to learn and play AND a loving family.

Oh it also wasn’t fun being bullied for living in a council house by my richer so-called friends, and being sneered at for being poor, and my best friend’s parents very clearly looking down on me when I went round to their house . Children do compare, they do play one-upmanship, and they are cruel. So there’s that in the mix too.

I still don’t think the Op has “let her children down” but let’s not pretend money doesn’t matter in giving kids an equal chance in life. It does.

Conservatory AND a garden.....oh I dream about having that.
I am on the second floor of a block of flats with no private outdoor space and not even a balcony.
And it's (private) rented.
You are lucky. Very lucky.
Think about that every day.

Agreed !

So has she inherited this home? Presumably it was paid for by her parents? Where are they now? It's ok to be a bit jealous but it doesn't sound like it's something she's achieved

The size of your house absolutely doesnt matter to children imo. It’s home and your children are loved thats what counts.

I was one of five children in a small three bed semi, well two bedrooms and a box room really! There were three girls in one room and two boys in bunk beds in the box room. I don’t remember having many toys, just a wooden chest as the toy box and I know money was very tight for a number of years while my dad was getting his professional qualifications BUT I knew I was loved and cared for! I had a very secure childhood with lots of happy experiences that did not cost much but meant we had lots of time with our parents. All five of us reminisce about our childhood and don’t really focus on how small our house was or how few toys we had.

This just sounds completely normal? I don't see the issue.

Honestly as a kid I thought our house was massive, especially the garden. My dad still lives there and honestly it's teeny. A 2 up 2 down with a patio about 10ft by 10ft and a lawn slightly bigger than that. Kids don't see things the same way.