To feel like I've let my kids down..

Your house is bigger than mine ,comparison is the theif of joy as they say ,you have a secure home for your kid's
Which is more than a lot of people have.

We have a big 5 bed detached on a huge plot, I would give it to you tomorrow if my non verbal 6 year old could have their disability taken from then. I would live in a tent if I could have a conversation with my child about their day, their likes/dislikes, what they want to be when they grow up. Life is hard. Count your blessings ❤️

The first two replies on this thread say it all

Your post is dripping with negativity, this will begin to rub off on your child if you are not careful. Why don’t you try to list the positive? It’s also worth remembering your friends home may seem better than yours but I have known a couple of people move into the family home and it turns out it never truly feels like their own. You need to get creative with storage space and be thankful for what you have, also all kids prefer playing at other peoples houses regardless of the size/amount of toys.

Nobody has gardens in so much of Europe (not to mention the rest of the world)! Cramped apartments are the norm but adults and children can still be blissfully happy. I have lovely memories of staying in my friend's palatial family home for sleepovers, and my mum (who was a bit insecure) used to say 'You must be so disappointed coming home to a rabbit hutch' but I never was! Home is home, and that's what makes it best.

sorry to hear you're feeling down about your situation. it is easy to look at others and think the grass is greener but the best we can do is make the most of what we do have, not what we don't. You need to fall in love with your home and perhaps re-look at the current layout/set up. is that still working for you? you say you have three bedrooms, i assume 2 children? could they have a room with bunk beds to sleep in and have the other room as a toy room/play room? maybe look for YouTube inspiration for storage solutions for children toys like a tarin set table that also works as a storage box, or a toy box that could be a reading seat? depending on the ages of children maybe get them to go through what they dont use or play with and donate to charity to give yourself more space.

I grew up in a small house with my parents and twp sisters, I shared a bedroom with my sister until she went to university.
It was home, simple as that.
We didn't have much money as my mum stayed at home to raise us, but we were loved and happy. Despite our house being tiny, all of our friends came to our house to play or to hang out as we got older. When our friends were there we didn't have enough room to all sit at the kitchen table so my Mum would put a picnic blanket on the lounge floor and we'd 'picnic' inside.
We have such happy memories of our childhood, the one thing that never crosses my mind was how tiny the house was.
Please don't feel you've let your children down, they have a roof over their heads, you're doing a great job x

I shared a bedroom till I was 15 years old . My younger sister slept in my parents bedroom till she was 8 and we moved out . I hope this isn’t a pity post . We all moved on to have successful lives

Comparison is the thief of joy. Your dcs are lucky to have a safe, warm home, think about all the families that don’t have this.

If your garden's on a slope, you can get it terraced. Add a trampoline and a paved area to have picnics on a blanket and your kids will be happy as Larry. They need you to love them, keep them safe and give the space and time to play. You can do that in your house.

I felt like this a few years ago when I was in a cramped rented council house (prob much smaller than yours!) in an absolute shit hole area

Felt so hopeless

We own now but it's not as big as we'd like but at least we own and it's in a better area

So you're doing better than you think xxx

The size of the house doesn’t matter. Some parents can’t even put a roof over their kids head let alone afford a mortgage think your being to hard on yourself. Don’t compare what you have to what your friends do.

It’s ok to be envious quite natural really but love and stability far outweighs a big house. Believe me your children will appreciate this when they are older. I am speaking from experience here.

If I think back now to our 1st little rented council house on a ‘dodgy’ estate where I lived to 12 years old I remember warmth, coziness, my friends who lived around us. I remember the room I shared with my sister, with it’s Mickey Mouse clock in the wall, our posters of favourite bands, how you could hear the sounds on the street outside on Saturday mornings which meant other kids were getting up and ready to play.
It didn’t even have central heating, so despite my ‘cosy’ memories my parents remember it always being bloody freezing!

I had school friends who lived in much bigger houses, had cars, one had a sailboat that her mum took us out on sometimes. I don’t remember envying them at all, it was always nice to visit but I wouldn’t have swapped with them for a second.

Your kids sound fine OP, plus as you own your house they have some stability and won’t have to move. My parents bought somewhere when I was 12, not bigger than the place we were renting but I remember the secure feeling that came with knowing it was ours and not rented.

it’s crap comparing ourselves to others but you sound like your doing your best and when your children grow up they will appreciate you for that. I bet there will be people wishing they had what you’ve got.

You could get a big house up north grimbsy/cleethorpes etc however we have a similar priced house small rooms, tiered garden but here in Devon it's a safe area and we love it. Happiness to life is feeling satisfied. Lots of reasons I prefer our smaller home, quicker to clean, cheaper to heat and more money spare to go on holiday. Plus living in a big home attracts the wrong kind of friends in my experience.

Kids need love, protection, to feel wanted and some fun. Not big houses and large toys. They love walks in a forest, time at the park , time with their parents, imaginery adventures on the way to the shops. You are doing just great living with in your means

I had a very similar house to yours when my DC were little but we were able to afford to move when they got older. Sounds like your daughter is still a tot, the house will seem massive to her. You have an entirely normal set up! She will use play kitchens etc at nursery. Often you can fill a house with toys that are never played with. As others have said, comparison is the thief of joy. Reading, singing, imaginary play can all be done without taking up lots of space, use your normal pots and pans to pretend cook. Security and feeling loved are what matters not your square footage.

That said the thing we were all most glad of when we moved was additional toilets, so happy I don’t have to fight a teenager for the bathroom!

Some kids sleep on the streets soooo yeah. Long as they have parents that are there for them I doubt they care what size the house is.

Children won't remember the size of the house, they will remember what and who is inside it. You can live in a very big house and be as miserable as sin, and live in a small house and be very happy. Its not the house.

I grew up in a 2 up, 2 down with a sister and parents who loved me, showed me they loved me, worked bloody hard and who believed education was important. We didn’t have a car, we didn’t go away on holidays, we didn’t have much in the way of new toys or clothes. It didn’t matter.
I had an incredibly happy childhood, and have a great relationship with my family now.

Kids want your time, your attention and your care. That’s all. I’m now a high earner with a much bigger house than the one I grew up in but my childhood keeps me grounded and I tend to appreciate what I have rather than be looking for the bigger better house/car/thing whatever that is.
Your kids will be fine. Stuff is just stuff, it’s time and love that are the real riches in life.

I grew up in a 2-bed top floor flat in South London with a bedroom smaller than a regulation police cell. We had no room for toys either, Some of my friends had larger houses and gardens (& the local estate agent's DS lived in a massive place 4 stories 9 beds). Can't say it made a difference to me. It was home.

Watch "sort your life out" by Stacey Dooley. Honestly we have a toddler and a tiny 600 sq foot terrace house.

When we came to sell I sorted through EVERYTHING - filled bin bags with old junk and took multiple bags to the charity shop.

The house looked huge by the end. We even fitted a desk & computer in our bedroom (it's two bed) so my daughter had a nice, neat bedroom to herself with space to toddle around. Before we had the desk cramped in her room and she didn't have a proper bedroom, as there wasn't space for both.

Before I did the clear out my mum was saying our house was far too small for our poor child – afterwards she came over and went, unprompted "oh she has quite a lot of space here doesn't she".

I can't emphasise how much difference it makes. And it doesn't cost much, but does take a lot of time.

@sunkmybattleship You really haven't let your children down. Many people live in the size of house you describe, and bring their children up in it. It's only on Mumsnet that 'everyone' seems to have big expensive houses.

Comparison is the thief of joy. You are doing the best you can for them ( as I did for mine) and the love and care you give them is what matters to them. Your friend has inherited her home, which is very fortunate for her, but doesn't mean that you have failed in any way

If it helps at all - we came into some money and now live in a big 7 bedroom house with lots of land. We have been here a year but the kids say ALL the time that they miss our old small house! The kids have a bedroom each but still want to all sleep in the same bedroom! A home is made by the love and memories you fill it with. I’m sure they will love this house one day too, once they have lots of memories here ……… but kids really don’t care about the size of their house, more that they are happy and loved within in 🥰